I’ve got another one for you from the Land of the Rising Sun, RetroFans… and oh, my stars and garters is it something. It’s a sizzling double-order of strange with a side of weird sexual stuff, heavily seasoned with Buddhist culture’s way more hardcore version of Hell than ours, and best of all… it’s Namco, so it’s also a pretty good game.

Yokai Dochuki is the fascinating story of a little boy who died and woke up in Jigoku, the Japanese Buddhist version of Hell. For the First couple of levels he carries a ghost with him, which he burps out before frantically praying at a shrine mere feet away as the ghost tears ass like she was the demons’ dad and they were playing with her power tools. Then he goes to see a VERY questionable mermaid show, peeps some pretty disappointing ogre tits, and finally has a chat with Buddha several stories above a lake of blood.

You know, let’s just start from a softer spot. This isn’t “jump in with both feet” shit.

In 1987, Namco had a fresh new deck of 16-bit arcade hardware called System 1, and they figured the best way to kick the tires was to go all-out on a domestic market platformer. Released in Japan in April of ’87, Yokai Dochuki (which literally translates to “Phantom Travel Journal,” a really casual label for a child’s jaunt through Hell) entered history as Namco’s very first 16-bit arcade platform game. While we never got it here in the Western world (and probably would have been aghast at some of the content), the game was reasonably popular among its domestic audience. Despite the fact that everything’s in Japanese and I have exactly zero idea what the fuck is happening ever, I really enjoy playing the PC Engine version I’ve been lucky enough to access. Yokai Dochuki is pretty challenging, and it boasts some really cool little bells and whistles considering its 1987 development/release. I found it completely by accident, but ended up learning a few things about Japanese culture, video game history… and sadly, what an ogre’s boobs look like.

Let’s talk about Jigoku for a second. It turns out that since Buddhism spread throughout Asia from Nepal and the Indian Subcontinent, “Jigoku” (地獄) is just the Japanese name for the Buddhist concept of Hell. Its original name in Sanskrit is “Naraka,” and it’s a huge set of horrible places. It’s not permanent like Christian Hell, but it still sucks big time. A soul also isn’t sent there due to judgment or punishment, but because of “accumulated karma.” So really, a being could wind up there seemingly randomly upon death… just like poor little Tarosuke has!

Fortunately for him, he can pretty much Hadoken at will, and when he’s first finding his Hell legs he walks around with a pet ghost tucked away. When confronted with a powerful demon, Tarosuke shouts something I don’t understand, and then the ghost flies into his mouth and he burps it back out. I’m not sure why that extra step is necessary, but no one seems the worse for it. While this ghost (which appears to be a little girl) whips the ever loving hot shit out of entire gangs of oni, Tarosuke waddles over to a shrine that’s conveniently just a few feet away.

Look at him. It’s 11 AM and he’s already in Hell and three sheets to the wind. He’s gonna get ghost juice all over this guy’s floor.

This type of showdown only happens twice (I think). Mostly it’s just you, Tarosuke, navigating the landscape of screaming living corpses and huge floppy-headed wizard dudes while you try to find the Buddha to have a chat. Again, I stress that my understanding of the spaces between is very limited due to the language barrier, but like most video games worth playing, you have to make a few stops first.

There’s also a store that shows up at the start of a few stages, where an old woman who just runs a shop in Hell will sell sake to a little kid. You can buy something early on that’s pretty useful: there’s an item that looks like the Black Lagoon creature’s foot, and it reduces the amount that water impedes your movement. Most of what the old woman sells seem to be life bar insurance items; that is to say, you auto-use them when you’re about to die and they pump a little gas into your tank. But yes, it seems that in Jigoku, just like in a real hustla’s life, only two things truly matter… money and power.

You’re either about that life… or you ain’t.  Or you’re n Hell and you’re a little kid. Whatever.

