I love video games. If I didn’t, I’d be one miserable man writing these articles thrice a month, wouldn’t I? But another love of mine, every bit as deep, is a love for horror films. I especially love the monster films. I am of the old guard, those who maintain that the glory days of practical FX outshine the glossy, fake looking CGI seen in modern cinema. Work by pioneers like Tom Savini, Stand Winston, Kevin Yagher, and Chris Walas. 1984’s Gremlins, and to a lesser extent, its sequel, have always been favorites of mine due to the amazing creature work. They are also violent, funny, and well-produced movies. The idea of a horde of little reptilian humanoids wreaking havoc in the human world always fascinated me as a kid. I loved how mean (but funny) the titular monsters were, as well as the campy monster gore and gross-out FX… all the fluids and green goo.

I mean, who didn’t love shit like this? Cinema gold, man. Cinema gold.

I don’t write much about Atari 2600/5200 games because there’s rarely much substance to them, but there was actually a Gremlins game for both systems. Neither version is anything to write home about, unfortunately. However, the 1990 sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch got an NES game, and it represents the kind of treatment I wish the original film had gotten in video game format. Developed by Sunsoft, this top-scrolling action game was received better than any other attempt to translate the franchise to video games, at least up until that point. While other games based on Gremlins 2 were released by other companies for the ZX Spectrum, Atari, MSX, Amiga, and even DOS, none of them held much lasting appeal. Sunsoft’s effort went over pretty well, as the NES was still very popular and the film had been a hit due to its more kid-friendly setup compared to its predecessor.

In Gremlins 2, you play as Gizmo. Not Billy, not even Mr. Futterman… but Gizmo. Just like in the movie, you’ve been captured by the questionable researchers working for Clamp Enterprises. They’ve locked you in a cage in the lab, think of you as just another animal.

Their mistake.

The game simplifies the plot of the movie out of necessity, with the end goal being to reach the Gremlin Control Centre and wipe out the Gremlin infestation from the building. The beginning cutscene shows Billy setting you free, but then he takes sort of a background role.

Yeah, f*ck you too.

Gizmo hardly needs help anyway; he starts out armed with a truly lethal weapon… an unlimited supply of tomatoes. Hurling tomatoes at rats is the first thing you find yourself doing, but you soon run into tougher foes as you progress through the floors of the building.

A lot of the areas tie into scenes from the film, like this spooky little spot in the TV station level. 

It’s worth noting that there are also a lot of spikes, pits, and other obstacles… OSHA would have a field day with Clamp Enterprises for keeping their building like this. I mean, there are A LOT of floor spikes in this office building. I’m pretty sure the normal specs for office space dictate exactly zero (0) strips of mechanically pulsating floor spikes.

Definitely an unsafe work environment.

Another cinematic eventually shows Gizmo getting wet, his new “offspring” disposing of him (so they think) in the air vents. Once you fight your way out, you learn that history has in fact repeated itself… the Gremlins are back. From this point on, your enemies are predominantly Gremlins, in one form or another. The first major boss is Mohawk, who you tackle at the end of the second area (air vents); it is presumed he does not die, because, well, you’ve seen the movie, and his spider form shows up later in the game. He shows up one more time beforehand… with an automatic weapon.

Shit.

Double shit.

You battle flying Gremlins, disembodied Gremlin arms, rats, bats, genetically modified Gremlins, and a few things I can’t readily identify. Thankfully, Gizmo occasionally picks up new weapons (and eventually pieces together the paperclip and match stick bow seen in the film). Also, Mr. Wing occasionally sells you stuff to help you, which is kind of funny, because:

1) he dies in the beginning of the film

2) the manual for the game says he’s dead too

3) you enter his shop through Mogwai-sized doors throughout the building of the man who aggressively tried to buy him out before he died

Eh, video game logic, right? Besides, even if Mr. Wing is just a vengeful (and helpful) ghost, the life potions and other items he sells you are pretty useful. All he asks in return are the little crystal balls you keep picking up from defeated monsters. Some of the powerups you get have to be activated from the pause screen, which acts as a sort of inventory tally. Balloons are incredibly handy; since there are approximately 1,000,000 bottomless death pits in the Clamp Building, being able to float for a few seconds is pretty nice.

