Now put on some gloves. This isn’t light work. No, the thick rubber ones. Yeah, trust me.

Pac-Man (Atari 400/800/XE/XL Version)

Atari, 1982

No wonder those ghosts want to kill him. Look at him. He looks like Gerbert if Gerbert hit puberty and became, I don’t know, Dobie Gillis. What other lame references can I sneak in here? His face is horrible. He never had or needed teeth before, and now he has – that’s right – JUST INCISORS. Pac-Man doesn’t chew things. That’s fanciful bullshit for children. He just consumes them. I posit that Pac-Man is not the protagonist in this tale. The ghosts are sick of him chomping through their giant Spree candy and this time they’re not calling the cops. I like how the red ghost (I know they have names but I refuse to give them the dignity) is licking its lips. Its eerily humanlike hands put Pac’s rubbery-ass Gumby mittens to shame. Ditch the teeth and get some fingers, dude. Pac-Man is at his worst here, blindly swimming in his violent addiction even as he flees those who would destroy him for it.

This wouldn’t be so unsettling without the eyes. He sleeps in little snatches, 2 or 3 hours at a time. It’s all he can manage since he signed up for those LSD experiments to get time off his sentence.

Dr. Pimple’s Dog

Euro-Byte, 1983

Dr. Pimple collects two things. One of them is aerosol canisters full of pressurized horse blood. The other is gullible dogs. The monocle is an affectation that seems out of place with a green Nehru jacket and a face that looks like Boris Karloff knocked up Edward James Olmos. Doc Pimple doesn’t care. You’ll be wondering about more than his monocle when you’re covered in rarefied horse blood and running at full speed from a cheerful suicide dog.

“16 maidens to rescue” is more of a sarcastic taunt than a call to action; Pimple’s already atomized their fluids and fed the jerky-like husks to “Spot.” Spot loves this whole thing, because as noble as we make dogs out to be, every single one of them is a depraved Epicurean hedonist capable of appalling acts of violence. Wait, hold up… my bad, that’s cats.

Dr. Pimple could have done a lot with his life, but he’s chosen his path… he aims to be the H.H. Holmes of the Commodore 64 world. All it takes is a good dog, a fresh can of horsey juice, and a dream.

Venom

Mastertronic, 1987

THIS IS HOW YOU SELL A VIDEO GAME. This could be the cover of a truly “wicked” metal album, or in the pages of an RPG book, or just a motivational poster to remind us what matters… suiting up and riding out on your slobbering human-eyed horse to split wigs and mete out justice.

Peep this fucking horse though. Those eyes look like a human’s and they’re scowling. It’s looking right at the viewer, as if to assure you that yes, you are next, and that your agony will make hell seem like a utopia. The knight and his steed work as one, but they do not kill serpents out of nobility or virtue. These two are full-time on this shit for its own sake, carrying the last of their savings in cash and waiting for their blood to mingle with yours and the snake’s as it soaks into the graying earth. Until then, they kill simply to exult in the act, and besides, no one misses the giant fucking snakes.

Panic 64

Interceptor Software, 1983

The cover of Panic 64 was drawn by the sister of Interceptor Micro’s programmer Andrew Challis. I don’t know if she ever did any other professional artwork, but I’d love to see it if she has. Here we have another slice of life from an abstract hellscape: clouds of methane gas fill the yawning voids between pieces of crumbling Chuck E Cheeze architecture, a backdrop for one voyager’s final stand against some very flamboyant CHUDs. Kneeling from fatigue, his eyes wide with the fury of patience finally lost, he shoves back the stubby mob of child-sized mutants as he places and arms the last device. Thirty seconds to detonation, and the extraction point is somewhere down that ladder.

“Fuck it,” he mumbles to himself as he kicks an infant sized ghoul into the gasoline-puddle abyss. “Might as well just jump.”

Super Breakout (2600)

Atari, 1979

In the cold and fathomless black ocean of deep space, dancing on the edge of a 200-billion-light-year-wide supervoid containing only emptiness, a lonely astronaut waits to die. The colors surround him. They mock and sing. His aim is off and he lets another projectile slip into the starless black, past him and on into infinity. It easily leaves this non-place where he is trapped. He stares blankly as it fades into the dark and he fights the urge to weep. No, he will not lose his mind here, despite all. The cruelest joke is that he already has.

He has not played catch with his son or made love to his wife in æons. He does not even know how old he is now, or how long he has been imprisoned. Time has left this place, a brittle totem of man’s meaningless structures. Long ago his oxygen supply should have dwindled. When he first blundered into this absurd game of catch, a veritable rainbow-wall of bright light bore down on him like a sniper on a dim rooftop. In a spectacle of idiot monotony, he has worn down the walls of this lurid Jericho, but he lacks the faith of Joshua. In this immeasurable span of silent hours, the minimal progress is totally meaningless. He narrows his eyes as he turns back to the rusted console, and for the first time since he lost contact with Earth, he speaks.

“I wish I had another game. This one sucks.”

See You Soon, and Stay Retro!

Super NES Classic

The Super NES Classic edition takes gamers back to the 1990’s, when console gaming was very much in its heyday, and it does it all in a much smaller version of the original. The Super NES Classic will allow gamers to enjoy a huge dose of 16-bit nostalgia, with the console sporting rewind, my game play demo and frame features. Players will be able to enjoy classic titles such as Super Mario World, The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past and Donkey Kong Country.

PlayStation Classic

You could say that the original PlayStation changed the gaming world forever, so who wouldn’t want to head back and relive the good old days? The PlayStation Classic is everything the 1994 original was, but 45% smaller, and players can of course link the console to their TV via a HDMI cable. Epic titles such as TEKKEN 3 and Final Fantasy VII feature as two of the titles available to play.

Sega Mega Drive Classic

Sega were very much key players in the gaming industry back in the day, with their consoles always well received by players. One of the finest creations was of course the Sega Mega Drive, so the Sega Mega Drive Classic has fast become one of the most sought-after retro pieces. Players can enjoy iconic game series’ such as Sonic and Mortal Kombat, all on the one console. Stereo sound and multiplayer are both available, to take this retro gaming experience to the next level.

Atari ‘Retro’ Handheld

The Atari provided the first gaming experience for many people, so a retro version of the console which sports the immortalised wood effect and TV output has been very well received by gamers around the world. Based on the Atari 2600, players will be able to get stuck into 50 built-in games and can either enjoy them on the console’s 2.4” screen, or their TV. This is a console which provides a true retro experience.

Sega Genesis Mini

We said Sega were kings of games consoles back on the day, and therefore it should come as no surprise to see them with another entry on our list. This time it’s the Sega Genesis Mini, which is a miniature version of the very successful and hugely popular Sega Genesis. Out in September of this year, gamers are already eagerly anticipating its release, with the console featuring 40 iconic games, which come preloaded. Ecco The Dolphin, Sonic the Hedgehog and Castlevania Bloodlines all come included, with players able to link the console up to their TV via HDMI.

