ECW was part carnival freak show and part stunt man extravaganza featuring people that you would never imagine fitting into the other two bigger promotions. There was blood and alcohol and violence and top-shelf athleticism and grand spectacle. It wasn’t just the boys either. The women were just as much a part of the drama as anyone else. Who remembers Beulah wrestling Bill Alfonzo?

Todd Gordon and Paul Heyman some how found themselves in the right place and the right time with the right talent and hit the nail on the pulse of a very angst fueled decade. Building a grassroots movement that claimed the whole east coast with a weekly broadcast, pay-per-views, video games and a short tenure on syndicated television. Even well known wrestlers jumped ship and joined the circus: Ravishing Rick Rude, Rey Mysterio, Steve Austen and more. All mixing it up with all-time favorites like The Franchise Sean Douglas, Sabu, Taz, Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman, Terry Funk, The Dudleys, The Gangsters, The Pitbulls, Chris Candido, Lance Storm, RVD and more more more.

Here is a documentary I’ve found in one of my late night insomnia driven journeys through the internet. An indepth documentary interviewing the people that made ECW what is was. An underground force that somehow stole attention away from two multi-million dollar wrestling entities and dictated the direction of the business for years to come. ECW is to wrestling what WU TANG CLAN is to HIP HOP.

Gregg Araki can be at times a polarizing director. Some people just really don’t like his work. I remember browsing for videos at the former KIM’S Video down on ST. MARK’s Place and over hearing the clerks or film hipsters discussing how his films are nonsense and style over substance. And the former may have a bit of truth to it. His films are very colorful and very stylish. However, it’s the subversion that makes it worth it. His films and especially his trilogy are in a way a parody of youth culture in the late 90’s.

The vibrant color pallet acting as a veneer for the disconnected and apathetic teenager of the decade. The Doom Generation was a satire of the Hollywood road movie as Nowhere is a satire of the coming of age teen romantic comedy.

Nowhere starts off like most men start their day – masturbating in the shower. Our love hungry protagonist named simply ‘DARK’ is young, alone and desperate for someone to love him. His journey now seen in retrospect appears sad, depressing and often pathetic but, in 1997 was relatable to a younger me. He is hopelessly in love with a woman who would rather not be in a relationship and juggles between play partners like addicts interchange excuses. He wants all the cliche tropes of romance and she just wants a good time. This dynamic is an obvious role reversal of the classic teen romance. She’s the shallow jock and he’s the awkward teenage girl. More specifically he’s a ‘time hoe’ as Patrice O’Neal once put it in one of his podcast rants.

The world of Los Angeles as it is shown in this film is already past the ground zero of the apocalypse populated by teenagers roaming the streets, boardwalks and coffee houses of the former world looking for kicks and satisfaction. Some scenes are set up to look like Night of the Comet. The color pallet is here and in full bloom with set designs acting as enhancement to the psychological turmoil of these characters like the bedroom of one character on the verge of suicide. And some moments just being blatant obvious metaphors for character motivations like when Dark is literally holding onto a towel that says ‘HOPE’ at Jujyfruit’s house party – The poor bastard is holding onto hope.

Life seems like such a bummer until Dark meets Montgomery and feels somewhat of a connection and love at first sight chemistry with him. Should he stay in a one way relationship or test the waters with this handsome yet dumb blonde he’s just met early that afternoon.

Nowhere stars James Duval as Dark, and co-stars: Rachel True, Kathleen Robertson, Christina Applegate, Scott Caan and Guiermo Diaz with a who’s-who of B-list celebrities from the 90’s. Every scene with have at least two celebrities as minor characters including Shannen Doherty, Charlotte Rae, Debi Mazar, Jordan Ladd, Christina Applegate, Jeremy Jordan, Jaason Simmons, Beverly D’Angelo, Eve Plumb, Christopher Knight, Traci Lords, Rose McGowan, John Ritter, Mena Suvari, Staci Keanan, Devon Odessa, Chiara Mastroianni, the Brewer twins and Brian Buzzini. There’s more but I don’t have the time to list everybody. Favorite characters would have to be the twins played by Ryan Phillippe and Jordan Ladd. The really funny and the type of guy I grew up with people person/drug dealer ‘Handjob’. And of course ELVIS (Thyme Lewis) is the scene stealer every if he’s only in the film for less than ten minutes. The tomato can scene also being blatant metaphor for the action taking place in said scene.

The cinematography was handled by Arturo Smith. The soundtrack to the film featured songs from Slowdive, 311, Radiohead, Elastica, Hole, The Chemical Brothers, Massive Attack, Curve, Lush, Ruby, Marilyn Manson, Chuck D, Suede, James, Portishead and more.

Watch it. Be merry. Be cool. Be swell. Be good. Keep that finger on the rewind button and I’ll see you on the flipside. Be seeing you.

I know everyone right now is celebrating Michael Jackson on his what would’ve been his 60th birthday. Happy Birthday, Jacko. But, I wanted to remember another B-List celebrity of the 1980’s, better known as the host of Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous and the voice behind over the top, cheesey, self-indulgent wealth and celebrity, Robin Douglas Leach.

The loud and charismatic Leach, was born in London and started out as a young editor for his school paper before graduating from and as a local journalist for the Harrow Observer for only a few pounds a week.

He became the youngest “Page One” reporter for the Britain’s Daily Mail before, later moving to the States and worked for publications such as the New York Daily News, People and Ladies Home Journal.

At some point in the nineteen-eighties, Leach became the host and voice behind Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous. Lifestyles was a syndicated series documenting the lives of well-known and (in later seasons)  obscure celebrities and aired from the mid-1980’s all the way into the 90’s when Shari Belafonti was added to the show as his co-host. Shari Belafonti, not a superstar celebrity but obviously recognized as the daughter of Harry Belafonti. An addition that in my eyes was well suited for the show since by this time in the ninties the shows list of stars to showcase started to scrap the bottom of the barrel and almost seem like a parody of itself.

Lifestyles was created by Alfred M. “Al” Masini, who had also created Solid Gold, Entertainment Tonight, and Star Search;all of these were part of his Operation Prime Time project, which he later renamed Television Program Enterprises and later merged with Rysher Entertainment to form Rysher TPE, though Solid Gold or Entertainment Tonight were never syndicated by TPE or Rysher but all 4 are now owned by CBS Television Distribution.”
– https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lifestyles_of_the_Rich_and_Famous

Lifestyles had two spinoff series, Runaway with the Rich and Famous, also hosted by Leach. The series also aired in first-run syndication, from 1986 to 1994. There was also Fame, Fortune and Romance broadcast on ABC from 1986 to 1987. I briefly remember  Runaway but the later “Fame, Fortune,..” I haven’t the slightest recollection of .