Yokai Dochuki actually has five endings, only two of which are remotely happy. The worst one has you end up staying right in Hell where you’re at. There’s also Hungry Ghoul World, which might sound cool to some of you horror hounds, but I want to stress that IT’S A WHOLE WORLD OF THAT SHIT, ALL THE TIME. Beast World is the ending I can reliably get, where you turn into sort of a pig-type creature that is content living in its own filth and eating almost anything. Since this most closely mirrors my actual real-life adult lifestyle, I am proud of my ability to reliably send Tarosuke there so we can be friends forever. One of the good endings has you waking up at your own funeral… and it kind of looks like they dressed you up like Princess Zelda. (I realize I’m probably being boorishly ignorant of East Asian funeral customs, but seriously, you even have a little Triforce tiara.)

Either way, it’s kind of like looking into a mirror.

To get to any of those endings, you’ve got to find Buddha. It’s what you do along the way that helps or hurts you. For instance, I know that to get one of the two happy endings, you can’t kill any enemies on Level 5. At some point early on you get a chance to gamble with some frogs and a zombie. Apparently, even though I think this is extremely fucking dope, Buddha does not.

Rock solid truth: Hell is just gangsta shit 24/7 and the scene is so Mad Max down here even Buddha gettin’ mad sendin’ high rollers to Beast World and shit.

In one of the last stages along the shittier path to reaching the Enlightened One, you have to go get… something from some lady who lives underwater. You ride a turtle down there, and she gives you some carnival barker routine… and then, in possibly the unsettling moment in the game, a set of pre-pubescent mermaids take the stage topless and shake their shit… MUCH TO TAROSUKE’S PRURIENT DELIGHT. To the point where HE CAN’T HELP FREQUENTLY LOOKING BACK AT YOU, THE PLAYER, TO SEE IF YOU’RE GETTING A LOAD OF THIS. I won’t comment further, it’s really not that bad in the grand scheme of things… but still, why does it have to be there? It makes that one level worse than anything in Splatterhouse.

They say that Hell is the impossibility of reason.

In another late level, you meet a grape-colored ogre woman who… has not aged well, and who has become the proud surrogate mother of an alarming number of crows. She wiggles, glances around, and mumbles while her crows look at you like you just got off the boat.

I will always hate birds in any video game because birds in video games simply thrive on defying all common sense in order to utterly destroy you. And yes. I saw them. Now you “get” to see them. JOURNALISM IN ACTION!

Don’t anthropomorphize crows at all. All you get is smarter, smugger crows.

After all these trials and tribulations, you finally ascend about a half-mile into the black sky above a neatly-contained lake/pool/whatever of blood. Apparently that’s where Buddha likes to chill and reflect on enlightenment… on a cloud structure that looks like a wobbly cat jungle gym teetering over Hell’s version of the hotel pool. If you were good (it’s fucking hard to be good in Hell), you go to Titty-Heaven or back to your weird family. If not, you get royally chumped or just turned into a pig. At least as the pig, it looks like you have a girlfriend or something, which is better than anything called Hungry fucking Ghoul World.

You’re on some Dr. Seuss set prop suspended above a gigantic stone bowl of hot blood, asking Buddha if he minds you clocking out of your karmic torment a few eons early since you’re a little kid. Moments of silence pass before he calmly condemns you to Hungry Ghoul World. The worst part? You know he made up his mind in the beginning and made you stand there just because he thought it was funny. And it was.

Ports were released for Japan’s Famicom and PC Engine systems in 1988. Once again, the Western world was left out of Namco’s bizarre yet well crafted piece of video game history. Later years not only saw Tarosuke show up in things like the PS2 game Namco X Capcom, but also saw Yokai Dochuki released for the Wii Virtual Console… yet again, Japan only.

PC Engine (left) and Famicom versions. The Famicom version includes a “Pious” counter so you can actively see how screwed you are. Being the angel-born miracle machine it is, the PC Engine clearly wins out on presentation… but both versions lose surprisingly little of the original feel.