Nodes of Yesod

Odin Computer Graphics, Ltd, 1985

Let me start off by saying two things. First, “Odin” is a good name for anything. I shouldn’t have to explain why. Beats me why anyone would be too lame to get it. Second, this game was published for a computer called the Enterprise 128, and I know nary a damn thing about it. In fact, this game box is the first evidence I’ve seen that the system ever existed.

I’m guessing the massive, otherworldly floating bronze table is a Node, because I don’t know what the hell else it’d be, just floating around on some dusty-ass moon. You can tell that the novelty of nodes, and even the wonder of outer space, long ago ran sour for our astronaut here. His space suit looks like it was cobbled together using terrycloth towels and those soft lunchboxes that are supposed to keep food hot but instead just make it easier to ruin between point A and B. In his fat, vinyl-thick hand, he holds the pinnacle of space age innovation: a Super 8 camera.

Back in 1985, they had to clarify on the box whether or not it was a “graphics adventure.” It even has stereo sound. Nodes of Yesod wasn’t just any Normal Joe computer program. This was some high-fallootin’ boutique-level entertainment.

Krazy Kong

PSS, 1983

Okay, I have heard of the ZX81.

That’s about all. I’ve seen it mentioned in the occasional article or other source. I never bothered to learn more. To be fair, 90% of my personal time consists of playing D&D on Roll20, watching low-budget horror and sci fi films, and sleeping.

Whether or not you’ve heard of the ZX81, Krazy Kong has heard of you. In his dreams. The ones where he’s eating you. What unnerves me even more than his bright red face and his ability to astral project just his head? The fact that he’s out to get you… and looks fucking JAZZED about it. Dude packed a cooler and everything. He lives for this shit. One must wonder what attachment, sentimental or contractual, a leering red ape might have to the might and ancient Pyramid, but Krazy Kong does not look like the kind of cat I’d be asking a ton of questions. You’re probably lucky if you can get a head start.

Wait. Wait. It also bothers me – as well as standing in affront to nature and science – that Krazy Kong has a very human nose and four daggerlike Dracula fangs. Planning an exciting getaway to Egypt this year? I say skip it.

Megami Tensei Gaiden – Last Bible

Multimedia Intelligence Transfer, 1999

I am aware that this is a way more recent game than we usually talk about here, but I don’t give a shit because Megami Tensei is a long-running and pitifully undersung series. Oh yeah, and let me give a shout: Zayd, Ben, Zach, Colin, Nick, and Jonah… this is for you. I love you guys even though you’re hopeless anime nerds.

Much like the Final Fantasy series eternally promises in its titles that this is definitely the final one (but it isn’t because you FF fans love this shit and would probably buy a toaster if we branded it with Cloud’s smirking face), this game makes reference to something called the “Last Bible.” I am not a theologist, nor was I ever much for the academic end of religion, but I’m reasonably sure there’s just one Bible. I mean, there’s the Book of Mormon, the Catholic Apocrypha, and a handful of other peripheral tomes… but I don’t think they published a “Bible 2.” I’m willing to bet that most of the Apostles had enough excitement seeing the first one through.

Apparently in the Last Bible, Christ is notably absent. He has been rotated out in favor of three kids who have some really fucking weird homies. It may just be a splash representation of both the characters and the monsters, but this stone cold convinces me that these folks, human or not, represent one crew. Here’s my imagination’s breakdown of the posse, member by member:

• Sassy Face Pink Lion Man is usually the one who gets the gang all riled up to do crazy shit. SFPLM does not use an inside voice ever, and probably doesn’t care to know what that means. That said, he’s a genuinely friendly dude, cares about his friends, and is always willing to walrus-bite a fool if they wanna step. SFPLM’s only gripe is that when they do Tuesday lunch at Red Robin, it’s a real pain in the ass to chew a burger with only four huge canine teeth.
• The human girl in the blue and red getup with the rather ostentatious pimp-sceptre is only around about half the time; her mom likes that she’s getting out of the house and making friends, but there’s just something about Ponderous Leering Gorgon Pharoah that bothers her. I mean, live and let live, but Mom calls ’em like she sees ’em.
• Frontmost obligatory sword guy isn’t even ostensibly in charge. He just always gets all pee-jump excited about SFPLM’s yelling bullshit that he goes all spazmo and tries to out-lion the lion. Everyone’s cool to him ,though, because he is actually OK with the sword and he usually has 4 or 5 bags of Gushers in his bookbag and doesn’t mind sharing them.
• Pinstrip Turban Asshole barely has a vested interest in anything. He usually just fills space, smirking all smugly and diligently avoiding mud so he doesn’t ruin his Circus Sultan clothes. He actually knows no goddamned magic at all, but Sword Kid has a brutal crush on his older sister so it’s this kind of lukewarm half friendship. Sword Kid would never tell anyone, but once he saw Turban Kid in a private moment, standing n front of a full-length mirror and lip-synching to “Barbie Girl.”
• I am unsure if the orange stone and serpent-horse body part grab bag are one thing or two. The flamboyant but incredibly street-smart snake-horse met the lion guy when they were in college, and despite the two of them having jack shit in common except this thing they’re doing, they’ve stayed friends.
• Gucci Skeleton Prince is not a regular member of the crew. He’s actually not an undead wizard or king or anything, but his mumble rap career is just now picking up wind, and he’s got his priorities straight. HE still pops by to run with the old crew once in a while, not only because he’s superhumanly chill, but because he knows it’s good to remember your roots.
• The tentacle bug man in the aggressively-yellow 4x sweatsuit is actually the most powerful member of the team, but everyone just rags on him for his weird fashion sense and the fact that he smells like Vics Vapo Rub all the time. He doesn’t share a lot about himself, and Turban Kid thinks he might be suicidally depressed, but doesn’t really care because Turban Kid is an asshole. Also, Bug Guy always insists on bringing the huge red lizard even though it panics the second things get tense and refuses to bear a rider. He feeds it pills. No one asks.
• Aw man, fucking Ponderous Leering Gorgon Pharoah. This dude is barely capable of coherent speech, is usually Xanned out, and has to be reminded every five to ten minutes what’s going on. Sassy Lion is looking for a good way to tell Gorgon Pharoah that he’s a gigantic liability, but it’s incredibly hard to talk to this guy while he’s just rolling his eyes back in his head and bass-groaning in monotone for a half-hour straight.

Ninja Golf

Atari, 1990

“Look, we needed a guaranteed-minimum walk-in sale, and if you put ninjas in anything, it’s pretty much gonna get bought by some people.”

I immediately recall the scene in the film Ninja III: the Domination where several well-trained shinobi killers throw down and let some blood soak the fairways. This box art is kind of a letdown, though. I can forgive it being a tad plain – I mean, you design a package, get the job done, and go home – but what really bothers me? That isn’t even a Japanese sword, yo. That’s a Chinese K.F. Broadsword.