The damn show was very aware of itself. The 80’s were all about being unapologetic and reckless with your cash. Excess and lack of consideration for the waste or lack off were the mode. Style over substance and in some cases just style. The celebrities on the show were no different. I remember on episode, it might’ve been centered around a sheikh, member of royalty or some Tony Stark type 1%er that had yachts and a gold toilet. The toilet was made of friggin’ gold. I was under the age of ten years and , no lie, there were two songs that if they started playing, I would run to the television full- speedforce: 1. The Fraggle Rock theme song and Lifestyles. Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe Married with Children and the Robin of Sherwood theme are up there on that list. The theme music was by Bill Conti titled, “Come with me now” from the film Five Days from Home (1979). Another raging tune that would play either during the opening of the show or wit promos of upcoming episodes is “Runaway” from the 1981 James Bond film ‘For Your Eyes Only’.

If there be a collected Blue-Ray of the series, I want one. It’s so dated and a time capsule of an America obsessed with its own vanity and the style and what was considered, “Cool” need to be preserved in the mental  museums of our nostalgia playsets. Pay close attention the expressions of colors, fabrics, neons, shoulder pads, leather slip-on shoes with no socks, silk shirts and at the end of every episode “Champagne wishes and Caviar Dreams”.

The Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host died at the age of 76 on Friday, August 24. The Las Vegas Review-Journal, where he worked as a celebrity columnist, reported that he had been hospitalized since suffering a stroke in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, in November 2017. He had a second and more serious stroke on Monday, August 20. The reporter moved to Las Vegas in 1999 and spent his final years covering local star-studded events. Leach is survived by his sons Steven, Gregg and Rick.

Stay Classy and Elegant and keep your hearts on the Rewind Button.

Anyway, I won’t put any of it in here, because I’m getting to my actual point: the video game industry has its own share of this lowest-common-denominator ramrod surrealism. Images clearly rendered under deadline while suffering from sleep deprivation, questionable pieces of illustration drawn by people who were likely being paid in subway tokens, and even some visual corruptions that will haunt the industry until its death some 5 billion years hence when we are cooked off of this rock by our sun’s death throes.

I will warn you – nay, I admonish thee, brave wanderer. To step forth may cost you your sanity, or worse. I Offer you a garden of unearthly artistic display… some truly ill shit in illustration form.

Tommy LaSorda Baseball

Sega, 1989

You know that it is daytime – the sun is high and bright, throwing all into stark contrast – but you do not know the day. The blurred lines of a baseball stadium form a primordial, half-shaped, Archean terrain in the background… and yet you cannot look at the background. You cannot look at anything but Tommy fucking LaSorda. OR IS IT?

His eyes, lazy and half-closed, fix on you and do not look away. His teeth, jutting from his mouth in an expression halfway between a smile and a predatory sneer, are perfect. Fuck, they are IMMACULATE, like something unused and unspoiled. Something there just for looks. Tommy’s skin bears a striking resemblance to silicon; like the “flesh” of the god-awful robots our postmodern pervert tinkers craft in the human image, Tommy’s flesh is new. You see now that he is not sweating… but you are sweating.

“Play a little catch?” he tips his head ever so slightly as his mouth releases the tinny sound of words. You cannot run. You feel pressure and then blackness engulfs you.

Why not just use a photo? It’s not like there’s any shortage of photographs wherein LaSorda is at least prominently featured, if not the subject of said photograph. I am chalking this one up as an act of psychological warfare, Sega.

Crack Down

also Sega, 1989

Two very greasy and ruddy men stand proudly before the Prince of Evil himself, Satan. They can barely keep it together… in fact, they’ve decided to just push it to the max. The Guy on the right is pooping; don’t say that he’s doing anything else, I won’t believe you. That man is filling his pants with hot sod while he empties his magazine and his under-slung grenade launcher at the same time. Dude on the left has better self-control when it comes to bathroom action, and has settled for filling the air with rounds from his M60. Satan has seen this shit before, and so has his buddy the mouth-breathing orangutan. Besides, just five minutes ago they polished off a fat bowl in the explosion-castle and it’s kicking in T-minus right fucking now.

What the fuck is even supposed to be in the ripoff Stormtrooper’s hands? What is he brandishing? A road flare? My point is that no one knows what they’re doing and clearly no one’s “cracking down” on jack shit.

Mega Man

Capcom, 1987

I wanted to take another look at this. I mean, how can’t we? Eyes red from crying all night, riding high on the power only a man with a gun can know (and also more cocaine than is reasonable), Rock searches the uptown terraces of Purple City for the bomber whose reign of terror has claimed so many lives.

“I’ll find you!” he howls, cranking his little-kid arms back in teeth-grinding rage. “Goddamn it, why can’t I PULL MY RIGHT LEG OVER BY MY LEFT!” No one hears Rock but the colossal palm trees and the God that made him a boy-sized android.

I fucking WISH Mega Man was like this. Like Blade Runner mixed with 10 to Midnight. Scare my shit right out. Show me what real life is like, for great justice.

This one’s bizarre and completely detached from its parent concept, but I love it and I will probably print it out into a 24×36 to put on the wall.

Third World War

Micronet, 1993

There are so many details about this that are haunting. I’m not even sure where to begin. Wait, yes I am. The first thing I reflexively hate about this is the unbridled look of smug elation on both mens’ unthinkable faces. I’m not trying to make a partisan political statement by declaring my hate for Bill Clinton; this image did the mental legwork for me and even if he spent 24 hours a day every day pouring trash bags full of money into orphanages it wouldn’t un-burn this into me. At least you can’t see the raw menace in Saddam’s eyes. Bill is rendered in such a way that, while this is unmistakably him, it is also clearly not him. It is a spirit from the netherworld given flesh, and it thinks this whole thing is funny.

They are both impossibly huge, looming over the cities of Earth as a… what looks like also Earth somehow keeps a tight orbit. Hussein and Wendigo-Bill are the means of Change, the Makers of the Way, everywhere and everywhen. They have made this moment as they want it to be, and you will envy the dead.

Custer’s Revenge

Mystique, 1982

It says “Swedish Erotica” on it but I refuse to accept that this could happen anywhere but America.

George Armstrong Custer (1839-1876), despite his justifiably controversial legacy, was a well-respected cavalry officer who played a pivotal role for the Union in the Civil War. He died at age 36 at the Battle of Little Bighorn – a violent death fit for a man who lived by the sword.

I’d like to be able to show him this shit right now.

Somewhere in the flats of the Vaporwave Desert, a vector-shaded Native American woman struggles against her bonds. It seems that someone has tied her to a gigantic can of spraypaint. Was it Custer?

