• How is this not a Troma film?

Flesh Eating Moms directed by: James Martin. Starring: Robert Lee Oliver, Donatella Hecht, Neal Rosen, Valorie Hubbard and Marie Michaels.
Year of release: 1988
Runtime : 88 min / 1.85:1

Pardon my French but “these b*tches is crazy”. What the hell did I just watch? 90 minutes of lucid insanity and I needed it. Please just take me back to the eighties and the nineties, please. Take me back to the BMX ramps in the cul-de-sac, the yellow school bus with the nicotine stenched driver. The Pizzeria run by a guy named Sal next door the breakfast diner that served beer after 7pm. The shitty box television set with the knobs and the furniture with the plastic coverings. The Late, Late Movie on channel 7, frozen orange juice in the freezer, the leaves of autumn, the imaginary Leave It To Beaver music that played in your head on the way to school, the rotary phone with the two foot cord, walkie-talkies, lazer-tag, Saturday mornings, 25cent juices, the girl next door, the creepy van that was always parked down by the river, the haunted house on the corner, the sketchy guy at the park, the Ice Cream man with the sailor tattoos, stranger danger, DARE, the danger of razors in the candy, the rocks that addicts smoked, “No-that wasn’t candy”, MSG, the OTB, phone phreakers, NYNEX, book reports, BOOKS, Nintendo, VHS, A Current Affair, Unsolved Mysteries, the Cold War and the threat of impending doom with every slice of pizza & fruit punch. I was lucky enough to find this on youtube while researching conspiracy threads and documentaries online; there I was taking a break from learning about the Sabbateans and I noticed this title pop-up in my feed (no connection).

• PLOT
  Somewhere in some corner of New Jersey, the mothers have come down with a sickness and have turned into savage cannibalistic fiends. Nothing is off the menu when these hotwives go feral and start ripping into their neighbors and loved ones. The kids are stoned and freaked out trying to get to the bottom of the madness. The chief of police knows more than he says. The local medical examiner is barely over five feet tall and even he smells something is fishy going on.
  

This film was shot on a shoe string budget and enough imagination, humor and not-a-care in the world attitude to make this something special. I’ve already watched this film twice and still laugh my balls off. All shot on location in west bumblef*k.

• “It’s so damn bad it’s great. How is this not a Troma film.”

The limited budget was obviously focused on what special fx they could put together and “YES” the gore is here; almost reminiscent of early Peter Jackson type body horror courtesy of special effects artist Carl Sorensen (Child’s Play, Tremors). There is so much red stuff dripping here you could stock a Nathan’s Hot Dog stand and film an entire MaxiPad marketing campaign. The script is witty, tongue-in-cheek and crass. The cannibal virus itself has a nice original plot twist to it.
The acting? The acting is pure public-access meets Loyd Kaufman shot on film and smeared together inside the frame of an episodes of MONSTERS. I can’t say I recognize any of these actors aside from Marie Micheals who was one of the mob wives in Goodfellas and Donatella Hecht (The Manhattan Project 1986). I LOVE THIS. This is why I review these forgotten gems of analog entertainment when life was simpler, less sanitized and fun. Gen X wasn’t just an era it was a friggin attitude and I was fortunate enough to slide down the tail-end of that generation into the birth of the millennial before everything just became cookie cutter and redundant.

Flesh Eating Mothers is also available in Blu-ray format from Vinegar Syndrome presents, freshly restored in 2K and featuring a new batch of exclusive extra features.

You been fluffed enough now. So click the link below and watch with some friends and some pizza rolls, soda pop, whatever the hell you smoke and your significant others Hot Pockets. Just remember to take it easy, be dangerous, be cool, keep your finger on that Rewind Button and Yippee-ki-yay and F the Law.

I am breaking night again. Sleepless and restless yet bored and tired of the hamster wheel of square living; lost in the ether of the surface web again. I’m just here vegetated and binging on information and entertainment to numb the nerves and relax me as I float and drift with spontaneity. It looks like there’s an abundance of skullduggery and cloak & dagger schemes occurring in the world – more than the average citizen or loiterer could fathom. There is just so much information to process, to extrapolate, to synthesis and to summarize with such short time left. Information is more important than necessity; without information you have no access and avenues to proceed in society. You cannot arm yourself mentally and physically without information and the access to it.

That is what compelled me to present 1992’s Sneakers and luckily someone on YouTube was cool enough to have it uploaded.

Sneakers directed by Phil Alden Robinson, screenplay co-written with Walter Parkes and Lawrence Lasker. Starring Robert Redford, Dan Aykroyd, Ben Kingsley, Mary McDonnell, River Phoenix, Sidney Poitier and David Strathairn.