You should also be more careful stowing your nunchaku. Night play can be a harrowing uphill battle, and losing a good pair of chucks could ruin your round. Not to mention the dubious function and comfort of tabi boots with cleats on the bottom.

Eliminate Down

Soft Vision, 1993

This is fucking stomach-churning. That is a deliberate and carefully-rendered Butthole Worm. A colossal butthole worm, flailing its guts-body around as it gets rocked by laser fire and letting… whatever that is ooze out of its suggestive aperture. Even the screaming piano-toothed alien seems a little shocked. Maybe a little embarrassed. “It’s… not mine. I don’t know… it just… I found it in here.”

The towering articulated cactus-arcology seems tame in comparison. I fail to see how that loveable oaf could hurt a fly. He’s perfectly content swaying in the thermals, passively ingesting space-plankton, and thinking about what having limbs would be like.

He was pretty comfy until Anus-Wyrm busted on the scene with his gaping orifice and his Astroglide drool problem. There goes the magma-ocean.

In February, I make this Good Boy Promise to you, my readers: I will write three articles, and exactly zero of them will be box art. Stay Retro, and as the Great One once said, “be like water, my friends.”

Donkey Kong (2600 version)

Nintendo, 1981

They are really, REALLY trying to convince you that Donkey Kong is a white-knuckle action sci-fi thriller. Mario’s ditched the silly little cap and hit the gym hard. DK’s been given a stark makeover as well, a far cry from the almost huggable version we see in modern Nintendo products. This Donkey Kong has crawled from the outer darkness at the edge of human knowledge, a nightmarish primordial thing intent on devouring maiden after maiden. Blood slicks the girders, but Mario knows the stakes. He hefts the gleaming hammer Mjolnir, apparently on loan from the Norse god Thor, and… uses it to smack barrels out of his way.

See, box art like this is something I’m still bitter about in a small way. Remake Donkey Kong, but use this picture as a kicking-off point.

Haunted House

Atari, 1981

There is a specific reason I’m picking on this one. It drew my eye because of its striking initial impression, and it’s actually really good as far as a piece of illustration. However, they fell into that pit that a lot of lower-budget British horror films do: There’s nothing scarier than a golden orb weaver spider and some fruit bats, right?

The eyes barely even look scared. That’s like a “oh shit I left the bathtub running” face.

Red Storm Rising

Microprose, 1988

I’m all for saving the world from Soviet domination, but I’m discouraged by the fact that we have no intel at all about their colossal world-destroying bear. Bearing ICBM platforms on its back, it steps over the Bering Strait as if it were a crack in the pavement. Its roars shake humanity to its foundation, and its snarling face eclipses the sun. Our only hope is for that one submarine, about the size of Portugal, to bring down the giant beast somehow.

This is another case of irresponsible and excessive hype. Most people who are into deeply immersive simulators like this (pun intended) don’t need to be baited in by a giant bear. But I bet they won’t complain, either.

Dicky’s Diamonds

Romik, 1983

This cover is the kind of shit that can only exist on the far shores of reality, where prog rock album covers are born. This one burned out mid-flight and became a Commodore 64 game. I refuse to believe that’s simply a clear night sky, and I also reject the idea that this owl and spider are anything but godlike beings in mundane form, playing out some parable whose arc far exceeds our limited mortal vision. Neither seems intent on the gems; their eyes burn, fixed upon each other in the anticipation of combat.

And I sincerely feel like that combat would take place during a RIPPING Alex Lifeson solo.

Megaman 3 (PAL Version)

Capcom, 1990

Dr. Wily can’t stop barfing up all these robots! Seriously though, tell me this looks like anything else is happening. Rock seems mildly bothered by it, but Roll is truly disgusted; even his eyes betray the revulsion. Wily himself looks absolutely terrified. This was not the intended result of his life’s work. What good will world domination be if he can’t stop vomiting fully formed robot heads and bolts of electricity long enough to enjoy it? The only one who seems purely embarrassed is Hard Man on the far right. Listen, Megaman, he’s sorry. There really wasn’t anything he could do. Give him a call and he’ll help cover the dry cleaning. Cheers.

We’ll see you again at the end of the month, campers. Stay Retro!

I’m talking about “true classics.” While not the earliest examples of their type, these games – ones that existed within the cycle of arcade, 2600, ColecoVision, and other formats – are certainly the earliest “household names” commonly summoned up from the sediment of our collective long term memory. They’re less often examined nowadays because they appear so rudimentary to your average person, but their worth has not changed. This is some serious, actual oldschool shit, and it’s time for the whippersnappers to sit up straight and start taking notes. We’re gonna do a grab bag on the solid gold oldies.

NOTE: In this article, since I’m talking about games that were released when video gaming was still in its formative (even primitive) stage, I won’t spend much time talking about graphics or sound. It’s a safe assumption that these aspects will be very basic in any game from the era, but if one of them is exemplary for its time in a particular case, I’ll mention it.

Pitfall!

Activision/David Crane, 1982

glug glug glug.

Part of what I really like about Pitfall is that it’s not only a great game, it was part of Activision basically saying “fuck you” to Atari for assuming it’d established some kind of imperial monopoly on

game development. Activision grabbed talent from Atari and other sources over time by offering game designers something Atari absolutely refused to: credit for their work. Eventually, the popularity of the titles developed at Activision pressured Atari to start licensing them. A victory against the Eternal Asshole. Hallelujah.

Anyway, Pitfall gives you control of a dude named Harry, and you have 20 minutes to navigate a decidedly unfriendly environment in order to get some sick loot. The game itself is a very early example of an action platformer, and it even gently tugs on the RPG line, at least in my view. At the very least, it’s got one of the common tropes of that genre: you’re risking your entire ass to poke through a terrible place to find something of value.

The action is pretty damn knuckle-biting for its time, and is one of the reasons Pitfall is considered a classic. There is a constant level of tension and sometimes your decisions boil down to “which horrible risk do I want to take?” High adventure at its finest. My personal favorite is the crocodiles. I love how harry just kind of disappears vertically into them, into some pocket dimension in their lower jaw or something. Regardless of that, Pitfall is a lot of fun to play on any of the systems it was licensed for, and proof that a game with a simple premise and good design is timelessly and universally worthwhile.

BurgerTime

Data East/Mattel, 1982

the egg’s not even that into this. Peer pressure at its worst. That pickle though… it’s pissed. It’s really decided to put everything into this conflict. IT WON’T HEAL THE WOUNDS INSIDE PICKLE

It is known to a few sages of the obscure and the forgotten that the word “BurgerTime,” in the language of the Ancients who sailed across the great astral sea of space to seed our world with the components necessary for abiogenesis and new life, means something akin to “Thunderdome.”

In other words, You don’t just exit BurgerTime. You have to fucking fight your way out.

They can smell your fear. Your fear, and the alluring aroma of sizzling ground beef.