It probably was. He clunks up in his oversized boots, like a son wearing his father’s shoes to be cute. Looking like some kind of plucked-chicken goblin, Custer makes sure to strike a pose that shows off how his butt is just two large potatoes flecked with beard stubble. DOES HE SHAVE HIS ASS? WHY?

Better wear your gloves, man. Wouldn’t want to touch anything with your hands. Just your… everything else.

Obviously we can get all social justice on this, and we’d be absolutely right to. Unfortunately, the harm’s already done, and I dragged this back out to re-live it. I can apologize, but will that mend what is riven? God no, and it’s compounded by the fact that Custer is TERRIFYING. Naked dress-up Chucky with a boner.

Okay, we’re done. I will review a nice cutesy Japanese game next month. We will recover. I’m sorry and I love you.

Well, you had three options. The first was talking to your dumb-ass friends about it. This has varying appeal, depending on who your “friends” are and how lousy their taste is. You could also check out grainy, tiny screenshots in ads, or on the game’s back cover. The problem here was, a lot of what ends up there is subject to change, as the ad copy and dressing is usually done in advance of the release.

Then there’s the real knee-jerk way, the “intuitive” lie we’ve all told ourselves before: judging the book (video game) by its cover.

Regardless of the quality of any given game, there was an era in the 80s and 90s where box art could make or break counter sales of a game. No punches were pulled. The phenomenon produced some real horrible shit, but we also saw some undoubted masterpieces. I’ve chosen five of them to look at this time over, and will probably do this again in the future… it was hard to narrow it down, so I chose five that impacted me as a young man that still hold a striking presence now, to the adult me.

I would like to note that the order is not a ranking. I would not dare to do that with raw visual art; each piece should really stand or fall on its own merit. I should also note that, while I made an attempt to credit individual artists, that information can sometimes be tricky to get ahold of. If you see a mistake or missing information, feel free to contact me or message our Facebook page. I have also not strictly grabbed the art as it is off the box; if I found a higher resolution or better version of that same art in a flyer, ad, or elsewhere, then I have used that.

Argus no Senshi/Rygar

Year: 1986

Artist: Unknown; if you know, please contact me

Click to enlarge!

Not one single bit of anything happening here is soft, gentle, kind, or anything less than a testament to divinely-inspired violence. There is a gigantic, demonic lion-person leering and reaching from the heavens. Rygar, having just decapitated some manner of ogre-beast in his endless quest for monster blood, holds up his trophy to the sky-lion and roars back in defiance. The bodies of other unthinkable creatures lie submissive and vanquished before him. Rygar will not bow to any being… no god, lion, or demon. If you would have Rygar, then descend from your sickly-green heaven and come take him! He will add your ridiculous head to his collection.

Seriously, there is nothing truly lacking here, except that Rygar’s weaponry is a bit dishonestly represented. I can’t even fault it, though, because it’s under-represented, leaving the pleasant and brutal surprise for when you play the game.

Exile: Wicked Phenomenon

Year: 1992

Artist: Vic Ireland

Click to Enlarge (it’s pretty big).

This one probably took a lot of time and talent, and it shows… this art is sufficiently dream-haunting that for a while I set that face as the image to show when my phone alarm went off. That way, I heard loud noise, picked up my phone, saw THAT, and was jolted awake by two senses instead of just one.

I hazard to say that the art is better than the game, which is okay if not a little slow-moving and unnecessarily inflated in terms of storyline. The game is immaterial. From the floor-fog to the lighting to the soulless, predatory eyes of the face in the wall, you know a dark story lies inside that game box.

Heretic

Year: 1994

Artist: Gerald Brom

Click to Enlarge!

Brom has gotten the nod for tons of art any gamer or fantasy fan has doubtless seen; just google “gerald brom art” and toodle around for a while. You’ll recognize plenty. I have always loved this particular work of his, for several reasons. Firstly, it accurately depicts the world of Heretic as a dark, dying realm where little hope exists. The only strong light source in the picture is the mage’s spell ripping into one of the undead warriors. Secondly, the mage’s face is perfect. It’s this exact blend of grim hardness, sheer terror, and arcane focus. I also love how the focal point of the image is twofold: the mage himself and the bolt of magical energy he is casting. It all seems initially off-balance to one side, but the dynamic movement implied in the figures present makes everything seem to fit right where it is. Lastly, something about these skeletons just looks punk rock as fuck to me. I’m into the undead as antagonists in any medium or genre; it’s even better when they look like extras from Return of the Living Dead.

Wolfenstein 3D

Year: 1992

Artist: Ken Rieger

Click to Enlarge!

I’ve mentioned this one before. This is an image that transcends what it is meant to depict and shows us a glimpse of what lies in one single moment of violence. A Nazi guard is sprawled on the floor, his vividly red blood spattered across the cobblestones as he gasps his last “mein lieben.” BJ Blazkowicz roars in brute triumph as he unleashes the full power of an impossibly huge chaingun on out-of-frame foes who are likely in the throes of Biblical-level terror. Nazi imprisonment has not weakened any part of the animal that is BJ; his instincts, supernatural physique, and bloodlust are every bit as powerful as they were when the Krauts lucked out and caught him. Now he’s going to singlehandedly send each one of them to the mockery of Valhalla reserved for such villains.

When you sit down to craft a piece like this, it’s ballsy to take the perspective of “sort-of underneath the guy.” You could end up with an image framing a crotch, or one that’s just unappealing. Rieger nailed this. He knew he had to show BJ Blazkowicz the way most mortals should see him: as if looking up into the stratosphere, to see where the divine scream of vengeance was coming from.

Castlevania/Akumajo Dracula/Vampire Killer

Year: 1986-87

Artist: surprisingly, I could not find this information.

IF YOU CLICK IT, IT GETS BIGGER

Looming above everything else, above and beyond the decrepit castle on the cliff, sneering arrogantly at the young man with a whip, we see Dracula. The Prince of Undeath. An ancient, horribly potent, and unsinkable evil. Standing defiantly below, we see Simon Belmont: the man who has come not only to kick Dracula’s shit in, but to do it with a whip.

There’s not a lot I can say here… this image has become iconic as a symbol of the protagonist/antagonist struggle that defines most platform games of the era. The player is presented with the bold but intangible outline of a villain supposedly beyond defeat, and given control of a modestly-depicted hero to get the job done. In the end, it turns out that legends die hard… but they can die. Even the vibrant streak of sky-hues across the middle of the picture doesn’t clash; it fits in and even adds to the tone of grey struggle. With eyes that sparkle like a cat’s, Dracula taunts not only Simon, but the potential player. As with its music, the art of the Castlevania franchise is consistently top-notch. This image set the standard.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this look at some of the indelible images that played a part in our hobby’s history. I will be back with more. Thank you so much for reading.

