Scientists claim that we’re currently doing a reasonable job at a mass extinction but not nearly as good as the huge rock that struck Mexico around 65 million years ago. Regardless of what the top five extinctions tell us, the planet is fine, always has been, probably always will be. It appears to have a fairly nonchalant response when it comes to mass extinction. Before you start frantically commenting on why a mass extinction is bad, if they had never taken place, today we would not have sharks and cars, two of my favourite things.

Corvette Mako Shark

That being said, we have to enjoy our short but sweet time here and so far we’ve been pretty busy. Thankfully for me, fellow curious human beings make movies about sharks and cars. Obviously I’m not here to talk about sharks but I was thinking about my favourite retro motors in movies.

Without doubt in my mind Anton Furst’s Batmobile is one of the coolest retro on screen motors of all time. His design work on the bleak metropolis of Gotham was second to none and to have produced a very striking and timeless Batmobile was no mean feat. With inspirations from war machines, aircraft and art deco styling, the final result was the perfect driving machine for a super goth. Batman was charismatic and cool back then, the car was purely an extension of that. With a turbine driving the midnight black machine, it looked every bit intimidating as it did sexy, with its winged rear end and the aircraft like cockpit in the centre.

Twin browning machine guns mounted at the front, armour plating and a grappling hook, need I say more?

The Bat Bastard

In George Millers depiction of the future in Mad Max, a massive percentage of everything has died (Probably including sharks) with the exception of humans and cars. Not just any cars though, modified beasts with armour, guns, spikes and flamethrowers. Whilst there is something refreshing about a world without the Nissan leaf, tax returns, governments and police. The world in which Max lives is rather bleak and unforgiving. What better way to see the day through than mowing down members of a tyrannical biker gang with an armoured, nitro fuelled V8, a Ford Falcon to be exact.

The interceptor was the product of Barry, the seemingly mentally challenged mechanic in Mad Max. Despite his impairment he was quite handy with a spanner and put together what is arguably the meanest looking vehicle for a protagonist. “She’s the last V8, she sucks Nitro!”.

I could go on and mention all the most obvious super star cars, The Back to the Future DeLorean, Ecto 1 or the five hundred bond cars but as a car guy, I think we should all take a moment to remember those unsung heroes of the big screen. Those cars that got people from A-B or a car you saw only for a few seconds before it was blown up by an overzealous director. Knowing what kind of money these relics go for now, I watch some scenes through my fingers.

Take the Ford LTD for example. A large lumbering “yank tank” from as far back as the 60’s, which, in all of it’s variations, ran until the end of the 80s. If you’ve seen any films within this era, you’ve seen many of these land boats smashing into other cars, people, chasing criminals dressed as a smokey or simply driving entire families around in it’s vast expanse of an interior.

For the fans of the synthwave community I guess the go to movie is The Terminator. Kyle Reece came from a future war and needed some muscle. What better vehicle to steal than a sixteen foot long, two and a half ton V8 sedan. With a 0-60mph that could be measured on a sundial, 12 mpg and all the handling of an abused shopping cart, I guess the only bonus was that it was incredibly comfortable. The sheer size and weight was probably Kyle’s saving grace, because if Sarah Conner was born in Europe, Kyle would have stolen a Fiat and subsequently the Austrian death machine would have picked it up and thrown them in the sea.

In a sort of car “cos-play” the Ford LTD has been most memorable in retro movies as the Crown Victoria, in fleet use they were used for primarily police or taxi markets. Again you may remember it as the cop car used to getaway from the T1000 in Terminator 2, similar cruisers in Universal Soldier or from the hundreds of scenes of taxi rides in your favourite movies. The LTD is truly an on screen icon, from action films to crime thrillers, the LTD was stuntman, sidekick, for good guys and bad guys.

Throughout the 70s and 80’s car wrecking was a big draw for Hollywood. Ron Howards Grand Theft Auto (now overshadowed by the multi million dollar gaming franchise) was a wrecking-fest. Dozens of cars, now considered cherished automotive icons, were rolled, crushed and launched into untimely deaths.

If you want to see some of the best chases and stunts, check out Junk Man. Henry Blight Halicki, nickname, Junkman. A stuntman, director and a bit of a lunatic. Using his own vast collection of vehicles, he wrote and starred in Gone in 60 seconds, Junkman and also made a sequel to Gone in 60 seconds, aptly named Gone in 60 seconds 2.

Grab a copy and some popcorn and enjoy some automotive carnage!

This is, however, the reason we produce some of the greatest racing drivers in the world, cars produced on this island of rural race tracks required pin sharp handling, just enough speed to keep things interesting, looks were optional.

An Austin Maestro and an oil rig. Two things near extinction.

I’ve recently purchased a 1989 Audi 80 for less than a pair of trainers from Kanye West with a colour scheme that would make a five year old puke. I’m a fan of German and Japanese cars as you can probably tell but this is mostly down to the fact I’m not much of a gambling man, so I avoid French and British cars. I’m not saying they’re all bad but whilst thousands of workers in the UK cried into their cups of tea when British car manufacturers started to close down, I didn’t lose much sleep over it.

There are however some cars that became legend in my eyes and I’m sure for many of you overseas NRW fans, you wouldn’t have seen many.