Theories abound as to why the game never made it over here. One of my favorite ones is that it contains shit like the overt sexualization of children (even if those children are cartoon mermaids) and is also set exclusively within a very culture-specific concept that 9 out of 10 of us Westerners would have scratched our head at in the 1980s. It wasn’t until later that just over half of our young people would try so hard to be Japanese that it posed a potential safety risk. I digress; other theories insist that there WAS a version in the works for the English world, to be released on the American/Euro versions of the same two consoles. If you’re into emulation and you look around, there is a very good unofficial translation that goes by the name it’s suggested was planned for the Western cart… “Shadowland.”

Screaming crowds of damned souls; huge bean-headed mutant wizards; a giant woman who doesn’t seem to mind at all that you’ve invited yourself to bath time; the five-thousand dollar cat that was made using Granny’s refurbished Girl Scouts stem cell kit.

From a purely technical, play-the-video-game-you-pansy standpoint, Yokai Dochuki is pretty amazing. In 1987, it had a surprisingly open-ended play experience and was quite involved for an arcade title. It’s fun to play, and once you get the hang of how Tarosuke does his stuff it’s easy to wheel around and look like a badass. A lot of the enemies are creepy as shit; there’s a couple different beef-jerky skeleton dudes and a lot of monsters that are just horrible faces that float. Your environment changes a lot, and there’s not much downtime as you travel across Hell. The music is absolutely addictive, and I’m actually listening to a YouTube video of the main theme as I type. Graphically, Yokai Dochuki is everything a 16-bit heavy hitter should be. It’s colorful, detailed, and it conveys itself well as something that’s supposed to be both creepy and humorous.

I could just do without the mermaid child exploitation and the ogre tits, is all. Here’s the soundtrack!

Thanks for taking another walk to Japan with me, folks. We’ll have more for you in May, and as usual, if you’d like to ask me something or tell me about something I should write about, you can reach me via email or the NRW Gaming Facebook page.

Remember… when you’re going through Hell, keep going. Otherwise you might get turned into a horny, gluttonous pig.

Since the Internet and emulation have become prevalent in gamers’ lives (especially mine), I’ve had plenty of moments when I’ve been exposed to something that never left Japan and thought, “you know, this would have really done well in the West. It’s a shame we’ll never know because they didn’t try.” Import retro gaming and emulation has always been a super-niche aspect of the hobby, a place where the mystical ley-lines of japanophilia and completionism cross at a right angle. Some people are so devoted to the cult that they translate ROMs and keep lovingly curated translations of the games’ plots and stories. Characters and worlds unheard of outside Japan have slowly gained life in the West as the Information Age has taken hold and rendered localization a mere formality.

Which is great, because otherwise I’d probably never have gotten to play Valkyrie no Densetsu.

I won’t say how I got a hold of the English translated ROM for the PC Engine/Turbo Grafx 16 version, but I will say that if you join the right forum on the right popular emulation website, you can probably find it if you look around. I was overjoyed to find it, as I’d seen bits of the original Japanese source material and even had an untouched ROM… but I won’t pretend I’m able to read Japanese in any form. Any discussion among hardcore PC Engine or Namco fans was likely to bring up the character of Valkyrie; I was intrigued to the point that I started hunting down an English translation. Apparently a decent official one exists on a PlayStation compilation disc called Namco Museum Vol 5, but PlayStation’s a little past what we cover here. My best hope was a translated ROM of the arcade or PC Engine version. I found the latter after extensive looking, and was not disappointed.

Kurino and Valkyrie bravely fend off flying mandrills. Clearly, Valkyrie’s not even worried. I mean, the weather’s nice out, she’s being launched through the sky somehow… this is a great day. She doesn’t even have time for this shit to drag her down.

As it turns out, Valkyrie no Densetsu (Legend of Valkyrie) is part of a series of games. Its prequel, Valkyrie no Boken: Toki no Kagi Densetsu (Adventure of Valkyrie: Legend of the Key of Time) was released for the Famicom in 1986 and became very popular in Japan. It contained several RPG elements that would later be matched by games like Dragon Quest/Warrior, but also bore a striking similarity in some ways to Legend of Zelda. It wasn’t a hit overnight, but it gained popularity due to its characters and story. What’s most important in the context of this article is that Valkyrie makes a friend during this first quest: a chubby little lizard dude named Kurino Sandra (sometimes called Whirlo in US-release Namco products). He would go on to feature prominently in the plot of Valkyrie no Densetsu in 1989.