The art created by 1970’s and 80’s artist Patrick Nagel has been a massive influence in the scene. His overwhelmingly popular art continues to resonate throughout the New Retro Wave area, as some modern artists and mediums of art allude to his classic vibrant style.

Nagel’s art composed of bald, elegant and vibrant illustrations of females, donning sophistication, mysteriousness and attention drawing expressions, reminiscent of expressionistic art of the 1920’s and 1930’s.

Elena G. Millie, a curator of Nagel’s work, best summarizes his style:

“At any time there are a few who give form and meaning to their generation. Patrick Nagel’s emergence as one of these gifted few stemmed from his unique vision of the contemporary woman: She is elegant and sophisticated, exuding an air of mysterious enticement. She is capable, alluring and graceful, but also aloof and distant. You will never know this woman, though she stares out of the Nagel frame straight at you, compelling you to become involved, challenging you to an intense confrontation.”
–    Elena G. Millie, Obtained from arthistoryarchive.com, July 2017

Mystery was the key element of Nagel’s art – the key theme that his contemporaries adopted, and an intrinsic theme that stays strong within the retrowave aesthetic.

1969 would see the start to his career, graduating with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from California State University. He would later pick up a career in 1971 at ABC-TV, detailing graphics for channel promotions.

Arthistoryarchive.com have lorded him as a “Playboy art icon”, as he designed for the popular magazine throughout the mid to late 1970’s, however his place in the history of Retrowave is much more significant, with his art continuing to resonate throughout the New Retro Wave movement.

(Image from catawiki.com, NAGP 89 “The Playboy Portfolio II”, Nagel)

In the movement, Nagel is an unsung icon, creating works just before the vibrancy of the 90’s, during a time of great expressionism that would segway into the Pop-art era, taking art into an undefined territory. Today, this has made its way into our familiar minds.

There is no denying that Nagel’s art was a massive influence upon the 2015 Comedy Central production Moonbeam city – the show created by Scott Gairdner encapsulates many facets of the movement, through a nostalgic Miami-Vice theme, however the distinctive character illustrations and some of the execution of colour is a direct throw to the art of Nagel.

Photo from “Moonbeam City Trailer” (August 20, 2015), on YT Channel JoBlo TV Show Trailers, Show by Comedy Central

Album covers of our contemporaries often take a trend of throwing back to the art of Nagel, adapting it to further fit the aesthetic. The album cover of ALEX’s 2017 EP Youth takes on a Nagel-ic design, adding colour to the portrayal of the woman, along with greater detail of the hair, with shadow effects. Trevor Something’s “Trevor Something Does Not Exist” in 2014 took a similar artistic direction with its album cover.

Album cover of ALEX’s “Youth”  (2017) – Art by Jacqueline Ruther, Mizucat. Image from YT Channel NRW Records.

Album cover of Trevor Something’s “Trevor Something Does Not Exist” (2014), Art by Ariel Zucker, Image from YT Channel New Retro Wave.

Soundcloud and Bandcamp synthwave artist SelloRekT/LA Dreams (https://ladreams.bandcamp.com/track/nagel-girl) is also responsible for a nod to Nagel with song titled “Nagel Girl”. The song matches Nagel’s art well.

Photofrom SelloRekT/LA Dreams’ Bandcamp, “Nagel Girl”

In another area, the song “Desire – Under your spell” on Youtube has a throw to the art of the era. Popularised by 2011’s Drive, the fan-made music video uses Nagel-like imagery to be synced to the song – although the art is by Roy Lichtenstein, a contemporary of Nagel, synthesising a comic book-esk and pop art-ish aesthetic, the resemblance is noticeable, further cementing in place the impact of Nagel’s contemporaries. Needless to say, Lichtenstein has his own place in artistic history. The synths of the song throw in Nagel’s direction, but let’s not forget his contemporaries.

Photo from “Desire – Under Your Spell” (November 22, 2010), on YT Channel The Prismer, art by Roy Lichtenstein

Artists that explored this area as Nagels contemporaries and after Nagel’s untimely death include Carlos Sanchez, Dennis Mukai and Luis Preciado, who each added their own flavour to the artsphere.

“Thrill Me” by Carlos Sanchez

“Thrill Me” by Carlos Sanchez

“Special Friend” by Dennis Mukai

“Special Friend” by Dennis Mukai

“Genevieve” by Luis Preciado

“Genevieve” by Luis Preciado

It’s likely to say that Patrick Nagel has influenced the artistic direction of the movement greatly, adding mystery, sophistication and enticement that modern contemporaries have taken on board immensely.

Article by Zac Kelly.

The arcade… dark, weird lighting. Gnarly carpeting. An omnipresent riot of sound and color as you walked in and wrapped yourself in the electronic arms of sweet, sweet diversion. For many of us RetroFans, it’s a golden, soft-glow set of memories we keep well-polished and stored within our minds’ more secure vaults. Some of us were around in the late 70s and early 80s, when titles like Space Invaders and Donkey Kong were waving the banner of arcade gaming’s golden age. More of us remember the era when arcades saw some shrinkage; my own formative exposure to the format was in the smaller realms tucked into the side areas of bowling alleys and the nooks of theme restaurants. The early 90s saw the Neo Geo and a host of other innovative releases, breathing some life into the old arcade room… but nonetheless, the sad truth is that the phenomenon has continued to deflate over time (except in Japan, where it’s kept vigorously alive).

I consider myself lucky to have been an awe-struck young man in my pre-pubescent years when the early 90s brought us a small revival of the arcade. My venues were still within the greater confines of bowling alleys and Chuck E Cheeses, but the games we were playing in those places made it feel like its own circus… its own arena. Everyone can think of a couple off the top of their heads, and while I’ve already had the honor of discussing the gems like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter II, I hope a few of you will recall the games I’ll highlight in this article. Many are both bizarre and wonderful, like our first childhood crush or that recurring dream we had about MC Hammer growing to Godzilla size and destroying our hometown with his brutal dance moves (was that just me?), but it didn’t stop us from throwing quarters or tokens in to give them a shot.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Developer: Midway

Released: October 31, 1991

Everyone just about lost their shit when the Terminator sequel came out. At least that’s what I remember. It had a good-guy Terminator, an even worse bad guy Terminator, and more catastrophic violence than a train wreck giving birth to a nuclear detonation with no epidural. Even though it was way rated R, we all did what we had to do to see it, and whoa… it was nuts. It even sort of made Guns n Roses cool (who am I kidding, a lot of us misguidedly loved them anyway). On Halloween of ’91, we got to live the whole thing out in one of the better shooter-style arcade games of its time. The demo sequence claimed that the game was also rated R, for Righteous. No shit.