A successful movie from the creators of the 80’s classic WARGAMES, and the 20^th highest grossing film of that 1992, Sneakers is a crime thriller that if made nowadays would be considered cyber-noir. It’s another film that Roger Ebert didn’t get and gave a low review when released but, he had a knack for disliking movies before they found their audience.

The films plot revolves around a group of security penetration testers or “Pen Testers” that are recruited by men claiming to be NSA agents to retrieve a Russian black box that they are looking for. After successfully retrieving the item, the team learns that they have walked into something bigger than any of them could have imagined.

Filmed in multiple locations with a really good script and a stacked ensemble cast of heavy hitters, Sneakers has just enough humor and intrigue to keep your attention for the whole journey. A moment in time capsule for real-life cyberpunks of an analog time when things were more hands on. I definitely recommend this film for you the viewer.

Interesting sidenote:

• Leonard Adleman was the mathematical consultant on this movie. The character of “Bernard Abbott” was named after Robert Abbott, the so-called “Father of Information Security,” who was also a consultant for the film. The character “Whistler” was based on Josef “Joybubbles” Engressia and John “Cap’n Crunch” Draper, well-known figures in the phone phreaks and hacking communities.  “Donald Crease” was based on John Strauchs, a former CIA officer who founded the security consulting firm Systech Group.  Dan Ackroyd’s brother Peter supplied conspiracy material on “UFOS, cattle mutilations, the Tri-Lateral Commission, the staged moon landing, JFK, [and] Marilyn Monroe” that was used to “spice up” his character.

• The film’s press kit was accompanied by a floppy disk containing a custom program explaining the movie. Parts of the program were quasi-encrypted, requiring the user to enter an easily guessable password to proceed. It was one of the first electronic press kits by a film studio.

I know you’re probably out there in the wastelands feeling it right now: living check to check, angry, scared, dejected, detached, and trying to find some kind of escapism from reality. I hope my retro movie choice can give you some form of escapism from the madness and noise. Movies are an escape. Movies have a beginning and a definitive conclusion with all the drama and conflict playing out made digestible by the dialogue, characters and exposition, unlike reality. Reality sucks for everyone. But just know that you’re not alone out there in the storm. Stay safe, live reckless, question everything, dress smart and always keep one finger on that Rewind button. Til’ Next time.

the NYC-based Destryur is likely to be well-known to darksynth fans, having been a part of several NRW releases such as “Night at the Grindhouse” and the “In Search of Darkness” soundtrack.

Figure is a bit newer to the NewRetroWave scene – but he’s no stranger to horror, and is perhaps a more seasoned producer in his own right – having cut his teeth over the past decade in the U.S. bass music scene. His gigantic “We Must Destroy” track was released only just as NewRetroWave was getting it’s start way back in 2011!

Together, this is a fantastic match made in hell for your listening displeasure.

As for this album – “Frightmare” is a brilliant tribute to 70s and 80s horror VHS. Each track title is a reference to a classic horror film, such as “Exorcist,” “Phantasm,” and “Street Trash.” Even the title of the album, “Frightmare,” is a classic horror film as well.

But the coldly calculated concept digs even deeper, as the arrangement and composition of each track seems to be directly inspired by the individual films they’re named after. For example, “Spit on Your Grave” sounds like pure sonic inspiration for revenge – a clear homage to the ultra-graphic 1978 classic “I Spit on Your Grave.” Another example is the frantic bass-splattered “Street Trash”, which is reminiscent of the confusing, splatter-gore filled black comedy flick “Street Trash” from 1987.

Overall, this is a fantastic darksynth / horrorsynth album that should absolutely not be missed! So what are you waiting for? Grab a listen below now!

Dominion has been adapted into three original video animation series: the first, Dominion Tank Police, was released in 1988, the second, New Dominion Tank Police (特捜戦車隊ドミニオン, Tokusō Sensha Tai Dominion) in 1993, and the third, Tank Police Team TANK S.W.A.T. 01 (警察戦車隊ＴＡＮＫＳ．Ｗ．Ａ．Ｔ．０１, Keisatsu Sensha Tai TANK S.W.A.T. 01) in 2006. The 1988 OVA is four episodes long and animated by Agent 21, the 1993 OVA is six episodes long and animated by J.C.Staff, while TANK S.W.A.T. is one episode long and was animated by DOGA Productions. The manga was published by Hakusensha, Kodansha and later by Seishinsha. It has been published in English by Dark Horse Comics. The anime has been released in English translation in the United Kingdom and Australia by Manga Entertainment and in the United States by Central Park Media, under their U.S. Manga Corps division.