You can tell two things by Mr. Wing’s expression: he knows this is bullshit, and he’s not terribly upset about being dead.

The graphics are really cool, with some fantastic cutscenes that draw directly from the film’s memorable moments. The bosses are pretty creepy, especially Mohawk in his final form. As usual, Sunsoft went with a sort of “drab candy” color scheme for everything, making it seem gloomy but undeniably 80s/90s.

…triple shit.

The soundtrack is surprisingly good; as with Batman and Fester’s Quest, Sunsoft really stretched the boundaries of what could be done with the NES’s audio chipset. The music is equal parts spooky and goofy, but never lazy (as is the case with all too many movie cash-in games of the era).

I give Gremlins 2: The New Batch 6 stars out of 10. I like the game more because of the movie, but it’s not a bad game. It packs a decent challenge, looks and sounds great, and stands tall alongside Sunsoft’s other titles of the time period.

Goodbye for now, RetroFans! More goodies in the works for March and beyond!

When I was a little kid, I watched a lot of TV that was old. A lot of syndicated shows from the 1950s, 60s, onward. Nick at Nite, local stations, and The Family Channel all showed great TV from back then. Since I was also one of those gruesome little kids who loved monsters and horror, two shows really stood out for me: The Munsters, and (in my case) to a lesser extent… The Addams Family.

The two shows and their characters have continually ebbed and flowed in terms of retro-relevance and popularity since then, but The Addams Family has remained the more popular one overall. There were the films in the 90s, and if I recall, MC Hammer even wrote a hip hop song about them for one of those movies. A little before all that excitement, in 1989, Sunsoft produced a game with the license. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but Fester’s Quest was still a pretty cool game.  

The gruesomely cool box art. Really good likeness of Jackie Coogan. Drink it in, because it’s the most detailed representation of him you’ll see in the game.

Fester’s Quest is basically a re-skin of the overhead view portions from another game: Blaster Master (which I will cover at a later date on its own).  The game gets mixed reception, and is often cited as  difficult and a little clumsy, but it has its set of hardcore fans.  There’s a simple plot to the game, and it’s a bit left-field even for The Addams family; while moonbathing, Fester sees a UFO vacuum up the people of the city. He decides to take his gun and whip and put a stop to the alien invasion.

You know… because Fester was always carrying around a gun and a whip on the TV show.

The game plays a lot like you’d expect at first. Fester starts outside, and must wander about looking for powerups and keys while blasting little alien grunts. The keys open up buildings, most of which contain a boss. You have to do a sort of 3D-view walkthrough of a set of hallways in each one, but there are no enemies during that part; you just have to find the boss room and then survive the fight. Besides those buildings, Fester can also enter houses where another Addams Family member is waiting to give him a gift. There are also portions of the town that are separated from one another by barriers, and Fester must use the sewers (accessible by stairs, not manholes for some reason) to get from point A to point B. He must use collected light bulbs to illuminate these areas, or else it’s impossibly dark.

The manual’s brief overview of the enemies in the game.

Most of the rank-and-file baddies aren’t terribly headache inducing;  they can be a hassle if they show up in large groups or somehow get the jump on you, but once your gun is powered up enough, the minor aliens are just obstacles to be bypassed. It’s the bosses who can really put a hurt on Fester, and each one has a unique set of attacks to look out for. Many of them require your whip to be at maximum power.

