WCW World Champion Wrestling

Nichibutsu/Pony Canyon/FCI, 1989

It’s no lie to say that I was a bit of a kook for pro wrestling as a kid, and even today I sometimes listen to podcasts and “shoot” interviews featuring the sport’s old hands and classic geniuses; sometimes I will cue up a playlist of Jim Cornette’s colorful and profanity-laced rantings just to entertain myself while I’m about my daily tasks. I remember the WCW NES game becoming available – I first knew of it from a DC Comics ad in early 1990 – and I remember being… okay with it.

WCW features a popular spread of the promotion’s wrestlers from the late 80s, including the Road Warriors, Lex Luger, and The Man Himself, Nature Boy Ric Flair. WCW has a pretty cool feature that a lot of its contemporaries didn’t: each wrestler has a unique move set, and you assign four moves to the four directional buttons before each match. This not only lets you mix things up to keep the game from getting too boring, it also allows for a little bit of strategy if you decide that you want to get that in-depth with this shit.

Sting and Michael P.S. Hayes perform a gratuitous and elaborate sex act, right before your very eyes.

The real drawbacks are that the controls do take some getting used to, heavily overshadowed by the typical Pony Canyon graphical laziness. It’s saved by some really good in-game music and surprisingly clear digitized voices.

I give WCW a 5 out of 10. I’d say check it out if you’re into old school pro wrestling, but be ready to take a few minutes to settle in and just enjoy the nostalgia while you’re at it.

The Three Stooges

Incredible Technologies/Beam Software, 1989

This is another one of those games where they tried desperately to lash a group of mini games into one cohesive product. I hazard to say that Three Stooges isn’t entirely bad, it’s just… well, let me try something new and be polite. I, for one, think this game is kind of shitty. There may be people out there who like it, or even love it. I haven’t met any.

The story is noble enough, a blue collar drama wherein Larry, Moe, and Curly aim to help the orphanage stay afloat despite the efforts of a Snidely Whiplash-style “evil banker.” The trio go into action, making money for the tots in a variety of fittingly absurd ways. Pie throwing and cracker eating contests, moonlighting as doctors and waiters, the Stooges are broad in their vision when it comes to making dough. My favorite so far has to be the hospital job; no HMO will cover the high-speed lunacy of the gurney race. The “contest” themed gigs play a lot like parts of LJN’s Back to the Future, which is not a compliment. It’s more of an accusation.

One of the many classic moments where I have no fucking idea what’s going on, but I’m doing my best anyway.

This is a port of a 1987 computer game so I’ll pull my punches a little bit. The graphics are actually pretty good for what we’re dealing with, and even the usually lousy “realistic” close-ups of familiar characters are very on-point. The sound is absolute dog shit, however. Dinky, repetitive music loops, badly garbled voice samples… I believe the audio was where they cut corners when updating this game from its original format. Compared to, say, Ironsword: Wizards & Warriors II, the sound is absolutely piss-poor.

The Three Stooges gets a 5 out of 10 for effort, because while the sound drives me fucking nuts, a couple of these sub-games are actually pretty fun to play and I think the spirit of the source material carries through fairly well.

Super Spike V’Ball

Technos Japan, 1989

I am normally pretty wish-washy on sports games, especially on early consoles like the NES. The RBI series and Blades of Steel are exemplary games for the system, but most of the rest of the NES sports games amount to convoluted crap as far as I’m concerned. I was happy to find another exception to that rule in Super Spike.

My stupid ass didn’t have too much trouble figuring out how to serve and keep the ball in play, and I felt very much like the challenge level was scaled appropriately. I felt like Super Spike was giving me a chance to learn the ropes before violently strangling me with them.

Ball-bashing Chad action at its finest.

One look at the game in action will remind you of Double Dragon I and II for the NES; decently-defined sprites and appropriately intense sound effects mark this as Technos work through and through. The game plays pretty smoothly and the action gets intense. The music is hit or miss, but when it’s good it’s on par with any of the ballsy tracks from the NES version of Double Dragon II.

Super Spike gets a 7 out of 10. I was pleasantly surprised by it, well-entertained, and found it to be another solid piece of work by Technos Japan.