In the spotty prologue of Valkyrie no Densetsu, Kurino Sandra has been living peacefully at home since the events of the prequel, but hears about a golden seed that can grant wishes. He decides to go on a quest for it alone, as Valkyrie has ascended back into the heavens. In the process, Sandra finds a magical trident embedded in a block of solid gold.

Just… right there. Among some rocks. No one ever noticed it or bothered with it. Certainly not the head-sized block of pure gold it’s stuck in. Congratulations, Kurino!

He and some companions from the first game end up in a ruined town near a clock tower, and are confronted by a powerful warrior in service to some jerk named Kamuz. Of course, this results in a violent confrontation unfavorable to Kurino and his friends, but what do you know? Having seen the strife caused by the golden seed, the heavens have seen fit to send Valkyrie down once more.

One player or two, this is where the game picks up. The eight stages take you across a wide swathe of the world of Marvel Land (no authoritative source confirms or denies this being related to the Genesis title of that name produced by Namco), from meadows and forests to lava caves and lands of ice. After exhaustive comparison, I can’t see any real difference in mechanical game function between Valkyrie and Kurino; both of them jump the same, cast spells (yes, cast spells) the same, and shoot energy bolts out of their weapons. It’s all a matter of aesthetics. The game is top-down but contains plenty of jump-hazards, so mastering the distance and timing of that jump is essential. Battling small crowds of low-tier enemies isn’t too hard; in fact, it’s pretty fun. The control response is good, and you just point and click. The spells you learn (see below) can do things like turn you bigger and stronger, create whirls of flame, allow you to float in midair, and even summon little versions of yourselves to help deal out punishment. (This last one is actually called “Option Magic,” a reference to similar abilities in various shoot-em-up games.) Health and magic power are both measured with little icons, and the game is generous enough to use half-units as an increment.

Waiting for the duo are ogres, goblins, robots, and various kinds of boss monsters, some of whom are so large that the screen has to zoom out a little to let you fight them. Most non-boss monsters aren’t too dangerous individually or in small groups, but seeing as Valkyrie no Densetsu is originally an arcade title, the swarm effect will be noticeable at regular intervals. Most enemies drop gold in varying amounts, which makes one wonder just what to do with all the loot earned through righteous murder.

Thankfully, A merchant, an old lady, and a little girl are constantly hanging around these dangerous places with the intent of doing business with you (or just giving you shit). The little girl usually just has story items, but the old woman teaches you some bad-ass spells and the merchant guy sells you some useful stuff (including shooter-style power-ups).

From a scan of the Japanese manual for the PC Engine version. 

The game’s soundtrack is pretty good, the obvious best example being the arcade version. The prologue and main theme music are what I’d call “charming” if I were pretending not to like them as much as I do; they’re adorable, uplifting, and delightful. For a game so grand in overall scale, it’s unfortunate there isn’t more there, but what IS there is a wonderful fit for the theme.

Valkyrie no Densetsu clearly exhibits hybrid traits; it is both a top-down “platform” game and a less-than-conventional shooter when held to examination. Larger-than-life bosses, an involved yet approachable in-game economy, and stage features like catapults you must use to get from area to area are just some of the game’s appealing side-dressing. It’s no wonder Valkyrie no Densetsu made it to the PC Engine in 1990, taking a tiny hit in graphics and sound but retaining the bulk of its charm and playability. The Wii Virtual Console released a fairly faithful version of the original in 2009 (after emulating the PC Engine version the year before). As mentioned before, 1997 saw the release of the only official English translation on a PS1 disc called Namco Museum Vol 5, but I’m told the disc was (and is) both rare and expensive. The saga of Marvel Land’s heroes continued with a Kurino-centered entry for the Super Famicom in 1992, which did see release in Europe as Whirlo, but was drastically different from previous games in the series. Valkyrie herself has made various cameos in other Namco franchises: in the Mr. Driller series; in Soul Calibur II as an alternate costume for Cassandra; and as a relative staple in the company’s Tales of… franchise.