No need to label what specific type of weapons are in the crates. You’ll find out when you blast them open with all your gunpower. The enemy T-800 has gone so far as to ignore the hated humans behind it to focus on you, who are known as Machine Judas. SkyNet wept.

T2‘s difficulty was harsh, but it was still a blast to see how long you could last on the battlefields of 2029 against your loyalist robot kin and the massive death machines they served. Some of us even got really sharp and made it back to John Connor’s 1995… but I never did. Not even with 2 players. No matter what, the game’s graphics were super-crisp and it had a ton of really fun digitized voice clips in it. I for one couldn’t help but get into it.

Captain America and the Avengers

Developers: Data East, Realtime Associates

Released: 1991

This is one I dutifully played the absolute shit out of. I was huge into superheroes as a kid, both Marvel and DC (but a little more Marvel, and I’ve never been able to fully articulate why), and I was thrilled to see The Avengers when it first arrived at the smoky bowling alley my family frequented. They wanted to bowl? That’s fine, suckers are born every minute. I wanted to stop the fucking Red Skull.

Vision and Hawkeye stand fascinated as Mandarin shows them his special squat thrusts for keeping his glutes “mandariffic.” Captain America, always the histrionic one, shows off his vertical leap. Iron Man stares at nothing, thinking about his offshore accounts.

While the ports of the game got mixed reception, the arcade version itself is often praised as a classic beat ’em up. I liked it because four of us disinterested junior bowlers could play at a time, and I could play as Vision, whom I found fascinating as a superhero. The team plows through an army of generic robots and lesser villains to chase after the Red Skull, even making a foray into space and some other bizarre places in the Marvel Universe. Each character has melee and ranged options, and you can even hoist a motherfucker and throw him into another motherfucker. That was my go-to move. The graphics were great, fitting the comic book source material wonderfully; the sound and music was almost honest-to-god inspiring. “AMERICA STILL NEEDS YOUR HELP!” Well shit, I’d better pop some more tokens in.

WWF WrestleFest

Developer: Technos Japan

Released: 1991

“Jesus, dude, shut up about all these goddamned wrestling games!” No, though, because this one is incredible. You don’t even have to be a wrestling fan to get into it. Technos had released WWF Superstars in ’89, which did pretty well, and they took everything they learned from that in ’91 and produced an incredible mat-fighting arcade game.

Ultimate Warrior adds “slapped half-dead by a fat guy” to his resume, while Hogan and half of each featured tag team use Mr Perfect as a boat to cross an imaginary Potomac. Hogan, of course, is Washington!

The legendary Road Warriors/Legion of Doom are the “boss” characters in this one, replacing Andre the Giant and Ted DiBiase in Superstars. You can team up with a friend or go it alone in various match types, but it was easily the most fun to try for the tag team titles against Hawk and Animal (who were fucking impossible to beat unless you had a grocery bag full of change). Team-up moves, berserk tag-ins, and digitized announcing from Mike McGuirk and Gene Okerlund make this a bona fide classical-era WWF product. The graphics are a little goofy, but they’re good for the format; the action doesn’t suffer. While the actual “Sport” may be choreographed or pre-determined, WWF WrestleFest isn’t short on real entertainment.

Lethal Enforcers

Developer: Konami

Released: October 8th, 1992

This time period was also all about controversy. Lethal Enforcers didn’t become quite as notorious as games like Doom or Mortal Kombat, but it did cause quite a stir upon its release. Konami’s action-cop shooter game had photo-realistic graphics (for its time) and was somewhat intense. It didn’t matter to the self-appointed moral crusaders of the era if you were the good guy or not; they were pissed that you were shooting at an animation of an actor dressed as a stereotypical goon.

Aside form all that, the game is immersive and pulse pounding. Split second decisions must be made as you confront thugs with hostages, fleeing civilians, and lightning fast criminals. You can easily lose the game, in fact, if you’re not precisely accurate in order to avoid harming the innocent. There’s chase scenes, power-ups that give you guns the police definitely shouldn’t have, and even “training stages” that lighten things up while still maintaining the theme. Aside from the great visuals, the music kicks ass and Lethal Enforcers is another game that heavily incorporates digitized samples. I liked this one enough to get the Genesis version a couple years later, and it was pretty faithful to the source.

Virtua Fighter

Developer: Sega (Sega AM2)

Released: October 1993

You were wondering why I was studiously avoiding fighting games in this particular article… I was saving this one for last. With the dawn of Virtua Fighter, the whole playing field of the genre was changed. Virtua Fighter wasn’t just showing us 3D polygon-based graphics, which we still considered pretty far-out and futuristic; the revolutionary fighter was making an earnest (and effective) attempt at fluid realism in its characters’ moves and techniques.

The “Model 1” hardware rig used for the game was jointly developed by Sega and Lockheed Martin. Yes, Lockheed fucking Martin the aerospace firm. The people who have a knee-deep resume of building cutting edge military technology. This hardware not only handles the revolutionary 3D rendering, but also allows for stunningly realistic movement and nearly true-to-life physics. The game’s plot was minimal and loosely resembled those of its ancestors, but literally no one cared. The game has spawned a thriving franchise that has continued to break ground in its genre. I remember seeing this shit and thinking to myself, “it’s pretty cool to live in the future.”

Towards the middle of the decade, the phenomenon of the arcade took a sullen plunge once more, though it’s remained alive through the 00’s and 10’s (or at least its heart beats). Our friends in the far East keep things going, and there’s of course been a small resurgence here as the retro gaming movement has gotten wind under its wings.

Between the years that the market drank Atari, and the years of the rise of the sons of Sony… there was an age undreamed of.

Thank you for reading! See you in June! Stay Retro!

Then there’s a little series that came on HBO in 1989 and opened it all up into a bloody mess… Tales from the Crypt.

The original brain-seed for the series was one of a set of comic book series from the 1950s; Tales from the Crypt ran 27 bi-monthly issues from 1950 to 1955 that broke rules even back then. In fact, Bill Gaines (The publisher, who ran EC Comics, the imprint under which the horror comics were produced) was among those called to testify in the highly-publicized 1954 Senate Subcommittee hearings that resulted in the Comics Code Authority we know today. While gone, the comic was far from forgotten, and had a lasting influence on a generation of future storytellers. Publisher Russ Cochran has overseen several reprints of the original EC line, and EC itself eventually doubled down on another title in its repertoire… MAD Magazine.

This is the issue where Crime Patrol went completely out the window and starting being about werewolves and shit. History, needless to say, was made.

It’s worth noting that, in 1972, Amicus Films produced a Tales from the Crypt movie. While it isn’t incredible, it’s still pretty good, and stars Peter Cushing, Joan Crawford, and has Ralph Richardson as the Crypt Keeper. The film was a modest success; it spawned a sequel (named after another EC horror title, Vault of Horror) in 1973. For a good while afterward, the crypt was quiet. The dead slept.