Cyberpunk from the land of the rising sun. Masamune Shirow’s precursor to his magnum opus Ghost in the Shell. Tank Police is retro-futuristic camp, as cheesy as you would imagine a love child of the Kerberos Panzer Cops and the Police Academy films.

First aired in the States on the Sci-fi Channel in it’s first years during Saturday Anime in the 90’s.
Get connected. Enjoy the ride and tune into a channel under a dead sky and get jacked into my nostalgic drip.

Stay off the drugs, stay strapped, stay dangerous, don’t forget your burner, wetware and ballistic hardware and always keep your finger on the REWIND button.

-HaiNe

I discovered this film on Amazon Prime and sweethearts let me tell you. This movie is one of the best worst films I’ve ever seen. A complete gumbo stew of schlocky 70’s Italian cinema and early 1980’s straight to the VHS bargain bin Grindhouse delight.

I have not seen the MST3K episode featuring this and I have no interest because, there is no way they could enhance what is already one hell of a lunatic frenzy this movie really is. And don’t expect a “Happy Ending” or some type of closure here. If this were remade today (God forbid) this could be a profitable trilogy.

Filmed in The Bronx as well a movie studio in Rome for some of the interior set pieces; you get the full atmosphere and desolation of the South Bronx during the late 70’s and early 80’s; a time I remember the most fondly when I think of NYC (1980’s-1990’s). The 70’s specifically (although before my time) was a vibrant time when HipHop was just born and so much innovation in subculture was being cultivated and building from the ground up in the shadows of bombed tenements and the ruins rubble, abandoned cars, open fire hydrants all due to a city at the brink of bankruptcy … but, still very much alive.

The movie is set sometime after 1990; the Bronx has devolved into a lawless territory run by gangs. The General Construction Corporation has designated the entire Burrough for evacuation and demolition for new condo’s and high-rises. The residents are being forcibly evicted from their homes and incentivized to relocate to New Mexico (“Yeesh”).  The pretext for this being some sort of viral outbreak spread by rats. Could it be a hoax? Who knows.

Trash is the former leader of a biker gang in the area that has become a loner and enemy of the state. His parents are flambéed by Corporate GCC goon squads running vagrants out of their homes and it pisses him off. Trash is on paper a, rugged, take-no-nonsense rogue, with a steel gaze and a wolverine’s tenacity. However, the part is played by an inexperienced young actor that lost a lot of muscle mass between this film and the previous film; an inexperienced actor that saunters around looking off camera like the director is pointing to his marks. It doesn’t matter because the movie works in all the wrong ways.

Trash is thrown together with a troublesome reporter trying to get to the bottom of the GCC and the city’s corrupt plans of gentrification. Later they are joined by the leader of a subterranean confederation of gangs as well a former bank robbery turned mole man and mercenary.

The shit is sure to hit a giant fan by the time the movie ends and I LOVE IT. I LOVE NY.

Escape from the Bronx has a runtime of 89 minutes, was released on August 1983 in Italy and premiered in the U.S. on January of that year. It is available to stream on Amazon Prime and here with subtitles on YouTube.

Enjoy this gift I’ve found for you. Keep yourselves safe, nasty and disobedient …. But, above all else “Keep your finger on that REWIND button”.

Favorite track: Wireframe

Jasper De Ceuster ‘Origins’ is out now via Bandcamp, Spotify, Soundcloud and Youtube.

If you like a bit of old-school tape wobble in your tracks, the EP has got you covered with 4 Mint-fresh cuts (apologies for the pun) from the funkiest corporate videos you’ve never seen.

Warning side effects to listening to this EP may include watercooler conversations, interest in eighties corporate office fashion, hearing laughter from a live studio audience, randomly freeze-framing for an imaginary camera.

‘Infotainment’ by John Mint is out now via Bandcamp.

The basic formula for cheesy 90’s cinema; if you didn’t see it in a matinee then you probably rented it from the local video store. Schlocky leftover clichés from the previous decade: firearms that sound like explosions, urban cowboy boots, duster jackets, and of course another film that warns you not to electrocute serial killers or else they’ll come back from the dead and keep killing.

Yes, just like House 3: the Horror Show, Shocker and Ghost in the Machine (1993), a homicidal maniac is resurrected into the world to reap havoc and kill, kill, kill.

The First Power is a 1990 American neo-noir horror film written and directed by Robert Resnikoff, and starring Lou Diamond Phillips, Tracy Griffith, Jeff Kober and Mykelti Williamson. The film received mostly negative reviews, but was a financial success just like a lot of horror movies of the era.