In another simple premise typical of the era, in BurgerTime you are a dude named Peter Pepper who has one job to do: knock some fucking burgers together so you can clock out. The problem is, there are anthropomorphic eggs, hot dogs, and pickles all over your burger scaffold doing their best to stop you from achieving your burger-stack goals. Whatever their problem is, they’ve apparently decided that Peter’s the cause. Fortunately, you can fight back by using pepper not unlike pepper spray, as well as smashing the bad guys under a falling burger part or getting them to stand on it just as you make it drop. Not terribly clever are these rogue ingredients, despite their lust for your blood. The game gets harder as you go, requiring more burgers per stage and throwing more pissed off eggs and pickles into the mix.

I have been an enthusiastic fan of this game for a longer time than a lot of other games that came out before I was born, mostly because I have fond memories of playing it on a beat-up cabinet at a local pizzeria during my childhood. More importantly, it stands alongside Circus Charlie as a video game that reinforces an important concept: conflict, despite its unpleasant nature and ultimately harmful effects, is a perpetual and omnipresent phenomenon. There can never truly be total peace.

Not while those pickles and eggs have a fuckin’ attitude, anyway.

Q*bert

Warren Davis/Jeff Lee, 1982

Gottleib’s most successful title, Q*bert is one of those early arcade games that became a readily recognizable property readily seen as a symbol of the video game.” I even remember the younger of my two older sisters, who didn’t give half a shit about video games at all, having a Q*bert button on her backpack in high school. While the little snoot-dude doesn’t even remotely approach Mario or Pac Man in terms of being a household name, during the early 80s he made quite a name for himself. That’s because his game is actually pretty novel for its time, not to mention fairly fun to play.

Already all kinds of fucked.

As Q*bert, you’re trying to jump all over a set of isometrically drawn cubes, changing the color of them when you land on them. This sounds like a pretty easy thing to pull off, until you consider that snakes, monsters, and all kinds of shit are chasing you around while you do this, trying to preserve what I guess they see as the cube color status quo of the iso-pyramid. Shit can get a little heated, especially since the green monsters can change back the cubes you’ve touched. Things can quickly dissolve into bullshit.

Even cooler than any of that, and something I’ve not been able to personally experience in full since I use emulators for most of this, is the level of effort that went into the Q*bert cabinet. Not only was a speech synthesizer used to create the sound Q*bert makes when he gets caught by a bad guy, but pinball components were even included into the machine to create certain sound effects. The digital sound components use 128 bytes of memory to to their job, which is quite a bit for ’82. I personally find this to be the most impressive part of Q*bert, especially since I’m really shitty at the actual game.

Pitfall! – 7/10 (It’s really fun and involved for a game of its time, and if you can appreciate games this old at all, then it’s even exciting.)

BurgerTime – 8/10 (it can be a real motherfucker, but it’s an early example of Data East not shitting the bed with the lights on while designing a game, so I’m very fond of it.)

Q*bert – 7/10 (A lot of innovation took place when this game was unleashed on the world, and it’s faded from prominence a bit, but it’s not to be overlooked.)

It’s time for us to cross the streams, true believers.

There’s a lot of talk about comics here on NRW, and rightly so. Joey has his own awesome strand of articles wherein he sheds light on the old and exposes us to the retro-new, and we love it, because Joey is to the medium of comics what I am to sitting on my ass in front of a CRT monitor with a controller in my hand: he’s a passionate expert on the subject. It’s worth diving into; when done well, the comic book or graphic novel is an art form capable of deftly transporting the reader to new worlds – some like our own, and some realities away from it.

What can’t be overlooked is how the comic book multiverse has been thrust into the colored-light beams and binary rows of the VG grinder time and time again in the plodding quest to juice franchises for more revenue. Here’s the dolorous stroke, folks: We’re going to take a look at how they’ve done this with one of Marvel’s undisputed icons, their bread-and-butter household name… Spider-Man. Peter Parker, the world’s most beloved wise-cracking web slinger, has been dipped in silicon and code frequently throughout video gaming’s history, with results that I will be kind and describe as “varied.”

I mean, he’s an icon. Some comics fans think he’s a pussy. Honestly, I do too. I’m more of a Punisher guy. No one can deny, however, that Peter Parker is one of the most luminous stars in comic book history. (Artwork by Michael Golden)

Everyone’s pretty familiar with Spidey’s origins and powers. He got bit by a radioactive spider, got some powers, lost his uncle to crime, and got serious about cleaning up the Big Apple (and sometimes beyond). The wall-crawler has made tons of friends and enemies since his appearance in the 60s, from goblins to murderous hunters to symbiotic aliens that abandoned him and sought out his unstable and disgruntled colleagues for revenge (Venom is the man!) Pete’s powers, coupled with his nifty web-shooting devices, make for the possibility of great dynamic gameplay if translated creatively into digital form. Right?

Ah, shit, kids… let’s just do this. I’m not gonna look at every game, but we’ll examine the prominent titles that most of us may have seen or played.

Spider-Man (1982)

Platform: Atari 2600

Culprits: Parker Brothers/Atari

Eh. It’s not great, but everything looked like this in 1982. At least we can tell which one’s Spider-Man.

You’ll probably expect me to be cruel here, because I do lean on the side of bastardry when it comes to the 2600. I mean… eh. Let’s stay in context… this isn’t bad for a 2600 game. Considering the limits of the system graphics- and sound-wise, you get a good representation of the key elements. Gameplay consists of getting up on top of the building and kicking Green Goblin’s ass, which to be fair, ate up a lot of Peter’s logged superhero hours in the 70s/80s either together or as separate activities. Using your web shooters is a little tedious, but once you’ve got the hang of how to do it in a rhythm and pull yourself up, it’s pretty fun. I suppose my only knock on this one is that it’s not enough to do. But then, not every 2600 game can be Burgertime and crush your soul with raw chaos.

The Amazing Spider-Man (1990)

Platforms: Amiga, Atari ST, PC Compatibles

Culprits: Oxford Digital/Paragon Software

Let me start off with something nice before I put my hands under the table and fucking lift. The Amiga has always stood out for its time as a system capable of audiovisual richness, and this game really turns her out. The ST and PC versions are decent in that regard too, although the audio quality varies.

“Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level!”  I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.

Now, let’s talk about HOW they chose to turn her out. The controls are pretty fucking far from intuitive; while I expect translating Spider-Man’s iconic means of locomotion to be a challenge for a game developer, this shit is just abyss you’ll keep falling into until you start being meticulously careful… which isn’t prudent in 90% of the situations you’ll be navigating. Move fast? Move really carefully? The answer to both is usually no. Again, I can’t knock the graphics, but there’s something inherently wrong about this image, seen during the intro. Something that reminds me of “non-Euclidean shapes,” “lightless gulfs across time and space,” and “red-haired woman being forcibly abducted by a fishbowl-headed mannequin.” Poor Mary Jane.

somebodys_fetish.jpg

Almost as bizarre is the choice to represent your life bar as a picture of Spider-Man that turns skeletal from the feet upward as you move closer to death.

