ITS THAT FUCKING BAAAAAAG AGAAAAAAIIIIIN

The entire early to mid 90s period was one of fierce competition. Companies competed to release successful games and dominate genres. A new burst of energy hit arcades as new cabinets and innovative titles went head to head for commercial success. I dare say the most pitched battle was at home; the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo Entertainment System locked horns for years for dominance of your living room TV set.

This often involved titles that were released for both platforms, since game developers and publishers were none too shy about exploiting the rivalry for more sales. Exclusivity was still occasionally a thing, but during the Genesis/SNES war, if you wanted a shot at big returns, it was out there if your game had enough hype behind it; just license it for both consoles and let both sets of partisans enjoy your work.

Today’s grab bag will take a look at a few of these games, some of which may have come down from the arcade palaces in port form, and some of which were developed just for console play. I kept it at 3, like I usually do for these articles, but narrowing it down was hard. Here’s three that stand out to me as typical of the era – colorful, far-flung, and even bizarre.

NBA Jam

Midway/Acclaim

1993 (Arcade),1994 (consoles)

In 1994, the Amusement & Music Operators Association reported that NBA Jam was the highest-earning arcade game of all time. It was a formula based (at least loosely) off of a previous Midway game, Arch Rivals, but utilizing the power and vibrancy of the Arcade Renaissance to give it new life and appeal.

I’m not even that big into basketball (I will sometimes watch UNC or Duke games with my family, but to me the family part far outstrips the hoops), and I love NBA Jam. However, I got familiar with it through the Genesis port. You don’t NEED to care a lick about basketball to enjoy it. It’s an extremely approachable setup, and once you figure out how the game works, it’s pretty damn fun whether you’re winning or losing. Imagine a 2 on 2 game with no ref and minimal rules. Shit gets raw out there.

Double clothesline. Classic basketball move.

My distinct memory of both versions (a neighbor had the SNES port) was unlocking goofy or cool alternate characters using the initials-entry screen as a password of sorts. You could get President Clinton, retired legends, mascots, or you could just do shit like make everyone’s heads big. It was secondary to the action, though; between the shoving, dodging, going hard in the paint, and even risky long-shots, this was some high-octane basketball. Both ports of the game got rave reviews just like their arcade daddy, and for good reason. With digitized speech and faithful graphics, both were excellent translations to home gaming from the arcade floor.

RoboCop vs Terminator

Virgin Games

1993 (SNES/Game Gear), 1994 (Genesis/Game Boy)

The logo looked like it could be on the bottom of a sneaker. Don’t get me wrong. I’d have worn those fucking sneakers. Who wouldn’t?

The idea of it is pure magic. I mean, both of these franchises, on their own, had done amazing in terms of draw and earning power. Why not combine them?

Well, I won’t take a dump on this game (either version) like a lot of its contemporary reviewers did, but I will say this: RoboCop vs Terminator was definitely a mixed bag. On the one hand, everything’s digitized or high-quality in some way. There’s a gruesome but tolerable level of blood and gore. It is pretty cool to play as RoboCop and wield a variety of lasers and flamethrowers against the enemy Terminators and gangsters. At least, while the game is still fresh.

The game has its appeal. It definitely picks up a second wind when you finally get to where you’re fighting T-800s as your main enemy instead of a slew of heterogeneous 90s gang members.

What keeps me from really loving it? Well, let’s start with how RoboCop (naturally) is as agile as a toddler wearing full riot gear, and is constantly assailed by walls of projectiles and other barely-avoidable hazards on a regular (read: constant) basis. For instance, RoboCop can fly up a ladder at a speed that boggles the mind, but walks and jumps as if his entire lower body is weighed down like a full diaper and he’s afraid to smush any of it together. Embarrassing, Murphy.

Then there’s Tommy Tallarico’s really strange techno-industrial-hip-hop score, which sounds to me like it belongs in some terrifying HR Giger porno film about virtual reality drug dealers or something. Some tracks are even downright grating, not even like Gnaw Their Tongues or other bands in that vein; this music is trying to be music but becomes harsh noise because it’s so smashed into itself.