The film begins with LAPD on the manhunt for a serial killer (Jeff Kober). Mykelti Williamson (Forrest Gump, HEAT) and badass Filipino Detective (Lou Diamond Phillips) go to the borderline of law & order to catch the killer. After a near death confrontation with the “Pentagram killer” Lou Diamond Phillips character, Detective Russell Logan, manages to apprehend the killer with the help of an anonymous tip. But, that anonymous tip came with a price – “No death penalty”, a promise that Det. Logan breaks when the Pentagram Killer is sentenced in court. “Shaklack, klack” and the verdict is given. The killer enters the chamber and he is gassed to death in the presence of the arresting officers and officials. Tormented by a feverish nightmare of the killer breaking his restraints and stabbing him, Detective Logan awakens and is relieved that the nightmare is over. However, after a few more daymares he suspects something is wrong.

Tracking down his anonymous informant to a lavish house in the hills; home to a popular online psychic played by Tracy Griffith. How that works in 1990? I have no idea. Is she using search tools, such as ARCHIE, Gopher, or WAIS? I don’t know.  Her site looks like DOS. Regardless, another body is found. One of the officers involved in the arrest of the Pentagram killer is found murdered in one of the gang hideouts from Police Academy 2: the first assignment. Looks like another Pentagram murder or possibly a copycat.

When confronting Tracy Griffith about the copycat. She is angered by the Detectives ignorance and chastises him about breaking his promise.

What follows is an absurd, neo-noir horror thriller that is entertaining to say the most. On the surface, this very similar to the film Fallen starring Denzel Washington. The killer jumps from body to body and rooftop to street level, with the grace of Spider-Man in some parts.
Other parts are pretty cool: such as using the ceiling fan as a blender gimmick.

• “Psychic and a Cop walk into a bar… the partner died.”
• “Oh shit! It’s the flying bum. Cock Blocked by the homeless”.
• “Downtown LA was just as filthy as it is now.”
• Hocus Pocus and sexy nuns. It’s a film that will be forgotten but, not this day.

I present to you – THE FIRST POWER (1990). Stay safe. Stay sanctified. Get smart. Get lost and Get Free. The writings on the wall. Keep your finger on that REWIND button.

Movie Link – https://youtu.be/F3s0PlxWavE

Emil Rottmayer’s ‘Deflection’ is available for purchase and streaming on Bandcamp and Spotify.

A veritable spoonful of explosive, post-apocalyptic sci-fi action to make the exhausting election coverage go down, the film is a godsend that is sure to bring you back to those golden years when end times looked a lot more fun. In an age of great divide and turmoil, Cyborg: Deadly Machine is a humanistic reminder of human resilience spelt in the form of a love letter dedicated to classic Eighties and Nineties action flicks.

The French filmmakers deliver above and beyond all expectations, thanks in no small part to the phenomenal score by Synthwave acts Fixions and Meteor (out now on Bandcamp)

Cyborg : Deadly Machine (Movie Soundtrack) by Meteor / Fixions / Kid Zan / Magic Dance

Consolidating cheesy one-liners, stunning stunt work and old-school practical effects eye-candy, the Masebrothers successfully recreate the feel of the classics we all know and love to create a piece of indie retro cinema for the ages.

The French version will also be premiering on Youtube tonight via this second link.

Be sure to Subscribe to the Masebrothers Youtube channel and like their Facebook page to catch the latest news on their upcoming projects and releases.

Disney owns everything now. They own Darth Vader and Spider-Man. Disney is a monolith… an empire. We kneel at its majestic feet and howl that we are unworthy to bask in its glow. We fork over heaps and heaps of dough to soak generation after generation of our children in Disney’s particular flavor of saccharine, and that company has more money than some countries do. Disney has us on a leash.

And because we crave abuse, sweet sweet abuse, we love it.

It definitely spills over into the video game market. Of course it does! They have a whole department of people who examine and analyze all the other shit that kids and preteens are into, and they make sure they’ve got a finger in the pie. What started with the Nintendo Entertainment System continues with series like Kingdom Hearts. You’ve got Squaresoft writing games involving twiggy little blond anime kids saving the Magic Kingdom alongside Goofy. Sure, it sounds absurd… but the things is, most of the games are good.

Capcom yielded a bumper crop of NES titles for Disney during the middle and latter periods of the system’s lifespan. They developed many of the titles, and published a few as well, keeping their hand in the till as the house that Walt built wrote check after check. This resulted in a pretty high standard of quality; while LJN was pulling licensing deals out of a Powerball machine and releasing uninspired digital gruel, Capcom was taking the stairs instead of the elevator and making sure they looked you in the eye when they shook your hand. I’ve plucked a couple of games from this family for review in the past, but I figured it was time to immerse myself (and as a result, you) a little deeper.

The Little Mermaid

1991

The Little Mermaid was a pretty big fucking deal in the early 90s. Did you know that the early VHS release had a dick on the cover? It was hidden as one of the towers on the castle! As a grown man, that is the first thing I think of when the film is mentioned.