The powerups you find can increase the strength of your gun and whip, but the red versions of them decrease their power. I’ve always hated games that mix in debuff powerups; I think it’s a cheap and cheesy way to penalize a player, and it adds an unnecessary “trap” element to an already difficult game. Fester also collects light bulbs, which are used to light up the sewers. If you’re wondering why there’s money all over the place, it’s for hot dog stands. Apparently when the aliens sucked up all the people, they left the humble hot dog vendors alone. 5 money units get you a hot dog that replenishes health, so I guess it’s fortunate the aliens weren’t interested in a steaming hot frank.

The gaming community is pretty down-the-line with Fester’s Quest; there’s a serious minority of people who really love the game, while most people find it annoyingly hard and even kind of stupid. I fall somewhere in between. I think it’s got potential as a good NES title with its decent graphics and sound, but I agree that parts of the game really do seem deliberately set up to kick your ass until you cry. As far as graphical depth goes, there’s varying amounts of detail. Some of the cinematics and stills are pretty nice, and when an Addams character is shown, they’re given enough effort and love that they are recognizable. The graphics during normal overhead play are pretty unexceptional, but it’s cool that they tried to add a little primitive 3D leading up to the boss fights (although this is still like doing a maze puzzle from the worst angle ever). What really saves Fester’s Quest for me is the music. I couldn’t find info on the composer, but the few tracks are actually very rich, as you’d expect from a Sunsoft title. The aboveground music is really catchy, and the sewer music is appropriately creepy and ominous.

I’m going to start treating these articles more like actual reviews, and start giving these games actual star ratings. I’d grant Fester’s Quest 5 stars out of 10. It’s a cool game in a few regards, notably its audio and visual suite, but it really lacks solid gameplay despite a seemingly complex dynamic.

If you’d like to watch someone blow through the game in a little under an hour, you can watch here.

Here is the manual for the game, lovingly preserved for posterity.

See you at month’s end, RetroManiacs!

In 1989, Warner Brothers released the blockbuster film, Batman. A merchandising storm ensued, with both movie-related and general Batman-themed items flying off shelves. Around this time, the NES was at the dizzying height of its popularity as a home console, and it only stood to reason that a game be made. DC Comics dropped the license to Sunsoft, and one of the NES’s better late-era games was the end result.

I’ve wanted to do a Sunsoft NES game for a while now, and I may eventually do all of them… but this one was the first Sunsoft title I recall playing as a youth. I always loved the company’s style of presentation; they often found ways to inject color and vibrance into even the most gritty, drab themes. Sunsoft is undeniably late 80s/early 90s to the core. Batman: the Video Game is no exception.

A watchful eye on Gotham City. A huge, looming, watchful eye. Massive and constantly staring at Gotham City. Damn, Batman, cut us some slack.

The game is loosely themed after the 1989 film, though prototype graphics show that this wasn’t initially a priority for the development team. In the end, it was mostly graphics that tied the game and the film together anyway; I don’t recall Batman fighting a flying beetle-man or two separate malevolent AIs in the film. All things considered, the basics are the same: you, as Batman, must stop the Joker from dominating Gotham City with his campaign of poison and terror. Batman must travel through the Axis Chemical Factory, an abandoned laboratory, and other locales to reach Joker atop the Cathedral for the final battle. The game plays similarly to many action platformers in most ways, but one function you will be using often is Batman’s wall-jump. I mean, you have to become PRECISE with this move to get through the mid to late stages. Well-timed wall-jumping can also be used to avoid harm from certain enemies perched in hard to reach places… while you make your way over to punch them to death. Half of the game’s respectable challenge is simply navigating a level without dying, and the enemies only play a part in that. There are plenty of static hazards you have to avoid touching, such as ooze, grinding gears, and electrified surfaces. Batman: the Video Game is challenging, but thankfully, as the Dark Knight, you’re prepared for the challenge.

Batman can not only punch (quite rapidly, in fact) but can also use 3 different weapons. He gets his trusty batarangs, a triple-shot “dirk,” and…a gun. I mean, it shoots little missiles, but it’s a gun. Didn’t Batman have a thing about guns?