Cushing as the undead Mr. Grimsdyke, Richardson as the Crypt Keeper, and the typically cheesy 70s-style titles of the 1972 film.

Then suddenly, in mid-1989, commercials began to air on pay-cable channel HBO…

I still remember these commercials chilling my young blood. My first sight of the undead host had me both horrified and fascinated… I could barely stand to look into his perfect blue eyes, but I had to know more.

On the left, you have the Crypt Keeper as he appeared from 1950 to 1955 in the comics. On the right, you have him in 1989 on the TV show. Clearly, 34 years can do a lot.

The Crypt Keeper was designed and built by Kevin Yagher, a special FX artist famous for his work on Nightmare on Elm Street 2 though 4, Child’s Play, and other horror blockbusters. The puppet required a team of puppeteers to operate, including a rig to handle the intricate facial movements that made him seem all too real. The voice of the undead storyteller was provided by John Kassir, a talented voice actor whose work you’ve definitely heard if you’ve ever watched cartoons. Kassir adopted a high, rich but reedy tone for the Crypt Keeper’s speech, providing an odd touch of class while remaining insidious. The end result had long lasting psychological impact on me as a kid; I found the Crypt Keeper both terrifying and fascinating due to how real he seemed, how lifelike the movements of his dead face and body looked.

Left to Right: Puppeteer Brock Winkless showing off the electronics used for manipulating CK’s ghastly facial movements; a diagram showing how his body was animated; and his creator, Kevin Yagher, creeping in for a selfie with the decayed horror host.

This isn’t to say the content of the show itself wasn’t also amazing. There are plenty of episodes that come off as corny, but even those have value; what truly stand out are the episodes with all-star casts that tell memorable stories and contain innovative film work or FX. I’d like to note that while the ones I mention are my favorites, they are far from the only ones worth seeing; I advise anyone who hasn’t had a look to seek out the DVDs or Blu-Rays… and a little bird told me some episodes might be on YouTube… there are few episodes that don’t have something to like.

My man was a big star for a while. He had his own TV show for 7 seasons, rubbed elbows with celebrities, and even had an action figure made in his likeness. But stars have the farthest to fall. Still… that is a killer tux. Unknown Hinson either loaned that to him or is envious of it. I’ll bet anything on that.

Season 1 starts off slow, with a few real clunkers, but two episodes deserve notice. One is actually the very first episode, “The Man Who Was Death.” It stars William Sadler as the man who pulls the switch in a penitentiary’s Death Row; he loses his job due to the repeal of the death penalty and decides to keep doing his work freelance. The episode is excellent not only for Sadler’s top-notch performance, but because it sets the tone for many tales to come; Without spoiling too much, the executioner gets his just desserts in a truly ironic twist of events. “And All Through the House” is another noteworthy episode, starring Mary Ellen Trainor (the mom from Goonies) as an unscrupulous wife who kills her husband, with the legendary and late Larry Drake (Dr. Giggles) as the psycho Santa who interrupts her insidious plan. These two episodes set the bar for the series moving forward.

Season 2’s most notable episode is “The Switch,” directed by none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger himself. William Hickey plays an old millionaire who is deeply infatuated with a beautiful young lady (played by 80s-90s bombshell Kelly Preston). He has a doctor replace parts of his body with those of a young man named Hans when the young lady claims to like fit men; Once he’s bankrupted himself to gain the bodybuilder’s form, she decides she’s attracted to money instead… and walks off with the now-shriveled bodybuilder, who has the millionaire’s body… and his millions. Schwarzenegger makes a cameo appearance in the Crypt Keeper segments, starting a trend that would continue as stars occasionally hammed it up with the old corpse. Episode 14, “Lower Berth,” tells a tale of circus freaks, love, violence… and the origin of a certain famous horror host… It isn’t particularly innovative or memorable on its own, but “Lower Berth” is still noteworthy for more great FX work.

Yes, that’s a baby Crypt-Keeper. Yes, this one’s based on a story from the comics where they find a baby Crypt Keeper. And yes… this was a choice they made.

The series began to hit its stride in Season 3, and three episodes immediately came to mind that show how versatile Tales from the Crypt was becoming in terms of the stories told. “Carrion Death” features Kyle MacLachlan as an escaped convicted killer, an unusual but well-played role for him. He and the police officer who tries to bring him in (George DelHoyo) are the only characters seen onscreen… unless you count the vultures in the desert that serves as the episode’s grim setting. “Yellow,” one of my favorite episodes, could well be considered one of the best in the entire series. Set during World War I (Specifically 1918), this episode is less horror than it is a wartime morality play. Kirk Douglas plays a general whose son (Eric Douglas) is a lieutenant under him during some of the war’s worst trench fighting. Sadly, the apple has fallen far from the tree, and the general must face the humiliating truth that his son is a coward. Lance Henriksen and Dan Aykroyd play supporting roles, and I don’t need to tell you that the acting is superb throughout. One could even consider it supplemental viewing for the WWI drama Paths to Glory, also starring Kirk Douglas. “The Reluctant Vampire” stars Malcolm MacDowell as a bloodsucker who gets his fix by working as the night watchman at a blood bank. The episode also stats George Wendt (Cheers) as the blood bank manager and Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes) as Dr. Rupert van Helsing. It’s a bit more of the black humor than the horror, but the episode is charming and hard not to enjoy.

Season 4 continues the hit parade, and its sixth episode, “What’s Cookin,” stars Christopher Reeve, Judd Nelson, and Meal Loaf in a story about a restaurant owner’s quest to find the perfect dish… at any costs. “Split Personality” features Joe Pesci as a con-man who pursues a pair of knockout twins by pretending to be a pair of twins himself. Let’s just say it doesn’t work out for him, and he finds himself torn between the lovely girls! “Werewolf Concerto” plays out a lot like a good mystery, eventually pitting a monstrous lycanthrope (Timothy Dalton) against a clever vampiress (Beverly D’Angelo) at its conclusion. This episode also stars Dennis Farina, Reginald VelJohnson, and even Wolfgang Puck as the other guests at the resort where the monster battle goes down.

The fifth season has less to offer overall, but contains two episodes worth discussing. The first, “Death of Some Salesmen,” is a testament to the versatility and talent of an actor some of us may be familiar with… one Tim Curry. Curry plays all three members of a deranged family who kidnap and eventually serve twisted justice to a crooked salesman played by Ed Begley Jr. Not only is the performance by Tim Curry the stuff of legend, but the camerawork is excellent as well, deftly maintaining the illusion that these are three separate people and not one amazingly talented actor. A cameo by Yvonne DeCarlo (The Munsters) caps this off as another of my favorites in the series. Also notable is “Oil’s Well That Ends Well,” a crime story about a set of swindlers who really have it in for each other over a bit of bubbling crude. One of them has a distinctive laugh you may have heard in the series… in fact, you’ve heard it often.