Let’s put it this way: if that’s NOT supposed to be a schlong, then Freud would have a field day with this artist.

Anyway… you know how Capcom do. They turned this bitch out. I mean, at least for a game based on Disney’s The Little Mermaid. The intro is long, covering a paraphrased and liberally switchboarded version of the movie’s plot. These narrative scenes are the game’s only real flaw; the characters all seem like doll-eyed mannequins in some calm but churning hell. The music, which is decent everywhere else in the game, is meandering and bland.

“Listen, I don’t know, I’m just a fucking crab, okay? I emcee for your dad, I pay my bills, and occasionally bet too much on the seahorses and end up in hock with the mob. How the hell am I supposed to know how to get you a pair of feet? Ursula’s as good a bet as any, honey. It’s that or stay down here as the sexiest little chicken of the sea. Carpe diem.”

The game itself is worth aggressively skipping the cut scenes for. Ariel swims through the familiar locales of the film, dealing with threats by trapping fish in bubbles to throw as weapons or picking up loose items. It’s similar to the Chip n’ Dale NES cart Capcom released the year previous, but Ariel is a good deal more versatile and also doesn’t run around bashing herself on the head like those little assholes do in their game. There’s an additional aspect where you collect pearls to up the power and range of your attacks, as well as some light puzzle solving. I hadn’t messed with this one much as a kid, but revisiting it was a fun experience.

I would describe the graphics as “slightly shittier than Mega Man.” There’s not a ton of definition in a lot of the sprites, but hey, they’re fish. The backgrounds look pretty good (especially on the ice level and the sunken ship) and things have a colorful but controlled tone to them. As I said before, the music during game play is pretty good, an upbeat and lighthearted soundtrack that I found very appropriate for imprisoning little fish inside bubbles and hurling them brutally at their kin. This isn’t a bad game, but it doesn’t quite reach “classic” status for me. I’d say that if you collect, and you see this for $15 or less, go for it. Don’t get nuts over it, though.

Adventures in the Magic Kingdom

1990

The first tidbit I have to offer you about this one is that Capcom did not release it domestically in Japan; Adventures in the Magic Kingdom was released only in Oceania, North America and Europe (France, UK and Scandinavia). Another one that flew under my radar as a kid, this game seemed powerfully stupid at first when I revisited it, but it grew on me as I ignored the premise and focused on the gameplay itself.

The game opens on a beautiful day in Disney’s fully fabricated reality: the Magic Kingdom. Mickey’s got a parade all planned, but his day’s about to hit a serious speed bump in the form of his dipshit friend Goofy the dog. Mickey had the bright idea to trust Goofy with the keys to the gate. Goofy left the golden key inside the castle… and also locked himself out of the castle in the process. I swear to God, Goofy, you’d lose your ass if it wasn’t attached to you.

That really narrows it down. Look at his face. He’s got that oblivious serenity that only a total nimrod can manage. The kind that just makes you angrier at his sub-animal stupidity. Goofy is one of the luckiest morons in the world, because he has no idea that he is a fucking moron. There’s a lesson in that somewhere, but it’s probably not worth meditating on.

Mickey, with the air of a celebrity who’s used to being obeyed, casually fobs this problem off on you. You’re some kid dressed like Curious George’s dad, running around completely unsupervised, acting as an unpaid intern for Mickey Mouse. The object of the game is to find all six of the silver keys in the different parts of the Kingdom where that hillbilly schmuck Goofy lost them. Maybe it’s time to find someone else to carry the key ring. Forgive me if I seem judgmental, but if someone’s actual fucking name is Goofy, maybe they should be limited to low-impact responsibilities.

The levels are based on Disney’s popular rides/attractions at their amusement parks, and a lot of the “characters” you have to deal with to find the keys are just Mickey and Goofy in costumes. This is some kind of spiritual torture, some means of annihilating the ego of a gamer to achieve anti-enlightenment. Space Mountain is pretty sick, involving some fast-paced piloting and shooting. The Old West one is absolute bullshit as you careen downhill in a runaway train while boulders ricochet across your path at random, but the Haunted Mansion one is probably my favorite.

Look at his face. He seriously looks like he’s worried about getting murdered.  Don’t worry, little gaucho boy… it isn’t the ghouls and Draculas you need to worry about at Disney World… it’s the alligators and the room-temperature food.