Anyway, you’ll need these weapons, since Batman’s up against some pretty varied and tricky opponents. Your regular baddies include little spiky toaster-ovens, dudes who look kind of like French Legionnaires, ninjas, hopping giant mutants, very slow-walking androids with claws, and dudes who squat in place with flamethrowers. Fighting most of these enemies involves either careful timing or simple blitz tactics, depending on how they move and how far they can reach with their attacks. You’ll find bad guys posted on narrow ledges pretty often, and it will usually be while you’re trying to do the wall-jump to climb vertically. When you kill an enemy, you almost always get some kind of small reward; hearts give back health, the missile icons give you ammo for your weaponry, and the “B” icon just gives you 1000 points.

A sprite rip of most of the common enemies in the game. Found at www.spriters-resource.com

The bosses are as colorful as the array of underlings, and two of them are actually machines. The first boss you fight, right outside City Hall, is a flying fireball tosser who seems daunting until you realize you can just stand to one side of his blasts and then boomerang his stupid face when he swoops down toward you. Axis Chemical Factory contains the first of the two electronic bosses; Batman must first shut down its outer defenses before blasting away at its energy core. At the end of the underground level, you fight Electrocutioner, a mohawked Mad Max extra with a claw for one hand and a deadly lightning gun for the other. (It is worth noting that most of the bosses, including him, are based off actual minor villains in the comic books.) If you’re patient, you can literally get this guy to attack the wall while you nuke him from the other side of the room. Level 4 is an abandoned laboratory that ends in a fight against another robotic boss. This one is a bit more straightforward; Batman must defeat two large and very dangerous cubes that move about the room and try to destroy him.

Level 5, the Gotham Cathedral, has two bosses: Firebug and The Joker himself. Firebug looks and behaves a lot like someone you’d expect to see in Fist of the North Star, and his routine is a pretty scary pattern of anime jumps and massive fireballs. The Joker is, well… a joke. His elaborate strategy consists of shooting you, running away, and pointing to the sky to summon lightning bolts that you can avoid by standing about one arm-span away from him. Once you defeat Joker, you get to watch one of the coolest cut scenes I’ve seen outside of Ninja Gaiden.

Batman: the Video Game has some really cool graphics, which manage to be both colorful and suitably drab for the setting of Gotham City. The background graphics are especially good; while they are undeniably 8-bit, some of them, namely the first stage, look surprisingly realistic. There are also some truly delicious cut scenes; these loosely follow the film and add a good dramatic element to the whole experience. The music was composed by Naoki Kodaka, and it is probably my favorite part of the game. The title screen music is completely flat, but every other track makes up for it. The level music is all pretty rock & roll. It’s as intense as it should be. I particularly like how mean the boss music sounds, and I especially enjoy Level 4’s music.

There was also a game for the Sega Genesis, which most consider to the better game; it’s not only on a more advanced system, it stays much truer to the film. Eventually Sunsoft also released a sequel (of sorts) for the NES, Batman: Revenge of the Joker. I have taken a cursory look at it, and it’s not a terrible game… but it’s very silly. There have been a multitude of other games released during the Caped Crusader’s more prominent periods on TV and the big screen; to list them all here would not make for interesting reading. I will say, however, that most of the ones based on the later films… well, they suck just about as bad as those films did. 

When the newer series of Batman films began a few years back, there was an outcry among hardcore comic/Batman fans. This says more about how good the 1989’s Batman was than it does about the new series. As a kid who sat wide-eyed in the theater during the Batwing scene and the cathedral fight in the ’89 film, I can relate to the feeling that they did it right the first time around. I also poured a lot of hours into this game as a kid, and enjoyed it enough to surmount its considerable difficulty.

See you mid-month, RetroManiacs!

No car is as cherry as the 1989 Batmobile. Look at his face. He knows he’s fly as hell.