He looks a little embarrassed. I don’t blame him.

Last gripe: the game is, at least to me, unreasonably goddamn long considering the tedium it is to play. You can watch a longplay here, and be sure to listen to the entire intro music, or at least sit through it for as long as you can before reaching for that little red track-bar to skip through it and save your sanity.

Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six (1992)

Platforms: NES, Game Gear, Master System

Culprits: LJN (OF COURSE), Flying Edge, Bits Studios

This game is mercifully short, but still feels like being hurled into a black hole and somehow kept alive to slowly lose one’s mind via time dilation. Spider-Man, despite being fully human height, has the same general proportions as Wee Man from Jackass. His ability to leap through the air is admirable, and the controls aren’t too bad… until you try to do any of the shit Spider-Man is known for doing in terms of movement. The graphics are candy-colored palettes of pure hell wherein men are depicted universally as shoeless mongoloids and no light seems to penetrate anything (despite the garish coloration of everything).

It’s like Willy Wonka took a massive shit all over everything, and really wasn’t feeling well when he did. I bumble forth, capable of great feats of agility but barely able to keep my goose neck from dropping my pumpkin head onto my barrel chest. As Spider-Man, I am the monster, and I belong here.

A small handful of farty, tooty pieces of music cycle as you penetrate deeper into the Sinister Six’s criminal kingdom, presenting a strange yet totally-LJN mix of jazzy swing and “I ate so many tabs I can’t even tell what genre this is.” The drums punch at the listener’s mind, almost as if they are intended to pummel you into accepting the rest of this musical affront as tolerable. It’s like a rave in a Civil War graveyard, and someone invited Dizzy Gillespie. Actually, fuck that… that’d rule. This doesn’t.

Again, I can’t flush this game completely; it’s a decent effort overall, but LJN had a tendency (with a scant few exceptions) to attach its name to something and then pile drive it into the floor until no amount of reconstructive surgery could fix it.

Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage (1994)

Platforms: Genesis. SNES

Culprits: LJN, Acclaim, Software Creations

We’re ending on a positive note. We have to. We owe it to ourselves.

I really liked the Maximum Carnage story arc in the comics. It’s held high by some and shit on by others, but there’s something about a villain so terrifying that two bitter enemies (not to mention a wild cross section of Marvel’s 90s line-up) combined forces to defeat him as he rampaged across New York with his own wrecking crew. I love big events, and I LOVE villains. And Carnage… well, he’s one burning hell of a villain.

Really, if anyone deserves this shit, it’s JJ. 

This effort did decent justice to the source material. I’ll keep this simple and just tick off some pros and cons.

PROS

-Venom is a playable character

-Morbius shows up, along with Deathlok, Black Cat, Iron Fist, and a few other underrated Marvel good guys

-it’s a beat-em-up, and not a bad one, either

-comic book style cut scenes, and they’re not done poorly

–pretty damn good music

-LJN didn’t set this one on fire and stand back playing pocket pool while it burned to slag

Really cool audio-visual presentation all around. It keeps true to the comic feel without burning that candle at both ends with a welding torch.

CONS

-The music did not sound as good in the Genesis version

-This game is also long; why the hell does Spider-Man mean “long fucking game” almost uniformly to game designers

-It’s incredibly unfair to put bad-ass characters like Black Cat, Iron Fist and Morbius in here and not have them as full-on playables

-I feel like a lot of the villains get undersold in terms of their powers and badass-ness

-Still, to make an understatement, a bit fucking cumbersome to do the web slinging thing, although it must be acknowledged that it’s better in this than in any predecessor

Overall, Maximum Carnage is fun as hell. I owned the Genesis cart as a kid and got a lot of replay value out of it. It’s a net win due to presentation and the choice of formatting it as a beat-em-up, which makes it approachable on a level far beyond its ancestors in Spidey’s video game library.

That brings us to 1994, folks, so I guess I’ll put the brakes on it here. Thanks for reading, and before I go, I suppose I owe you some number ratings on these hunks of pop media history.

Atari 2600: 6/10

Amiga: 5/10

NES: 3/10

Genesis/SNES: 7/10

See you at the end of the month, RetroFans! Excelsior!!!

There are valid arguments for games anywhere on this spectrum as retro classics, but where this writer is concerned it’s the games that were available in the early-’80s that really capture the spirit of what gamers love in retro concepts. So without further ado, here’s a look back at some of the best games from this time period, on Atari. <br />

Pac-Man

Developed by Namco and released as its own arcade game in 1980, Pac-Man is, of course, one of the most beloved and recognizable video games of all time. It eventually made its way to a bunch of consoles over the years, and adaptations over time have shown surprising restraint in keeping it pretty similar to the original. As you probably know if you’re a fan of the game, it’s now available for download in app form as well, with Bandai-Namco still involved in development. But here’s a fun fact for you Pac-Man fanatics: it was the Atari 2600 version of the game that (accidentally) caused players’ enemies to flicker, which resulted in their being branded as ghosts. For that reason, this old Atari version is even more special than the rest.

Space Invaders

This Taito game was actually first invented in 1978, but it certainly lasted long enough to become one of the defining games of the early-’80s. Eventually available on NES and other systems, it really exploded into fame on the Atari 2600 in 1980. It’s now been imitated and rebooted dozens of times, and it can legitimately be called one of history’s more influential games. 

Star Raiders

This is another title that was released in the late-’70s but really made its name on the Atari in the early-’80s. A sort of space combat simulator—if you haven’t played, think Top Gun, in space, on an 8-bit Atari system—it doesn’t quite have the name recognition of Space Invaders or Pac-Man. However, it remains an old favorite for a lot of gamers. Actually, an interpretation of the game just recently surfaced as part of a collection of instant win online arcades hosted at a popular lottery and gaming site. This particular version is more like a slot machine backed by the atmosphere of the original, but it’s still got little bits and pieces of space shooter simulations. At any rate, it’s a testament to how many people out there still fondly remember the game that was first created in 1979 and established itself as one of the better early Atari titles. 

Joust

Originally a 1982 arcade game, this one eventually made its way to Atari systems and remains one of the pioneering titles in co-op gameplay. It was basically a platformer in which your job was to ride your knight into enemy knights to do away with them and advance. Oh, and in case you forgot, “riding” in this case meant sitting atop a flying ostrich. Sometimes it really was the simple weirdness of early video games that made them great. 

Berzerk

This was a brilliant Atari 2600 title because it almost felt like a combination of some of the great gaming concepts of the time. Berzerk, which incidentally you can play pretty easily online, combined the maze element of Pac-Man with the shooter element displayed in games like Space Invaders and Star Raiders. You simply controlled a little stick man navigating a maze and taking out robots while trying to avoid running into them or getting shot yourself. It almost feels like something you might come up with if someone explained the concept of video games to you for the first time but you didn’t know of any specific games. 