So like I said, the game’s extremely half-and-half for me. I can’t seem to hate it, but there’s only so much to love. I reluctantly assert that the Genesis version has slightly “cleaner” sound, but that only helps so much.

Earthworm Jim

Shiny Entertainment

1994

Don’t worry. I love this one as much as you do. I have no plans to rip it up in front of you.

The game started out as an idea at Playmates Toys. They’d made so much money selling TMNT toys that they figured starting their own franchise could make them even more. Out the business-end comes a game that not only beautifully parodies its own genre, but innovates in ways that have become standard in platformers since.

This was exactly when I knew I was dealing with a legendary game.

Earthworm Jim is creativity set loose. It is quality on the level of late Apogee PC games for me: irreverent, loose, funny, dynamic, and outside-the-box. Jim has a cool set of moves and tricks at his disposal as an earthworm in an experimental suit, and he can use them to solve the often compounded problems you face on each level. Many of the tropes of formulaic video games are both utilized and mocked, but the focus is the gameplay. The race minigame is intense enough to be its own game, and no two levels present you with the same challenge. In 1994 it was a delight not to know what to expect at all from this game when we sat down to play it. And Tallarico even made up for some other work with a score that didn’t confuse and terrify me. At least, not in a bad way.

I tried to think of negatives to balance out this appraisal, but had trouble. I guess I could say that the game can be a bit unreasonably rudderless at times, but even I was able to get myself back on track again when I’d lose my way. This game is still exemplary of its type, 23 years later.

Ratings

NBA Jam – 7/10

RoboCop vs Terminator – 4/10

Earthworm Jim – 9/10

When I was a kid in the late 80s and early 90s, I’d occasionally see a system advertised on TV and in magazines that wasn’t the SNES or the Genesis. It was a thin, matte-black affair that used archaic-looking cards instead of cartridges. Its graphics appeared to be right up there with its more popular rivals, and in fact it seemed to eclipse them in terms of capability. This incredible system was called the TurboGrafx 16, and I used to wonder why more people didn’t talk about it or have one. Eventually, it faded from the foreground of the gaming world, as the Sega CD, 32X, and eventually a whole new generation of consoles came to be. As I grew, and as time continued to pass, I’d always wonder… “what was the TurboGrafx 16 like?”

Two days ago, I got a chance to dive into not only its history, but its game library… a set of titles with surprising variety and amazing vibrancy. I have seen the 512 colors of the rainbow, and nothing looks the same now. I’ve seen wonderful, horrifying, and strange things.

♪ like a fool / I fell in love with you / you turned my whole world upside down ♪ seriously, I’ve gotten very little sleep since gaining access to this thing.

Needless to say, I’m a huge fan now. I want to tell you all I can. Let’s do this!

A Challenger Appears

In 1987, Hudson Soft partnered with NEC to spring a new system on the domestic market. They called it the PC Engine, and it was arguably the first of its kind: a 16 bit home console with graphics and sound rivaling the arcade. The beast’s CPU was still 8-bit, but that’s splitting hairs. The PC Engine boasted 16 bit processors for both its sound and its graphics. In its original Japanese form, the console was around 5 inches square and a little over an inch and a half thick… meaning, at the time, it held the record for the smallest home console ever. That’s a lot of power in such a tiny package. Keep in mind that this is in 1987. The NES had been released only two years prior, and the Mega Drive wouldn’t be around until October of ’88. Sunsoft and NEC had achieved alchemy. To add a final uppercut to the battle in the Japanese market, they released a CD ROM attachment two months after the Mega Drive was released… the first one ever on a home gaming console.

It’s so f**king cute.

Wait, guys… I lied. One last ball buster. Guess who also released the first fully portable console that used the same media as its plug-in-the-wall progenitor?

That’s right… five whole years before the Sega Nomad.

In the summer of 1989, the PC Engine was given a slight makeover and dropped on the US like a bomb… that bomb’s name was TurboGrafx 16. The system and its games were initially a huge hit, especially on the West coast, and among the hardcore gamers of the time; the true cultists and curators, the devoted.