Screenshots from the English fan translation of the PC Engine version.

It really makes me wonder what heights she could have reached if she’d ever been let loose in the West. To most gamers, she’s just one of those characters in Namco vs Capcom that you’ve never heard of.

But if you’re a real blood-in member of the cult of retro gaming, you know who she is. At least, you do now. You’re welcome.

Thanks for reading, and I’ll be back in March with more! As usual, feel free to email me or visit the page on Facebook if you have feedback, questions, or (best of all) a juicy game you think I should hear about.

When we were kids, and we first beheld the wonder of console video games, the entire thing would sometimes seem like one huge river – no, an ocean is more appropriate. One deluge of games would be released, then another, and we’d still be tackling the first. Then here, a whole new system, and there, crazy new peripherals we never even knew we wanted (but we wanted them). It was like we could never run out of choices. The best (but perhaps most bewildering) part: we were duplicating a primary cycle that was approximately 3 years ahead of us in Japan, where all (most) of this stuff was getting made. One thing most of us were guilty of, though, at least until we were older, was that we’d make strong mental associations with the games and characters, but maybe not the great companies creating them. Now, as a grown-ass man writing about video games three times a month, I try to explore what I clearly missed as a child… the mostly unsung sagas of these companies, some of whom came from humble beginnings and seemingly faded away without the public noticing.

Hudson Soft is a tale that begins with Hiroshi and Yuji Kudo. In May of 1973, they opened a simple shop called CQ Hudson, which sold radio equipment and also had some nice art photographs. You know, stop in for a transistor, get a nice shot of the ocean for your mom as a gift. It’s worth noting that the company was named after a train, specifically the Japanese C62 which had been produced originally by Hudson Locomotives. Japan saw a lot of railway growth after the Second World War, which was when the Kudo boys were coming up.

The post-war choo choo that inspired two young Japanese boys to innovate and entertain.

Things went well for the Kudo brothers, and in 1975, they began selling products for personal computers. Around ’78, Hudson began inching into video games. At first, the firm was putting out around 25-30 titles a month, which sounds impossible; given the simplicity of the platforms in that era, however, it was far from it. Needless to say, this clone-vat approach bore only modest fruit, so Hudson leaped at the opportunity when given a shot a developing for Nintendo’s new Family Computer. Let me re-phrase that: Hudson strode confidently into video game history by becoming Nintendo’s FIRST third-party developer. They immediately met with strong success; both their port of Lode Runner and their self-conceived game Bomberman sold over 1 million copies. Bomberman had been released previously for Microsoft’s Japan-geared MSX computer, and Broderbund had done well with Lode Runner in the US and Europe, but the Famicom was the desired platform and the timing was just right.

Two titles that solidified Hudson Soft’s position in the top tier.

From its new office in Midtown Tower in Tokyo, Hudson continued to carve a place for itself in video game history. Starting in 1985, the company began doing something we wouldn’t even think of until the early 1990s: tournament-style video game competitions. Their first one revolved around the Hudson title Star Force in Summer of ’85; its sequel Star Soldier was used in ’86 and even had 2 and 5 minute modes built into its home version to reflect its status as a competitive game. These remarkable yearly events, which took a much less competitive tone after 1992, solidified Hudson Soft’s notoriety and popularity at home.

In 1987, Hudson teamed with NEC to create perhaps the greatest dark-horse console of the 20th Century: The PC Engine. Known in the West as the Turbo Grafx 16. I’ve already written a love letter to that console, so I’ll spare you the gushing… but it’s important to remember a few things. With this platform, Hudson Soft beat both Nintendo and Sega at a few things. The PC Engine set the record at the time for the smallest console. It also achieved graphically what the Mega Drive did, except almost three years earlier. Lastly, the portable version of the PC Engine wasn’t using its own pared-down set of games. This wasn’t some wrap-it-up Game Boy shit. It was using the same media as its mother system. It did this five years before Sega could pull off the same thing by producing the Nomad. There’s more to how awesome the PC-Engine is, but you’d be better served by reading my original article.