These are just a few that come to mind from an era packed with memorable and influential video games. But even going back through this limited selection has to make you want to find an old Atari and see if you can boot it up! 

Alternate Title: “Why I’m Glad They Buried E.T. Out In the Desert”

If you asked a ton of people when console gaming really started, they’d reflexively tell you, “When the Nintendo (NES) came out.” While they’d be wrong, they’re less wrong than we’d like to admit. The NES didn’t start console gaming, but what it did do was swoop into Hades on white-feathered wings and pluck it from damnation.

What this article will attempt to do is illustrate a sequence of events that nearly caved in the concept of video games forever in North America. It’s a tawdry tale featuring cutthroat economics, desperation, stagnation, and E.T. The Extraterrestrial.

Too Much of a Good Thing

In 1982-1983, the Atari 2600 was the done thing in console gaming. Homes across the United States were playing Atari. Some weren’t, but they had something… a ColecoVision, a Commodore 64, a Vectrex, or maybe the Odyssey 2 (which was pretty good for its time). In fact, You could say that there were so many choices, the market was flooded.

Since most of us attended school back when they still taught basic economics, we know that if you flood a market with supply, the demand goes down and so does the price point. Well, there were no less than (and probably more than) twelve (12) consoles on the market by 1983, with more planned for ’84 by many of the same companies.

The Magnavox Odyssey2 (that 2 is supposed to be superscript), a pretty good little game machine, but part of a flooded swamp of a market.

Overabundance can lead to rot and stagnation. Guess what? It did.

Home Computers Muscle In

One of the gaming systems I mentioned up there was the Commodore 64. Now, the C64 wasn’t designed just for gaming. It was meant as a home computer. If you were one of many up-and-coming go-getters in the 1980s, you could use this thing to write business reports, organize your finances, send a letter to your mom, or even play a game.

And you could buy all this functionality for about $499, plus a modest investment in some software.

Out Run for the C64. The graphics alone blow the Atari 2600 out of the water. Not to mention that you can use this very same machine to do your taxes or write the great American novel.

Since the first gaming consoles did very little (if any) third-party licensing to start with, the independents of the day would often work with computer platforms. This led to many of them having more diverse game libraries than some consoles did. You know what else these rogue programmers loved about working with platforms like the C64? The graphics capability was miles above anything in console gaming, not to mention overall processing capability.

So why buy a system you can only play games on, that no one else is allowed to write programs for, and doesn’t want to anyway?

Inflation Craps All Over the Dollar

Signs of inflation had started not long after the Bicentennial, with the value of a dollar slowly dropping. While it can be said that the economy improved in some areas in the early 80s, Many amusement and arcade interests lobbied for a smaller dollar coin in 1979 since the spending power of a quarter was a joke by this point. The end result was the Susan B Anthony coin, worth $1 but around the size of a quarter (and thus more manageable for things like vending machines or arcade cabinets). It was this very similarity to the US quarter that made it a flop; some machines would reject the coin, others would simply treat it as a quarter. Neither result was desirable for arcade owners. This hurt video gaming in the States along with everything else happening.

Even Susan looks pissed. “HOW COULD YOU SCREW THIS UP?” Despite failing to solve any of the problems it was meant to solve, the coin was minted again in 1999, when those problems were long gone for various reasons.

Activision Leads the Way to Freedom

We’re going to take a detour for a moment, into the history of Activision. You know that company now as one of the biggest media companies, let alone video game companies, in the world. It’s a well-known name. Activision has its roots in the time period we’re exploring; in 1979, it was founded by programmers who’d left Atari over a lack of credit given – a lack of true meritocracy. You see, programmers of Atari games were never credited, as there WERE no credits in those games. To boot, there was no kickback if a game you developed sold well. You got no cut, just a (rather modest) salary. Activision was the first third-party development firm in video game history, and it DID credit its developers. Atari attempted to sue and do all kinds of other things to block sales, but eventually even they had to eat humble pie and knuckle to the third party wave. Mattel, maker of the Intellivision, stubbornly held out… and never did much in video gaming after the Intellivision.

When Activision made games like Pitfall, Atari pretty much had to bend over and take it. Activision rubbed Atari’s face in it to the tune of 4 million copies worldwide.

My point here is that, because of how they ran their ships, these captains had regular, quiet mutinies as Activision and other new developers soaked up their talent and directed it elsewhere.

E.T. Phones it In / The Mass Grave in Alamogordo

E.T. The Extraterrestrial is frequently cited as the absolute worst game ever created for a console. It was developed in five and a half weeks, left approximately 3 million copies unsold, and was universally panned by video game critics of the era (as well as modern ones who’ve bravely re-examined it). At the exact moment Atari filled trucks with the E.T. Game cartridge, slapped the backs of them, and shut the gate, they had officially shit the bed with the lights on. They just didn’t know it yet. 

The game was so bad that Atari found itself woefully below their bottom line, with three and a half million unsold cartridges out of four million produced. Not only was Atari in serious financial trouble, but flubbing a sure-ticket licensed game like E.T. Made them look like a draft horse with a shattered leg; anyone they did business with was now considering putting them down out of sheer mercy. Atari also had, well, a metric shit-ton of cartridges to offload somehow. They also had no help doing this; Warner Communications had sold them off. Mommy wasn’t around to clean this mess up.

Alamogordo is a very pretty little town in the Chihuahuan Desert in New Mexico. The scenic Sacramento Mountains border the town to its west, and to its east can be found the White Sands National Monument. Its features include a nearby Air Force base, an amazing zoo, and the corpses of some 700,000 Atari cartridges.

The overwhelming majority are copies of E.T. The Extraterrestrial.

Both he and Elliot look suitably sad. Even remorseful.

Throughout September of 1983, Atari dumped approximately 700,000 cartridges into the dump on the town’s south side. On the 29th of that year, to counter scavenging that had been taking place despite an ordinance banning such, the dump poured a layer of concrete over the buried and crushed games.

They were trying really hard to bury the industry’s biggest turd. But that’s not how the world works. A 2014 documentary, Atari: Game Over, shows the excavation of the long-buried games.

The Aftermath and Epilogue

1983 through 1985 were hard times for video gaming in the US, but the market in Japan was still a fertile ground for ideas. Looking west, companies like Nintendo and Sega had seen what too much “MORE” and not enough “NEW” could do. When Nintendo released the American-market version of their popular Famicom system, the NES… they went gently at first. When soft-launches in NYC and other major markets looked good, the NES (and its contemporaries) waded across the sea to change American gaming forever.

Oh, mighty Saviour!

An era was over, and an era had begun.

Believe it or not, at the time of this writing, we are seeing the eighth generation of home video game consoles. It has been that long.