One thing Adventures in the Magic Kingdom deserves a lot of credit for is how it mixes up the gameplay style. You’re racing in cars and spaceships, walking around in overhead view to gather clues and info, then plowing through some formulaic platform action. As much as I jokingly make this game sound like a secondhand bag of farts, it’s really fun. The challenge level is certainly a tad more “Capcom Difficult” than The Little Mermaid, but things are still manageable if you have basic chops and quick thumbs. Things progress in a far more linear fashion than one may think, so the game’s only a time commitment if you go in totally blind. Don’t do that, though. Damn.

Click an Image to Enlarge.

The music’s a bit of a throwaway in places, but as with Little Mermaid above, the level themes are great. It turns out that the composer for Adventures in the Magic Kingdom was Yoko Shimomura, who would later go on to write the music for Kingdom Hearts. The graphics are… well, they’re fine. Another vividly colorful palette, a variety of lively sprites and some well-drawn (if uninspired) backgrounds. Most of what’s fun about Adventures in the Magic Kingdom is knowing you’re playing a couple games at once.

Darkwing Duck

1992

I always thought it was cool that Launchpad McQuack was able to find a client after DuckTales. He’s a good guy, he works hard, and even though he’s kind of a goof, he’s always there when you need him. You can’t ask for more than that in a private helicopter pilot.

The hero behind the hero.

I’ll come right out with it: I never gave two shits about Darkwing Duck as a kid. By 1992 I think I was more interested in the campy horror films I could get away with watching on rented VHS and making my first forays into the world of RPGs. This game got added to the stack because it’s one I hear mixed things about. I took Darkwing Duck for a spin, and I can sum up my impression of it pretty quickly: It’s Mega Man except you’re Darkwing Duck and you can hang on hooks and lanterns.

I’m not saying it’s bad. Relax. It’s actually better than the Mega Man games in terms of mechanics, as someone who loathes Mega Man‘s extremely limited control scheme. Darkwing Duck can actually crouch, and has a neat little trick where he can grab things hanging against the background to get across tricky areas. Seriously though… play this shit for about ten minutes and tell me it isn’t just Mega Man‘s format with a few extra dashes of flavor. You still only shoot straight in front of you, though. The dopes in Contra can aim in eight directions, and they die in one hit. Get it together, Rock. You have no excuse.

Click to Enlarge.

I don’t know who any of the characters are except Darkwing Duck and Launchpad McQuack, but the graphics they’re drawn in are really well-done. One thing I’ll say for the Mega Man series is that it is visually appealing, and the same quality and style is present here. The music is addictively cool, a jazz-themed score with a ton of variety and finesse. The sound effects are worth mentioning; there is a slight but noticeable jump in quality, and if you need a ready example, just listen to Launchpad’s helicopter. That’s pretty damn slick for the NES.

Mickey Mousecapade

1987

Even the title screen is sparse and drab, like a tenement at the turn of the century. Mickey and Minnie wear forced smiles, choking back the leaden contempt they have come to feel for one another, themselves, and every living thing. There is no turning back now, no starting over, no exit from the whirlwind. This will end in tragedy, but it’s better than the shame of being alone.

Hudson Soft actually developed this one, but Capcom published it. It was released in Japan a year before the Western world got it, as Mickey Mouse: Fushigi no kuni no Daibouken (Mickey Mouse: Adventures in Wonderland). Before getting into the game itself, there’s one more bit of trivia to share: if you were to take the cartridge apart, you may notice a hidden Mickey Mouse symbol on the game’s circuit board.

DO IT, GO PRY YOUR COPY OPEN TO SEE IT IT’S TOTALLY WORTH IT

Petey the Dog is a huge creep and has kidnapped Alice (yes, from Alice in Wonderland). Mickey busts through the door of the Fun House like a train wreck on a mission to rescue her, and drags poor Minnie along on his quest. It’s pretty clear based on context clues that Minnie would rather be doing something else. Those context clues are her reluctance during the first intro animation (wherein Mickey barks her name like an abusive boyfriend to get her to comply) and the total lack of interest she seems to display in 1 player mode while following Mickey. The real goose turd is that if she doesn’t keep up, you can’t finish a level and you’ll have to backtrack to find her. The misogyny is painted thickly with a wide brush in Mickey Mousecapade, or at least I’m willing to read into what I saw and make a mountain out of a molehill.

“Don’t you make me wait on you, Minnie… and God help you if I ever see you talking to another man. Now come on, we’ve got to go rescue a young blonde.”

I’m very sad to report that this is not one of Hudson’s usual home runs. Even QC and oversight from Capcom failed to render Mickey Mousecapade more than barely playable. Progress is tedious right from the get-go as you navigate an impossibly huge fucking house with no real clue what your specific goal is. Mickey throws stars, and they travel through the game’s space way fucking slower than you’d imagine a star would move. You have to worry about two characters getting hurt while having only nominal and indirect control over one of them, and this gets old quick. Minnie will drown, get bitten by animals, chopped with swords, etc. as you duck and weave trying to put 10 pounds of mouse shit in a five pound bag.