You’re not losing a whole lot visually, either.  Sorry, I just like rubbing this in because so many Sega partisans tend to studiously overlook it.

Other memorable titles from Hudson Soft (many of which saw multi-platform release) were Starship Hector, the Adventure Island series, Faxanadu, Milon’s Secret Castle, and my two favorites of theirs… Jackie Chan’s Action Kung Fu and Felix the Cat.

Hudson Soft’s main bank collapsed during a financial crisis around the turn of the millennium, driving the firm to offer itself on the Japanese stock market. To speed up a sad and tedious tale, Konami bought majority stock in Hudson; the two companies had worked amicably with each other since the early 80s and Konami sought to help give lift to the tired bee’s wings. Hudson still self-published until 2011-2012, when Konami bought what was left and absorbed it into itself. The final vestiges of Hudson Soft vanished in 2014, when its website began redirecting to Konami’s. Officially, the Hudson brand still exists, but it is part of Konami Digital Publishing.

The Hudson Bee about to be taken down from over the firm’s original HQ in Sapporo, 2/29/12.

I tell myself sometimes (And I’m sure someone reading this will laugh at me) that I’m helping preserve and curate history when I write articles like this. I know it’s not terribly significant stuff to the world at large, but it is to me… and to any gamer who likes knowing where things started. Thank you, Kudo Brothers. Thank you for starting a radio parts shop in 1973 and naming it after a train.

Thank you for everything.

More in February! Take care until then!

Naxat Soft (which eventually became known as Kaga Create before becoming defunct in 2015) was a big swingin’ tent pole in the late 1980s in Japan. During this time, they would earn a reputation for producing some insane titles, many of which were made for Hudson’s PC Engine. Many of you will remember my rant earlier this year about how cool that console was… the one we came to know as the Turbo Grafx 16. You may even remember my prominent mention of a pair of completely bonkers pinball sims…

The first to hit shelves was Alien Crush, Developed by Naxat and Compile in 1988 and released for the PC Engine. The game is fairly simple and straightforward; you’re playing pinball. The interesting twist is that you’re playing pinball inside some kind of bio-mechanical alien amalgam, simultaneously trying to defeat it. The main pinball area is divided into two screens, and when your ball goes from one to another the screen will go blank for a moment. This can be disorienting, but I quickly got used to it. There are also a handful of bonus screens, which you access by getting your ball to land certain places. You can “beat” Alien Crush, but it takes a while… longer than I have patience for. It’s still a lot of fun to just play it like a regular pinball game though, and see how high you can get your score.

A couple of the bonus stages seem more “Spooky cartoon haunted house” themed, but what the hell. We’re playin’ pinball here, not putting on a Hollywood production.

Two years later, Naxat followed up with Devil Crash (Devil’s Crush outside of Japan) for the same system. This pinball epic was themed much differently, and is often considered the more memorable because of it; Devil’s Crush features prominent and unabashed occult/horror imagery. To phrase that differently, Devil’s Crush is metal as hell. A few improvements were made to the concept visually and play-wise, most notably that the main play area’s three divisions scroll as one image when your ball moves through them. There are also many more things to do; plenty of little monster men to smash, just as many (if not more) bonus screens to find, and a woman’s face that gradually wakes up and turns into a horrid reptilian monster as you drop into certain point-spots.

Oh shit, here we go!!!

The picture of elegance, charm, and sophistication.

As evidenced by any screenshot or gameplay video you watch, these games have amazing graphics for the time. The music for both is astounding, and has in fact been reproduced in non-VG format. I particularly like the track “Lunar Eclipse” from Alien Crush, as well as its main title theme, and I consider Devil’s Crush‘s main table theme to be the best music out of the two games.

Devil Crash was released for the Mega Drive and Genesis; its title in America was changed to Dragon’s Fury, since our Protestant sensibilities have for so long found horrible fire-breathing dragons far more tolerable than old Scratch. A sequel to that game, Dragon’s Revenge, was produced for the MD/Genesis in 1993, but went largely ignored for no good reason. It is a passable game, but a far cry from these originals.