We’ve seen and experienced a plethora of amazing concepts, innovative ideas, and ultimately spent millions (maybe billions?) of dollars as a civilization on this particular hobby, video gaming. From the early days of the Atari 2600 and the Intellivision, to the glory days of the 8 and 16 bit hit parade, to the transition from cartridge to disc to download… one could say that video games represent their own wonderland for the human spirit.

Even wonderlands have graveyards.

Some of these ideas just didn’t catch on. Be it a glutted market, poor execution of a concept, or even an idea too far ahead of its time, a few consoles have fallen by the wayside, trampled underfoot in the war-march of the gaming industry. The real heartbreak lies in the fact that some of these concepts were even good. However, it can be argued, they were simply not good enough. After all, the market is brutal, and not every idea sticks. Today I will talk about one of the notable losers, one of the ideas that you probably saw… but not for long. Today I bring you…

Generation: 5th

Year Released: 1993

Discontinued: 1996

In the early 90s, things were changing significantly in the home video game world. Companies like Sega and Sony were developing consoles that ran games from a CD-ROM interface, instead of clunky and easily-dirtied cartridges that had limited data storage potential. Sony’s future powerhouse, the Playstation, hadn’t been released yet, but the buzz was everywhere. What had been released was Sega’s CD attachment for its existing Genesis console, and it had gone over very well despite a high price point and an initially limited game library (which quickly grew).

Atari knew it had to cash in! Atari felt it COULD cash in. After all, hadn’t they been the arcade dynamos of the early 80s? Surely there was a place for them among the new stars of this bright era. There had to be. They began R&D on two systems: the never-to-be 32 bit “Panther,” and the 64-bit Jaguar. Both of these projects were farmed out to a company called Flare, which had originally worked on a home arcade system called the Konix Multisystem. Flare had bailed on the Multisystem due to what could be called an overreach; they were shooting to replicate the arcade experience at home… in the early 90s… with an eye on price. Needless to say, with a floppy-disk system and limited RAM, the Multisystem did not take off.

Why Atari saw Flare as a sure winner despite this baffles me.

Sleek. Stylish. Sophisticated. An utter flop.

In their first brilliant move, Flare and Atari decided to go with cartridges. Knowing that their competitors were moving to CDs and doing quite well at it, they decided to try and pack more into a ROM-style cartridge. The controller design is also questionable; I liken it more to a TI-83 calculator than a joystick.

Does this mean I can use it to call Atari’s complaints department?

The system was released in November ’93, and had sold only around 100,000 units by the end of 1994. With only 67 total games in its library, the Jaguar’s selection of games was tiny throughout its first (and formative) years. Flaws in the CPU and UART components of the console contributed to this, as well as third-party developers’ unwillingness to take a risk on making games for a system already doing so poorly on the market.

The system’s belated CD attachment was kind of like putting a truck cap on an El Camino. It also did little to expand the Jaguar’s piss-poor game library.

Despite later attempts to save its flagging sales, which included a CD attachment and even an earnest try at VR technology, the Jaguar never really caught up with the emerging competition. Once the PS1 was released in 1995, sales took an even greater nose dive. In late 1995, Atari even tried infomercials to boost sales. In mid 1996, the Jaguar was laid to rest… and Atari was on the skids too.

It did have a killer BIOS screen though. I like to imagine that Tony Montana would see just this part alone and buy like 20 of them. One for every room in his coke mansion.

There were (and are) some high notes to the console’s ill fated tale. Firstly, its most successful title, Alien vs. Predator, was a notable success. A memorable and underrated entry to the FPS genre, it was an early example of diversity in that category, offering multiple characters for play. It also boasted an incredibly atmospheric setting, both audio- and video-wise.

Another high point would be Tempest 2000, a remake of the 1981 arcade title. This game was originally exclusive to the Jaguar, but was ported once sales began to truly dip. It is widely praised for its soundtrack, and is exhilarating to play even now.

It should also be noted that the Jaguar received ports of two of my favorite games: Wolfenstein 3D and Doom. Both received good reviews on the Jaguar.

The system still maintains a cult following. Hasbro bought Atari in the late 90s, and released the rights to the Jaguar. It is officially an open platform, and interested third parties can develop whatever they like for it. Some of the results can be seen (and grabbed) here.

I’m going to cover this one back up and let it rest in peace, but I’ll see you soon for another edition of Console Graveyard. Thanks for reading!

Arrogance? Wishful thinking? I’d say six of one, half a dozen of the other. Until next time, RetroManiacs!

]]> https://newretrowave.com/2016/03/16/ljph454ovaoyrkcyl6gvru2tbo7k91/feed/ 0 https://newretrowave.com/2015/06/15/gauntlet-atari-1985/ https://newretrowave.com/2015/06/15/gauntlet-atari-1985/#respond Mon, 15 Jun 2015 14:24:34 +0000 http://new-retro-wave.com/2015/06/15/2015615gauntlet-atari-1985/

Where you grew up as a kid probably had an effect on what system you first played a Gauntlet port on. For me, it was the eastern USA, so I played the “illegal” Tengen copy for the NES. Some in Europe played it on the Sega Master System, and some even played it on various PC ports. However, Gauntlet was originally released in 1985 as an arcade game by Atari. I envy you if that’s what you grew up with, as the arcade original really is the best one. Not even later sequels capture the fun of the digitized speech, and the whole thing is its own self-contained experience.

To describe Gauntlet in more modern terms, I’d choose to call it a multiplayer dungeon crawl. You want to get treasure, murder (and avoid being murdered by) monsters, and make it through alive. Gauntlet is a 1 or 2 player game, with 2 player mode having its ups and downs. On the one hand, you’ll be able to survive better fighting hordes of monsters, but you’re also splitting assets (or fighting over them). Each player chooses between 4 different character types: Warrior (high HP and damage), Elf (REALLY fast), Valkyrie (resilient), or Wizard (good magic). Most people end up preferring the Wizard or Elf. I’m an Elf guy myself.

That elf does not have the face of a protagonist. 

Anything goes in Gauntlet. Some power ups grant you bouncing shots or improved damage, but most of what you’ll find in Gauntlet is potions and keys. Potions are more like bombs; they kill all enemies onscreen at the moment the potion is used. Keys, more obviously, open doors. The door/key economy goes up and down throughout the game, but they are always worth picking up. Food and booze can give back health, but a stray shot can destroy food. This can cause arguments, since food is life in Gauntlet. Not to mention how the game reminds you of your mortality by slowly ticking down your life total, even at rest.

All time not spent gathering resources is usually spent finding or making a way through multiple types of baddies. Some have ranged attacks, some do not. All seem to pour endlessly from their little source-hub things. Thankfully, these can be destroyed permanently with a few well placed shots. The same can be said for the monsters, except that there’s so many of them that sometimes you’re simply blasting through them instead of wiping them out. There’s club wielding “grunts,” demon worms, little gnomes that throw rocks at you… I mean, Gauntlet isn’t a friendly place. The game has no actual bosses, but sometimes Death shows up (sometimes in staggering duplicate) to ruin your f*cking day Himself. Only potions can kill Death, who just plods after you and drains away your life by touching you. If you have no bombs, your other option is to just let him drain you until he is sated (this may kill you anyway). If I hadn’t mentioned before, Gauntlet’s a brutal game. It is also a game without its own existential framework; very little plot or story is given. You simply exist, and you plumb the dungeon for wealth at the expense of death. Something for the philosophers out there.