Season 6 and 7 are when Tales from the Crypt began its decline; there were still episodes worth watching, but they became fewer and further between. One is Season 6’s “You, Murderer,” which stars John Lithgow, Isabella Rossellini, Sherilyn Fenn… and Humphrey Bogart. The FX crew didn’t need a shovel or a necromancer to put Bogie onscreen; the episode was an experiment in then-blossoming digital video technology. We see Bogart’s face through reflections in mirrors, glass, and elsewhere… but barely do we ever see things outside his own point of view, which is how the story is framed. It’s all done very skillfully, and remains an excellent example of good digital film work to this day. Lastly, Season 7 contains the only animated episode, “The Third Pig,” a much more… well, adult retelling of the classic “three little pigs” story. The antagonist, the Big Bad Wolf, is voiced by none other than Bobcat Goldthwait.

TFTC also put its name on a trio of films; two are pretty decent and one is absolutely terrible. Demon Knight, released by Universal in 1995, features William Sadler as a good guy this time, a nearly-immortal soldier keeping a sacred vial of blood safe from demons who want to rule the Earth. Billy Zane plays the human-seeming leader of these evil creatures as they lay siege to an old hotel Sadler’s character has been cornered inside of. Jada Pinkett plays the young woman who eventually inherits the guardianship and ends the demon problem… for the time being. While it isn’t a classic at any rate, Demon Knight is worth a watch, and has some great FX as well as a few solid scares.

Billy Zane as the most charming demon you’ll ever meet. Zane easily steals the show, as evidenced in this supercut of his performance for the film.

Bordello of Blood (1996) is about vampire whores, and stars Dennis Miller as a private investigator trying to get to the bottom of a young man’s disappearance. Erika Eleniak, Corey Feldman, and Chris Sarandon also star in the bizarre black comedy film. Aubrey Morris plays a secondary role as the mortician whose business conceals the bloodsucker brothel, and the vampires are led by none other than 90s model-actress Angie Everheart. Everheart’s performance is decidedly wooden, but everyone else does a fantastic job making this one fun. Miller’s style of comedy is admittedly not everyone’s taste, but his co-stars make up for him by playing decent foils to his constant referential comedy. All said and done, this one bombed at the box office.

This shot typifies the movie. Angie Everheart delivers some flat-as-a-board line in her best “sexy” voice and Dennis Miller replies with something… very Dennis Miller. There is a badass vampire-destruction sequence (NSFW – TITS) in the middle and the FX are better than okay, but audiences didn’t care for this one.

Ritual (2002) started off not even bearing the TFTC imprint. RKO’s final film, it stars Tina Grey (Dirty Dancing) and Tim Curry in a clumsy jaunt through medicine, money, and the supernatural. Grey plays a medical professional who loses her license and takes a job on an island as a young man’s nurse. She comes to suspect, over time, that he is under someone else’s influence. Universal and Miramax bandied back and forth about who would own and release this movie, and if the Tales from the Crypt dressing would even grace it… the end result is a set of endcaps hosted by an incredibly shitty version of the puppet. He looks horrible, moves horribly, and even sounds horrible because of the affected accent. It’s an atrocity. It makes me sad that this was the note RKO died on.

All I’m going to show you is the cover of the DVD release, and even that’s a goddamn disaster. If you insist on hurting yourself, I’m pretty sure this one’s on YouTube, and the owners of the intellectual property don’t give a shit because they know they created a masochist’s playground.

In July of 1996, TFTC was canceled. It was felt, perhaps rightfully, that the show had run its due course. The franchise lingered on for a while; there was a childrens’ version of the show (and an accompanying line of action figures), a Nickelodeon-style game show, and even a radio show in 2000 for Seeing Ear Theater. The Crypt Keeper hosted a couple events, notably 2013’s New Years Eve celebration on FEARnet (warning, pathetic)… but he wasn’t his old self. The wonders of the original puppet were lost, replaced by a cheap and toylike mannequin that barely moved.

Speaking of toys… this guy’s been with me since I was 11. When I go places, sometimes I pack him for good luck. And oh boy… has he been places. Also, shut up, the bathroom has the best lighting for shitty photos taken with a cell phone.

But let’s not remember that. Let’s remember the music video that shows him ogling a woman’s ass and using turntables.

Left to right: CK and Tom Hanks wonder what it must be like to be Tom Hanks; Whoopi stops in on CK’s talk show to set him straight; Arnold tries to put some meat on those old bones, to no avail.

Let’s remember one of CK’s trademarks: His terrible, awful puns.

Thanks for reading, Fright Fiends! October’s still got plenty of chills and thrills for the RetroMonster in all of you. Beware the full moon…

Believe it or not, at the time of this writing, we are seeing the eighth generation of home video game consoles. It has been that long.

We’ve seen and experienced a plethora of amazing concepts, innovative ideas, and ultimately spent millions (maybe billions?) of dollars as a civilization on this particular hobby, video gaming. From the early days of the Atari 2600 and the Intellivision, to the glory days of the 8 and 16 bit hit parade, to the transition from cartridge to disc to download… one could say that video games represent their own wonderland for the human spirit.

Even wonderlands have graveyards.

Some of these ideas just didn’t catch on. Be it a glutted market, poor execution of a concept, or even an idea too far ahead of its time, a few consoles have fallen by the wayside, trampled underfoot in the war-march of the gaming industry. The real heartbreak lies in the fact that some of these concepts were even good. However, it can be argued, they were simply not good enough. After all, the market is brutal, and not every idea sticks. Today I will talk about one of the notable losers, one of the ideas that you probably saw… but not for long. Today I bring you…

Generation: 5th

Year Released: 1993

Discontinued: 1996

In the early 90s, things were changing significantly in the home video game world. Companies like Sega and Sony were developing consoles that ran games from a CD-ROM interface, instead of clunky and easily-dirtied cartridges that had limited data storage potential. Sony’s future powerhouse, the Playstation, hadn’t been released yet, but the buzz was everywhere. What had been released was Sega’s CD attachment for its existing Genesis console, and it had gone over very well despite a high price point and an initially limited game library (which quickly grew).

Atari knew it had to cash in! Atari felt it COULD cash in. After all, hadn’t they been the arcade dynamos of the early 80s? Surely there was a place for them among the new stars of this bright era. There had to be. They began R&D on two systems: the never-to-be 32 bit “Panther,” and the 64-bit Jaguar. Both of these projects were farmed out to a company called Flare, which had originally worked on a home arcade system called the Konix Multisystem. Flare had bailed on the Multisystem due to what could be called an overreach; they were shooting to replicate the arcade experience at home… in the early 90s… with an eye on price. Needless to say, with a floppy-disk system and limited RAM, the Multisystem did not take off.