“Yeah, the American MD/Genesis port? I don’t care. Farm it out to those guys who used to be Atari before Atari shit the bed with the lights on…. WHAT? They’re calling it Dragon’s Fury? Hahahaha, those Americans are vanilla as hell. The check cleared though, right?”

I gladly grant both of these titles a 9 out of 10. Visual/virtual pinball is something you see weave its way in and out of popularity through the time period, with games like Crue Ball and even Sonic Spinball; I feel that the Crush Pinball pair of titles loom over all as the sometimes unsung rulers of the roost.

Keep your eyes peeled for shrieks & creaks & some other spooky shit (all retro VG related, of course) as we wrap up September and get into September’s cooler cousin, October!!!

BONUS: If you read this far, here’s a treat! Here’s me rocking at Alien Crush and here’s me sucking ass at Devil Crash.

]]> https://newretrowave.com/2016/09/15/alien-crushdevils-crush-19881990-naxat-soft/feed/ 0 https://newretrowave.com/2016/07/28/pc-engineturbografx-16-greatness-weirdness-in-the-fourth-generation/ https://newretrowave.com/2016/07/28/pc-engineturbografx-16-greatness-weirdness-in-the-fourth-generation/#respond Thu, 28 Jul 2016 11:07:21 +0000 http://new-retro-wave.com/2016/07/28/2016728pc-engineturbografx-16-greatness-weirdness-in-the-fourth-generation/

When I was a kid in the late 80s and early 90s, I’d occasionally see a system advertised on TV and in magazines that wasn’t the SNES or the Genesis. It was a thin, matte-black affair that used archaic-looking cards instead of cartridges. Its graphics appeared to be right up there with its more popular rivals, and in fact it seemed to eclipse them in terms of capability. This incredible system was called the TurboGrafx 16, and I used to wonder why more people didn’t talk about it or have one. Eventually, it faded from the foreground of the gaming world, as the Sega CD, 32X, and eventually a whole new generation of consoles came to be. As I grew, and as time continued to pass, I’d always wonder… “what was the TurboGrafx 16 like?”

Two days ago, I got a chance to dive into not only its history, but its game library… a set of titles with surprising variety and amazing vibrancy. I have seen the 512 colors of the rainbow, and nothing looks the same now. I’ve seen wonderful, horrifying, and strange things.

♪ like a fool / I fell in love with you / you turned my whole world upside down ♪ seriously, I’ve gotten very little sleep since gaining access to this thing.

Needless to say, I’m a huge fan now. I want to tell you all I can. Let’s do this!

A Challenger Appears

In 1987, Hudson Soft partnered with NEC to spring a new system on the domestic market. They called it the PC Engine, and it was arguably the first of its kind: a 16 bit home console with graphics and sound rivaling the arcade. The beast’s CPU was still 8-bit, but that’s splitting hairs. The PC Engine boasted 16 bit processors for both its sound and its graphics. In its original Japanese form, the console was around 5 inches square and a little over an inch and a half thick… meaning, at the time, it held the record for the smallest home console ever. That’s a lot of power in such a tiny package. Keep in mind that this is in 1987. The NES had been released only two years prior, and the Mega Drive wouldn’t be around until October of ’88. Sunsoft and NEC had achieved alchemy. To add a final uppercut to the battle in the Japanese market, they released a CD ROM attachment two months after the Mega Drive was released… the first one ever on a home gaming console.

It’s so f**king cute.

Wait, guys… I lied. One last ball buster. Guess who also released the first fully portable console that used the same media as its plug-in-the-wall progenitor?

That’s right… five whole years before the Sega Nomad.

In the summer of 1989, the PC Engine was given a slight makeover and dropped on the US like a bomb… that bomb’s name was TurboGrafx 16. The system and its games were initially a huge hit, especially on the West coast, and among the hardcore gamers of the time; the true cultists and curators, the devoted.

Let’s talk about the games… There are so many worth mentioning, but I’ll touch on the brightest and best.