Be sure to keep an eye out for the finale of this round of reviews on the 28^th. Perhaps after this, we will move on to another system we’ve neglected so far. If you have any suggestions, feel free to email me or hit me up on the Facebook page. I’ve got to sweep the cutting room floor now, so goodbye until then, and stay retro!

In recent weeks, my emulator/ROM collection has expanded well into the Fifth Generation of video game consoles. I’ve been playing a lot of Mr. Driller and thinking hard about what my next article topic should be. The first notion I had, strengthened by countless squeaky little Kewpie-like voices in my head, was to write an article about Mr. Driller. After summoning up the self-restraint (and self-respect) not to let that happen, I hit the books. I’d just done Double Dragon as a recent video, and thought an article about its sequel might be a good follow-up. As it turns out, the franchise family tree has a little split here. Allow me to elaborate…

The American NES version sort of scoots Marian’s brutal shooting death behind the desk, but it’s still canon, goddamn it!

You see, Double Dragon II: the Revenge is two different games. Both games have the same general plot: The Shadow Warriors have upped the ante this time by not kidnapping, but straight-up murdering Marian in cold blood. This neatly explains the “revenge” part, because unless you are Dr. Frankenstein or a very talented practitioner of Vodun, there is no point in rescuing a corpse. The arcade sequel, released in 1988, is essentially an improved version of the original in terms of gameplay. The 1989 NES sequel, which I would like to firmly establish as the main subject of this article, is… well, pretty mechanically different from the first one. Directed by Hiroyuki Sekimoto (who also co-directed River City Ransom), the NES’s Double Dragon II is its own distinct game when compared to both the original title and its arcade “sister.”

In-store ad poster, inexplicably featuring Marian alive and well, just needing a new knee-length skirt.

The upside is that, unlike the first NES Double Dragon, you don’t have to “earn” your special moves, plus you get more of them. Right from the beginning, you can not only do a spinning kick, but also a pretty devastating flying uppercut and a brutal jumping knee. The pain in the ass about these two moves is the timing; you have to execute them while on one knee just after landing from a jump or fall, but the resulting hospital bills for the bad guys are worth the effort.

A ghastly two-man show for a one-man audience.

That’s where my praise for the mechanical aspects of the game stop cold. This next part is really counter-intuitive and annoying. Normally, you’re used to a beat-em-up where you just control the direction of your attacks by, well, FACING A CERTAIN WAY, right? Maybe having one button or combo of buttons belt out a special backward strike to cover your ass in times of trouble? Well, luckily for you, Double Dragon II works completely differently. The B button attacks to your left, and the A button attacks to your right. Since your front attacks are punches and your rear ones are kicks that make your feet look like sassy lady shoes, this means that exercising deliberate control over how you attack someone requires coordination between two sets of choices… one of which also governs your movement. As a small relief, you still do your jumpy-moves in whatever direction you’re facing. Double Dragon II is far from all-bad once you get used to this control scheme, however, and once you do, it can even become oddly comfortable. It’s just… unnatural at first. Another cool part is that 2-player action isn’t limited to beating the shit out of each other with two giant palette-swapped versions of the same character; two players can attack the Shadow Warriors cooperatively. While this may up your chances of victory, watch your friendly fire. Carelessness is how friends kick each other right in the stupid face.

Choo choo! or is it a bulldozer? Either way, it’s a frustrating place to die.

All the same basic enemies are here from the prequel, with slight outfit makeovers and some slightly upgraded moves. Williams and Rowper look right at home on the slightly darker 19XX streets; Linda has a tight mohawk and a nastier chain-whip; even Abobo updated his look by growing some Danny Trejo-style hair! There are also new surprises, especially in the form of boss characters. Most notably, the ninja-type characters you fight just outside the helicopter are absolutely miserable assholes who hammer you mercilessly before leaping away from your feeble attacks. You fight inside that helicopter, as well as on a moving demolition machine. Thematically, Double Dragon II is pretty exciting. The difficulty level isn’t unfair, but the game isn’t shy about dog-piling you or throwing lethal traps your way to keep things interesting. On the highest difficulty, you can even bring Marian back to life, which I’m unsure whether I should be happy or horrified about.