Why Atari saw Flare as a sure winner despite this baffles me.

Sleek. Stylish. Sophisticated. An utter flop.

In their first brilliant move, Flare and Atari decided to go with cartridges. Knowing that their competitors were moving to CDs and doing quite well at it, they decided to try and pack more into a ROM-style cartridge. The controller design is also questionable; I liken it more to a TI-83 calculator than a joystick.

Does this mean I can use it to call Atari’s complaints department?

The system was released in November ’93, and had sold only around 100,000 units by the end of 1994. With only 67 total games in its library, the Jaguar’s selection of games was tiny throughout its first (and formative) years. Flaws in the CPU and UART components of the console contributed to this, as well as third-party developers’ unwillingness to take a risk on making games for a system already doing so poorly on the market.

The system’s belated CD attachment was kind of like putting a truck cap on an El Camino. It also did little to expand the Jaguar’s piss-poor game library.

Despite later attempts to save its flagging sales, which included a CD attachment and even an earnest try at VR technology, the Jaguar never really caught up with the emerging competition. Once the PS1 was released in 1995, sales took an even greater nose dive. In late 1995, Atari even tried infomercials to boost sales. In mid 1996, the Jaguar was laid to rest… and Atari was on the skids too.

It did have a killer BIOS screen though. I like to imagine that Tony Montana would see just this part alone and buy like 20 of them. One for every room in his coke mansion.

There were (and are) some high notes to the console’s ill fated tale. Firstly, its most successful title, Alien vs. Predator, was a notable success. A memorable and underrated entry to the FPS genre, it was an early example of diversity in that category, offering multiple characters for play. It also boasted an incredibly atmospheric setting, both audio- and video-wise.

Another high point would be Tempest 2000, a remake of the 1981 arcade title. This game was originally exclusive to the Jaguar, but was ported once sales began to truly dip. It is widely praised for its soundtrack, and is exhilarating to play even now.

It should also be noted that the Jaguar received ports of two of my favorite games: Wolfenstein 3D and Doom. Both received good reviews on the Jaguar.

The system still maintains a cult following. Hasbro bought Atari in the late 90s, and released the rights to the Jaguar. It is officially an open platform, and interested third parties can develop whatever they like for it. Some of the results can be seen (and grabbed) here.

I’m going to cover this one back up and let it rest in peace, but I’ll see you soon for another edition of Console Graveyard. Thanks for reading!

Arrogance? Wishful thinking? I’d say six of one, half a dozen of the other. Until next time, RetroManiacs!

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I can tell you folks about title after title, three times a month, or I can try to entertain you and shake it up a bit. This will be the first of an “Editor’s Choice” series of articles, where I focus on a category or aspect of classic gaming and give it the spotlight. I often use social media to discuss the subjects with others before sitting down to write; if you want to throw me suggestions,, look for me on the retro gaming related pages on Facebook. I’d like especially to give a shout out to Hidden Sound Test, for giving me so much feedback the other day.  I got a lot of good suggestions, but I plan to do more than one article on Genesis music, so don’t worry!

Sleek 90s styling. The console of the future is (was) now.

The Sega Genesis. Outside of North America, it was known as the Mega Drive. Released in 1988 in Japan, the system didn’t make it here to the West until a year or two later (depending where you lived).  It overlapped and competed heavily with the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, and there are still devoted partisans for each system who maintain their console is the superior.

One thing the Genesis had the SNES beat on, hands down, was music. The Sega  Genesis had not one but two chips devoted to music and sound; the Yamaha YM2612 FM Synthesizer did most of the heavy lifting, while the Texas Instruments SN76489 Programmable Sound chip rounded out instrument and sound effect selection. The result was a rich, sophisticated sound system that was still undeniably FM synthesis – crunchy and groovy.

I have chosen, in no particular order or rank, five tracks that I consider to be examples of the versatility of the Genesis sound suite.

#1: Gaiares Stage 1 Music

I have always loved spaceship shooters, and Gaiares is a solid one. Challenging and fast, it keeps you glued to the action. This theme is a great way to start the game, with a daring and upbeat feel to it. You fly into the void knowing you have what it takes to win the day. The entire game is full of vibrant tunes, but this one has always stood out for me. It’s intrepid, and even a little hopeful. I especially like the marimba-type instrument on the breakdowns.

#2: Warsong Title Screen/Player Phase 4 Music

Warsong (also known as Langrisser) is a strategy based game that I’ll admit to knowing only a bit about; I’ve only seen gameplay, and my local rental place never had it when I was growing up. However, a collector friend fired it up while we were hanging out one afternoon and I was enchanted by this track. It’s suitably mighty and medieval, but the crying horn synths and big drum arrangement lend it an aura of emotional turmoil. This is a very charged piece of music, which is fitting for a dramatic wargame like this.

#3: Sonic 2: Chemical Plant Zone Music

I’ve got a lot of love for the first 3 Sonic games. I’m not terribly good at them, but my good buddy Dan is. You can sit Dan down in front of a Sonic game and he’ll put it in its place. Dan loves this track, and so do I. It’s electric. It’s got that growling, dirty FM crunch with a laser-like high end and a stainless steel beat. It’s so 90s it can’t even contain itself.  I have supplied the extended version because you’ll want to listen to it for a while.

Castlevania: Bloodlines: Sinking Old Sanctuary (Stage 2) Music

Any fool knows that the Castlevania series has some of the most divine music of any video game franchise in history. When coupled with the depth of the Genesis’s instrumentation, this resulted in a set of masterwork tracks by composer Michiru Yamane (who would go on to write more fantastic music for Symphony of the Night). This track is somber but dynamic, well-suited to the ponderous yet lethal aquatic theme of the level. There is a soft beauty to the melody line, and there is a mellow ghostliness on the lead synths while they keep  pace with warm low-end arpeggios.

Toe Jam & Earl: The Big Earl Bump

Except for Sonic, no one was as cool on the Genesis as Toe Jam & Earl. The lost alien rappers also had great taste in tunes… and my favorite from the game is this twangy bop-fest. It’s really groovy, but it’s undeniably cartoonish. This is song for walking , which Toe Jam & Earl do a lot of. When I learned to play bass guitar, the first style I learned was jazz. I love the plucked sound and the snappy lines. The bass really shines through on this one.

In the near future, I will revisit the glorious music of the Sega Genesis with five more picks. Stay tuned, and thanks for all the feedback! 

See you in a few days for another game review, Retro Gamers! 

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