Minnie plummets to her watery grave as her loving boyfriend turns callously away; Judging by the snake’s face, he’s having a better day than you. Click to Enlarge.

Graphically, the game’s on par with late 80s NES fare. The backgrounds are rich once you reach the flowery part of the forest before the castle, and some of the bosses are nicely detailed. Otherwise, it is adequate. I don’t think they put much time into the audio side of things, but it’s not offensively bad or a distraction or anything. It’s just not impressive. I just end up more focused on Mickey and Minnie’s apparent codependency and the severe peril to which it exposes them both. Mickey Mousecapade makes me think about things… about the nature of how we love each other, and how that can become poison to us. Run, Minnie. Get out while you can.

Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers 2

1993

A few more lines on Dale’s face… the job and the trucker pills will do that. Chip lives cleaner, sure, but he holds on to a lot more from the streets when he clocks out. Takes the demons home with him. Men of honor live thankless lives that rob them of their very humanity… but it’s in their blood now. Once a cop, always a cop. Fighting a war you can’t win. It still bothers me that neither of them wears pants.

Everyone’s a little older, a little wiser, and yet these two gumshoes are still throwing themselves at danger like suicidal moths to an infernal flame. Chip and Dale both want to die; they crave the taste of ashes and dream often about the cold of the grave. One day. But not yet. Not until every pint-sized criminal has been driven off the streets in a great welter of blood and smoke.

Hence the NES sequel.

I wrote about the 1990 original earlier on in my tenure here at NRW; it’s an exercise in insanity that requires either a hint of masochism or some very sharp reflexes… and overall, I like it. It’s both good and bad that this is essentially the same game with different levels. There’s a bit more of a story, something about Fat Cat releasing evil spirits from an urn to rules the world, but all that does for me is produce comedy gold like the screenshots below:

As the thumb-sized duo tangle with the supernatural to put a stop to Fat Cat’s plans, you can still nail each other in the head with boxes and generally get in each other’s way, either deliberately or on accident. It’s the only thing not to like. The same frantic sense of action is present, along with a mind-boggling variety of enemies and a new set of clever challenges.

The graphics are improved somewhat, and this comes through especially well during the otherwise laughable cut scenes. That little extra touch more shading, more detail by a few pixels, makes quite a difference in the presentation. The soundtrack rivals that of the first game with its madcap vitality and hyperactive pace, and there seems to be a good deal of musical competency at work. Looking in at this game from the outside, they didn’t just remake Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers for the NES… they made a second one and may have accidentally even improved it.

AND THE WHEAT IS SEPARATED FROM THE CHAFF

Little Mermaid: 7/10 (Novel and engaging, visually appealing. On the good side of average.)

Adventures in the Magic Kingdom: 7/10 (It wouldn’t be so good in my eyes if it didn’t have the variety in it that makes it stay interesting.)

Darkwing Duck: 5/10 (You phoned it in, Capcom. Whatever. You can get away with shit like that sometimes. You’re Capcom.)

Mickey Mousecapade: 4/10 (It strikes me that game design decisions were made on short notice, with little foresight or perhaps even testing o results. It also strikes me that those involved may have just hated the project and wanted it to be terrible. Good job.)

Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers 2: 8/10 (WELL SOME TIMES / SOME CRIMES / GO SLIPPIN THROUGH THE CRACKS / BUT THESE TWO / GUMSHOES / ARE PICKIN UP THE SLACK / THERE’S NO CASE TOO BIG / NO CASE TOO SMALL / WHEN YOU NEED HELP JUST CALL)

This month see’s the release of Tom’s first book, ‘VHS: Video Cover Art’, of which he is the designer and curator. The book is a collection of over 240 complete video sleeve artworks, many seen here for the very first time. Whether you’re a fan of movies or a fan of art in general, this book is quite simply fascinating and will immediately transport you straight back to those wondrous days of the video store!

Recently I was lucky enough to catch up with Tom to talk a little about his new book and his love for VHS.

RP: Tom, thank you so much for speaking with me today. How are you?

Yeah not bad thanks!

RP: Do you remember the first VHS you ever rented?

Yes I do! I went to the video shop with my Mum and cousin, I remember being in awe of all these movies on the walls. It was the first video shop in the area, it was called ‘Blaby Video’ (named after the village it was in). I rented Tron and my cousin rented the Hulk movie, he tried to make out he’d picked the better film… oh boy was he wrong!!!

RP: When did you first become interested in VHS cover art?