Let’s talk about the games… There are so many worth mentioning, but I’ll touch on the brightest and best.

Lunatic Weird-Ass Pinball Games I Can’t Stop Playing

It gets worse. And better.

Alien Crush and Devil’s Crush are pretty legendary entries in the PC Engine game library. With minor changes, they made it to US Shores and fascinated players. They feature bizarre, phantasmagorical graphics as well as eerie music that seems absolutely appropriate.

A woman’s face gradually morphs into that of a hideous reptile. Bonus stages include space worms and a trio of bug-eyed undead faces. You get points for smashing little demons with the silver ball and firing it into the mouths of nightmarish beasts. The entire experience is enthralling, and I’ve already poured hours into both games.

About Twenty Million Shooters

Gradius was released for the PC Engine, and that version is considered one of the better ones. Its sequels saw release for the system as well, and were similarly beautiful games. In addition, about one metric ton of shoot em up games were produced for the console if you count both international and Japan-only titles. Hyper Dyne Side Arms is a pretty innovative one, and the infamous Zero Wing was also a hit in Japan. The genre is one of my favorites (and one of few types of game I’m actually decent at), so I was thrilled to see the huge library of shooters. I’m still picking through them, and will be for a while.

Gradius 2, Image Fight, R-Type, and Hyper Dyne Side Arms, four of roughly a billion shooters for the PC Engine/TurboGrafx 16.

The Only Easily Available Version of Splatterhouse We Had for a Long Time

I’ve written about Splatterhouse before. It’s amazing, gory, violent, scary, and it’s a masterpiece. It was ported to this system early after its arcade release, with very minor changes. The USA didn’t get a ton of Splatterhouse arcade cabinets, but we did get the TG-16 port and all the mayhem that came with it. Sure, his mask is red. Sure, some of the upside-down crosses and other stuff are removed. It’s still the same game, and it still came with a warning that excited you and scared your parents. It wasn’t until the “modern” era of gaming that a lot of us were exposed to the original article, well after we’d seen the entertaining but visually watered-down sequels on Genesis.

Lower left hand corner. It’s a cleverly phrased version of “I dare you, kid.”

I Am Not Kidding About the Game Called Toilet Kids

A Japanese title, Toilet Kids involves a magical journey through a land filled with (made of?) poop.

The Adventure Begins!!!

I’m going to let some pictures speak for themselves, and I’m going to let you plumb further (pun intended) if you’re curious. It’s a shoot em up, you fly on a toilet I think, and you dogfight with all kinds of crazy dook monsters. The graphics and sound are incredible… I’ve never witnessed cartoon turds so vividly, nor have I wanted to.

From the Japanese manual.

I’d hang out on a cloud too if I lived in an entire kingdom made of shit.

So Why Didn’t It Make the Grade?

Initially, it did! The original console sold well in Japan, as did the handful of peripherals and add-ons. The American market had a few complaints, though: Firstly, while the games were awesome, there weren’t many of them by well-known third parties like Konami, Capcom, etc. and a lot of popular titles got passed over for a TG-16 port. On a related note,the first-party games that made it across the Pacific to us often seemed… weird to the mainstream video gamer. They were ultimately better suited to the Japanese market. Another common gripe was the controller. It seemed outdated with its 2 buttons when compared to its contemporary rivals in the USA. All in all, while critics praised the game library in objective terms, the whole affair just seemed out of phase.

eh, okay. I see what you mean about the whole controller thing… but then, my thumbs get lost on an xbox pad. give me this any day.

Why You Should Still Have a Look if You Get a Chance

This system, this revolutionary little machine, broke the door down and hardly gets credit for it today. It fired the first round in what became one of the most amazing market battles in gaming history… the classic console wars we all remember from that era. The PC Engine deserves its place in retro gaming history, and any true student of the subject will take a good look.

To quote a certain bowler-wearing hoodlum, viddy well.

Dengeki PC Engine, August 1994 issue.

Oh… and stay retro. 😉

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