Arcade ad circa 1986

For 1985, the game’s graphics are on the good side. What made Gauntlet stand out was the TMS5220C Speech Chip by Texas Instruments. The announcer’s voice was its own piece of hardware, and a very advanced one for its time. In fact, Gauntlet was Atari’s first coin-operated game to include a voice chip of any kind. That aside, the arcade version of the game doesn’t have much music (but the NES version does). The game’s programming itself is pretty elaborate, even from today’s standards. The franchise has remained strong throughout Atari’s history of ups and downs; sequels can still be found, and they are similar enough to their forebears to be recognizable.

The game was huge in the 80s. It even had t shirts!

Tune in at the end of the month for more sword-and-sorcery mayhem!

]]> https://newretrowave.com/2015/06/15/gauntlet-atari-1985/feed/ 0 https://newretrowave.com/2014/10/13/wretrowave-com201410awkward-silence-master-system-ep-debut-html/ https://newretrowave.com/2014/10/13/wretrowave-com201410awkward-silence-master-system-ep-debut-html/#respond Mon, 13 Oct 2014 22:45:00 +0000 http://new-retro-wave.com/2014/10/13/wretrowave-com201410awkward-silence-master-system-ep-debut-html/

The Master System
by Awkward Silence is in some sense a debut EP. This musical project by actor
James Harris released a sample heavy 90’s rave inspired romp in May, but this
is his first release in this genre. The 90’s sample heavy style seems to peek
its way through more often than not throughout the English actor’s EP.

“Intro” (you get one guess which track number that is) is
the first song of the EP to demonstrate this 90’s electronic aesthetic that
peaks its head. The ominous and atmospheric pads of the track are soon
accompanied by a very acidy 303 arp. This mixture of sounds is actually pretty
interesting and leads to the EPs first of many audio samples.

To listeners more familiar with the meticulously programmed
precision of modern electronic tracks, this EP overall may feel sloppy. This is
due to the sample heavy nature of it. “Don’t Stop the Montage” is noticeably
sample heavy, and it works for some parts of the songs. The sound bites
included in this track show both the good and bad of The Master System. When they work, they have a campiness that
succeeds in creating atmosphere. When it doesn’t work, it is invasive and really detracts from the whole.

“Citizens On Patrol” has my favorite sounds of the release.
The persistent waves of bass synth carry the track. A similar arp to “Intro”
joins the bass and it really makes a fresh and original moment. “Fade Into the
Background” loses a little steam from being a little obtuse in terms of rhythm.
That being said, the lead synth of it is pretty sounding and it has a pretty
successful use of a sound clip.

The penultimate track is a strong one. The melodies are all
pretty intricate but also very accessible and constantly bounce off each other
and harmonize. The female vocal sampling in “Midnight Identity Crisis” is best
of EP and makes me really wish this track had an actual vocal track. “The Final
Escape” (again, guess the track listing) is interesting. A lot of the music we
cover here is excellent as background music or for active listening. “The Final
Escape” doesn’t work very well as background music. It just moves from one idea
to another too quickly. It is, however, an excellent track to actively listen
to and appreciate the pieces of the whole.

The biggest things holding this EP back is the over-reliance
of sound bites and the uneven production quality. The tracks that work here
work really well. This is mainly due to the far-reaching influences Awkward
Silence pulls from. Your interest in this release will ultimately come from
your own views of this musician/fan community. What is this community to you?
This is a serious question, and one I hope to address in a future post. I think
we all define it differently and come to new releases and new artists
differently as a result. First releases in a genre are rarely great, but this
scene is so DIY intensive and communally supportive. We listen. We create. We
share. This EP may have rookie flaws, but it has glimmers of originality that
make me interested in follow up releases.

– Joey Edsall

]]> https://newretrowave.com/2014/10/13/wretrowave-com201410awkward-silence-master-system-ep-debut-html/feed/ 0 https://newretrowave.com/2014/01/24/wretrowave-com201401pixelated-retro-sounds-html/ https://newretrowave.com/2014/01/24/wretrowave-com201401pixelated-retro-sounds-html/#respond Fri, 24 Jan 2014 02:19:00 +0000 http://new-retro-wave.com/2014/01/24/wretrowave-com201401pixelated-retro-sounds-html/

Gamer

Smoke
Signals EP

Gamer,
hailing from New Zealand (the country that has royally bought us
Lorde) have released their second EP “Smoke Signals”.

Stylistically,
as their name implies, Gamer sits at the 8-bit, retro video game end
of the musical spectrum. Drums are suitably simple and rigidly
programmed and the songs are economically constructed. Tracks have
names like ‘Quest’, ‘Turbo’ and ‘Maximum Pursuit’ – these guys like
their video games and the music that goes with it!

The
“Smoke Signals” EP features four tracks. Opening with the
title track, a slow-paced, synth-washed affair that could easily
close-out the end credits of a movie.

‘Winners
Take All’ is high-energy game music that implies you are about to
play a level that involves some quick thinking and sharp skills. Are
you ready to do battle on this special stage, race the track and take
down the opponents in the process? Here we go! The track also
features what sounds like a retro motocross commentary in part.

Next
up is ‘Zeros and Ones’. This is a more conventional sounding ‘song’
with a nice big polysynth sound (presumably a Roland Juno). Adding a
vocal to this song could work well and would turn it into an catchy
pop track.

Closing
the EP is ‘Maximum Pursuit’ which ramps things up. Your challenge is
to catch the offenders (or be caught as the case may be). The music
sets up the scene and even if you crash and burn at least the music
will soften the humiliation of defeat!

One
thing to mention about Gamer is that they also create retro ‘pixel
art’. This results in some excellent visuals to accompany several
of their tracks in the form of animated music videos. The animation
is excellently done in a retro, 8bit video game style. These videos
have an underlying twisted sense of humour with a bizarre range of
ideas and characters – aliens, the Pope, fast cars, guns, medical
experiments…It’s freak out time! The clips are well worth checking
out as they show what Gamer is really about – music and visuals.

Overall
a “Smoke Signals” is a solid follow-up EP to their
self-titled debut. Geographically it is an important release from a
country which is not known for producing a lot of electronic music.
Maybe a Gamer remix of a Lorde track is in order then, or one of
their pixel art music videos – Lorde being dissected by crazy aliens
would really be something!

Gamer
on Bandcamp: http://gamer.bandcamp.com/

Check
them out as “SpaceFader’ on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/user/SpaceFader?feature=watch

Written by

Andrew B White

www.andrewbwhite.com

http://soundcloud.com/lucadiscs

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