I was a VHS addict from the start and all the tapes back then had such amazing covers for all these random films, you couldn’t help but get excited by the artwork. We (me and my cousin) used to get loads of old sample covers from the local mobile video shop, I still remember the excitement of going through the boxes of covers and picking out the ones we wanted. 3 of those covers which survived have actually made it into the book; Trapped, The Chinese Typewriter and The Big Town.

RP: Can you recall the first cover you worked on?

The first commissioned cover I worked on was Jaguar Lives. It feels kind of rough now looking back on it.

RP: As an artist, what inspires you and who are your favourite artists?

Lots of things inspire me, I’m quite a visual hoarder. But for the poster work its mainly a mixture of old poster art, video covers and pulp fiction books.

My favourite artists have to be Enzo Sciotti, Renato Casaro, Caudio Casaro, Graham Humpherys, Laurent Melki, Drew Struzan, Boris Vallejo and Frank Frazzetta.

RP: Are you generally allowed full artistic freedom when designing cover art?

Well to a degree, but there is always criteria which you have to cover, elements the director wants to include or two concepts get merged into one. I do try to talk people around if I feel super strongly about a visual aesthetic. Like life though, some compromises usually have to take place.

RP: You’ve designed countless covers and posters for movies, is there a particular piece that you’re really fond of?

It varies depending on what new job comes in, I’m quite chuffed about a piece I did for a cult zombie film at the end of last year, but it hasn’t been released yet. Obviously Hobo with a shotgun has stood me in good stead and I do love The Innkeepers poster still.

RP: What’s the worst cover to a movie you’ve ever seen? Whether it be past or present.

Well I’m always surprised how they keep butchering films on DVD covers, especially some of the classics which already have great artwork. So virtually any new design created for general DVD release 2000 upwards.

RP: When did you first get the idea to do this book?

It was an idea I had been toying with for ages, I’d dip into all these amazing video cover artworks for reference and there was no books out there which treated video cover art in the same way they do with poster art. There have been some video books released in the past but mostly they focus on collecting or they crop the covers etc. I wanted something which clearly and concisely displayed the whole image and was a good solid collection of the best designed video covers.

It was screaming out to be done. I even told people who had published film books that they should do one, but no one took the hint. I guess I was the one who had the passion and drive to see it though, so I knuckled down and did it myself. It was a lot more work than I realised, I even had to miss my birthday last year to work on it. So it was a total labour of love.

RP: The book contains a foreword by fellow VHS obsessive and man from Mondo, Justin Ishmael. How did Justin become involved?

That was a sort of last minute thing, I had to compile some testimonials for the back cover and I spoke to Rob Jones at Mondo having worked with him on ‘The Heat’ (he project managed that job), It was his idea to speak to Justin who he said was a massive VHS head and he’d most likely be up for writing a foreword. So I sent over the working artwork for the book and told him about the project, he obviously knew me from my work and ’The Heat’, he loved it and said yes basically.

RP: Can you remember how many VHS covers you looked through in total while compiling the book?

Man, hundreds! I scanned a load more than I put in the book too, but you have to cull the page count at some point!

As well as my own collection I met up with two of the UK’s most prolific collectors Dale Lloyd: Viva VHS (www.vivavhs.co.uk) and Phil Baker: Video Collector (www.videocollector.co.uk) who between them have over 9000 videos!

RP: The particular style of cover art featured in your book seemed to fade away during the 1990’s, what do you think of the path that it’s taking today? I mean as far as most being slapped together in photoshop?

Yeah it sucks, films are poorly represented and the covers don’t inspire anymore, not like they used to. Its all homogenized crap for supermarket sales, distribution sales departments have the final say and its some suited guy/girl who has no creative training. So to do something they can easily quantify and control they drag it all down to a basic level.

RP: Why do you think cover art is so important?

Because it was a cultural art form which touched us all growing up. I still see the isles in the video shop as a sort of twisted pop art gallery, they inspired creativity and imagination in kids and I think its had a lasting effect on anyone who experienced it in its heyday. You always see people smile and their eyes light up with, “Ah yeah, I remember that cover at the video shop”. Its art as far as I see it!

RP: Finally, if you had to pick your favourite 80’s movie based on the film itself and its cover art, what would you pick?

So many!! I love Neon Maniacs, which is why I’m holding it on the cover! All be it flawed and a troubled production, its a great 80s concept for a horror film and its only a film which could have been made back then, with the characters being Monsters, Samurai’s, Rambo’s etc. The young budding director makes horror films on her video camera with the teen kids at school and the grand finale is at the school disco, complete with bad 80s bands! It has it all!!!

Tom Hodge’s new book ‘VHS: Video Cover Art’ is available for pre-order NOW at www.vhsvideocoverart.com

For more information on Tom’s work, you can also visit his official site www.thedudedesigns.com