The “Shadow Boss” picks a real nasty place to stage your showdown; I reiterate, fuck those disco ninjas.

The graphics are pretty good for NES stuff, and the game is definitely a distinct theme change from the prequel. The cut scenes between levels are a great touch, and it’s too bad more games in the genre at the time didn’t illustrate story that way. The sound and music are okay… the soundtrack is gently derivative of the prequel’s, but only careful listening betrays it. It’s a bit darker and cooler in tone, to fit the setting.

Double Dragon II: the Revenge for NES gets 6/10. It’s a solid beat-em-up with a lot of creativity put into aspects of its design, but that hare-brained control scheme hurts it pretty badly.

See you in April!

Part of why so many of us love video games is that they’re a release. They release tension. They give us an outlet. Have you ever just wanted to, like, throw a trash can at a guy, or kick and punch him until he passes out? You might not have been there, but I doubt that. If you denied it, I wouldn’t believe you.

River City Ransom was one of those releases for a lot of gamers in 1989. Made by Technos, the same company that developed Double Dragon, RCR plays similarly to that game, although several elements have been added. The best way to describe River City Ransom is that it is a scrolling beat-em-up, but with faint hints of RPG inserted throughout. For instance, the gameplay is non-linear, meaning you can wander about, even backtracking. You don’t “level-up,” at least not by the strict definition of that term. Instead, when you beat the crap out of hooligans, they drop money, and you use that money to buy both temporary and permanent powerups.

In Japan, River City Ransom is called Downtown Nekketsu Monogatari, or “Downtown Hot-Blooded Story,” and is part of the Kunio-kun series. Several of these games, when localized for the American market, were renamed and retooled to stand alone. Examples are Renegade, Nintendo World Cup, and Super Dodge Ball. Astute observation reveals similarities in graphics, of course. River City Ransom revolves around rescuing your character’s girlfriend from Slick, the main villain. To do this, you must battle your way through River City, slamming the members of various gangs and learning new techniques to toughen yourself up for the final ascent into River City High School. You need not do this alone, as a second player is able to play as the friend of the main protagonist (who is basically identical for gameplay purposes).  As mentioned above, your character has a set of stats, such as Stamina (which acts as a life bar), strength (which governs how much your attacks hurt people), and proficiency levels with various attacks and weapons. Like many other beat-em-up games, enemies will drop weapons they’re using when you defeat them, and you can wield them afterwards, even throwing them at range. The thugs also drop money, varying in value depending on how tough they are. At intervals throughout the town, you are able to spend this cash in strip malls. There are both take-out and dine-in restaurants, where you can buy powerups in the form of food. Most food simply refills lost Stamina, but some of it also increases stats slightly. Of paramount importance are books, which are expensive but allow you to learn special techniques or improve your basic attacks. The need for these items leads to a form of “grinding,” not unlike certain RPGs, where you are wandering about, getting in fights for the money you’ll find.

Here is a short video of gameplay.

River City Ransom is well-known to gamers for its colorful and humorous nature. As you fight, messages appear across the bottom of the screen. When you enter an area, you’re told which gang controls it. When you KO an adversary, he usually has something to say about it.  Occasionally there is a cutscene, where dialog will be displayed across this area as well. The game’s graphics are standard for a late NES-era game, but what really shines visually is the animation and art style of the game. The violence is portrayed in a delightfully cartoonish fashion, all bugged-out eyes and motion lines. The sound effects aren’t anything to write home about, but the music is quite good; there aren’t many separate tracks, but what you hear is arranged with skill and dramatically appropriate. Have a listen below!

River City Ransom has been remade and ported a few times; notable among these is the remake for the Game Boy Advance, River City Ransom EX. This expansion upon the original game adds a great deal of configurable options and extra perks, as well as improved graphics and smoother controls. The general idea, however, is much the same. The original has also been released for download on the 3DS and the Wii, so a whole new generation of gamers can get in on the brutal action.

Perhaps not as widely known as its cousin Double Dragon, River City Ransom is nonetheless a notable title for its bold crossover into RPG-style gameplay. Other franchises and genres would experiment with this idea later in the history of video gaming, and those titles owe a nod to River City Ransom.