GTE “Get there evenfaster”

The last time I saw a Vauxhall Astra GTE was around six years ago. I was on my Kawasaki Ninja at the time and waiting to pull away from some lights. As I pulled away and onto a dual carriageway an AC Cobra (another British sports car) filtered in front of me. I could hear the low rumble of the V8 through my helmet and I accelerated to get a closer look. As I did so a rather tatty, brown/red Astra GTE came in on the slip road and in-between me and the Cobra. At first I raised an eyebrow, staggered that one had actually survived 90’s but on further inspection I realised this was no regular GTE. The guy driving was wearing a hi-viz vest and ear defenders, sat in what appeared to be a bucket seat…surrounded by a roll cage.

With the Ninja poised and ready, the Cobra approached the part of the road that split into two lanes, I was hoping he’d put on a show. The driver of the AC laid down the power but it was too late, the Astra’s front end lifted, a pop, a bang and he dropped into third, I think, and we watched the GTE leave us like the Starship Enterprise leaves orbit.

The weapon

If you ever saw Police Camera Action here in the UK during the 90’s you’d always watch intently if the narrator mentioned a high speed chase with a GTE. Wildly underdeveloped handling, front wheel drive with around 150BHP made police chases with this thing more exciting than The Fast and Furious if everyone was on PCP. You were never in front of a GTE which is why myself and friends named it “The fastest car in the world”.

If you had the money and wanted Mustang speed, the Ford Sierra Cosworth was the one to get. In the 90’s my home town here in England was host to an unofficial Sunday night cruise, where young men and women came to show off their motors with widened body kits and ear bleeding sound systems in what is now probably considered the golden era of car modification.

Note the picnic table on the back

Much to the dismay of local authorities, proud owners of modified cars would lay down rubber in various car parks on the outskirts of the town, blasting bass heavy electronic music, whilst crowds gathered resulting in near misses and discarded fast food packaging.

Just like when a fight breaks out at school and a ring of onlookers gather to see who loses the first shoe, if you saw a large ring of people in a car park it may be surrounding the infamous Sierra RS Cosworth.

With its bad boy looks, ironing board size wing on the back and obnoxious exhaust as standard, this thing would eat more donuts than a New York cop. Although a fairly large car by UK standards the Cosworth was rebuilt and tuned to compete globally and finished off competition in Europe, Australia’s Bathurst and Japan’s raceways.

In rally the old girl was not quite as agile as the rest of the pack, up against the mighty Lancia and Toyota’s finest in the group A class but spectators fell for the brutish style it would blast around a track, spitting flame and shards of exhaust matter into the air.

The Ford production line probably made more cups of coffee in a day than TVR made cars in the 1980s but the TVR Tasmin for me beat them all in looks. I’m a fan of most wedge shaped cars of the era but TVR decided to provide drivers with a choice of wedges, complete with either V6’s or V8’s. Speaking of Ford, TVR actually poached many parts for the Tasmin from some of the most common Fords on the UK market and for some reason, like early limb transplants, TVRs did reject things in its body from time to time. I’ve looked at servicing costs and intervals, TVR owners would suggest you DON’T miss them and as you can expect from a company that’s been up and down like an ageing 80s A-lister, it’s not going to be cheap.

But just look at it!

The one thing I’ve heard from anyone who owns a TVR at various meets, is that if you have a million pennies to spend on a car, the TVR will reward you in many ways. You’re going to enjoy driving every minute it’s actually running, purely for the sound it makes. But i’m not here to review the running costs of a TVR, if you’re enthusiastic about this stuff, you WILL keep it going and survive on noodles for the month.

I could fill this article up with the most popular retro cars in the UK and this would most likely be a long list of Fords, but this wouldn’t be a run down of some of the British greats without mentioning a Bond car. I’m firmly in the Aston camp when it comes to choosing which car was the best. If i had the funds, it would the be the V8 Vantage.

Over 6 litres of carburettor fed V8, around 450BHP giving it enough welly to take it up to 170mph. Aston Martin weren’t kidding around but when you are tasked with building a car to outrun tanks in the snow, who else would you turn to?

I remember seeing a guy refuelling one of these at a petrol station, when i arrived he had been filling up before me. As i started refueling my motor, he closed that cap and walked around the other side to fill another tank! A car best remembered for cutting a Lada in half with a lazer beam, destroying a police roadblock with missiles, spiked tyres and skis…it even transformed into a shed at one point! (See the film)

Here are a couple more motors worth the mention;

The Rover SD1. A British muscle car with as much class as a kebab but for some reason I love it’s presence on the road and the distinct sound of the beautiful Rover V8. The choice of vehicles for both cops and robbers of the 80’s. Gorgeously quirky, an acquired taste.

The Jensen Interceptor had a huge Chrysler V8. I know this because a man in his 50’s used to thunder past me everyday whilst i waited for a bus for school back in the day. I never knew until sometime later what it actually was. You only had to describe the looks to a car nut and they would know instantly the long bonnet to sleek body and then finished off with a huge pane of glass at the rear, it had to be the Interceptor. Developed as a GT car, if you fed it enough fossil fuel, it would happily get you from England to Monaco and back again in one big powerful wafting motion.

Well there you have some of my favourite British retro motors but what are yours?

Comment below and happy driving retro fans!