Lunatic Weird-Ass Pinball Games I Can’t Stop Playing

It gets worse. And better.

Alien Crush and Devil’s Crush are pretty legendary entries in the PC Engine game library. With minor changes, they made it to US Shores and fascinated players. They feature bizarre, phantasmagorical graphics as well as eerie music that seems absolutely appropriate.

A woman’s face gradually morphs into that of a hideous reptile. Bonus stages include space worms and a trio of bug-eyed undead faces. You get points for smashing little demons with the silver ball and firing it into the mouths of nightmarish beasts. The entire experience is enthralling, and I’ve already poured hours into both games.

About Twenty Million Shooters

Gradius was released for the PC Engine, and that version is considered one of the better ones. Its sequels saw release for the system as well, and were similarly beautiful games. In addition, about one metric ton of shoot em up games were produced for the console if you count both international and Japan-only titles. Hyper Dyne Side Arms is a pretty innovative one, and the infamous Zero Wing was also a hit in Japan. The genre is one of my favorites (and one of few types of game I’m actually decent at), so I was thrilled to see the huge library of shooters. I’m still picking through them, and will be for a while.

Gradius 2, Image Fight, R-Type, and Hyper Dyne Side Arms, four of roughly a billion shooters for the PC Engine/TurboGrafx 16.

The Only Easily Available Version of Splatterhouse We Had for a Long Time

I’ve written about Splatterhouse before. It’s amazing, gory, violent, scary, and it’s a masterpiece. It was ported to this system early after its arcade release, with very minor changes. The USA didn’t get a ton of Splatterhouse arcade cabinets, but we did get the TG-16 port and all the mayhem that came with it. Sure, his mask is red. Sure, some of the upside-down crosses and other stuff are removed. It’s still the same game, and it still came with a warning that excited you and scared your parents. It wasn’t until the “modern” era of gaming that a lot of us were exposed to the original article, well after we’d seen the entertaining but visually watered-down sequels on Genesis.

Lower left hand corner. It’s a cleverly phrased version of “I dare you, kid.”

I Am Not Kidding About the Game Called Toilet Kids

A Japanese title, Toilet Kids involves a magical journey through a land filled with (made of?) poop.

The Adventure Begins!!!

I’m going to let some pictures speak for themselves, and I’m going to let you plumb further (pun intended) if you’re curious. It’s a shoot em up, you fly on a toilet I think, and you dogfight with all kinds of crazy dook monsters. The graphics and sound are incredible… I’ve never witnessed cartoon turds so vividly, nor have I wanted to.

From the Japanese manual.

I’d hang out on a cloud too if I lived in an entire kingdom made of shit.

So Why Didn’t It Make the Grade?

Initially, it did! The original console sold well in Japan, as did the handful of peripherals and add-ons. The American market had a few complaints, though: Firstly, while the games were awesome, there weren’t many of them by well-known third parties like Konami, Capcom, etc. and a lot of popular titles got passed over for a TG-16 port. On a related note,the first-party games that made it across the Pacific to us often seemed… weird to the mainstream video gamer. They were ultimately better suited to the Japanese market. Another common gripe was the controller. It seemed outdated with its 2 buttons when compared to its contemporary rivals in the USA. All in all, while critics praised the game library in objective terms, the whole affair just seemed out of phase.

eh, okay. I see what you mean about the whole controller thing… but then, my thumbs get lost on an xbox pad. give me this any day.

Why You Should Still Have a Look if You Get a Chance

This system, this revolutionary little machine, broke the door down and hardly gets credit for it today. It fired the first round in what became one of the most amazing market battles in gaming history… the classic console wars we all remember from that era. The PC Engine deserves its place in retro gaming history, and any true student of the subject will take a good look.

To quote a certain bowler-wearing hoodlum, viddy well.

Dengeki PC Engine, August 1994 issue.

Oh… and stay retro. 😉

]]> https://newretrowave.com/2016/07/28/pc-engineturbografx-16-greatness-weirdness-in-the-fourth-generation/feed/ 0